


Stark Naked & Strangely Embarrassed

by melanoms



Category: Ant-Man (Movies), Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Awkward Sexual Situations, Bombs, Cloak of Levitation (Marvel), Crack, Embarrassment, F/M, Funny, Insecure Stephen Strange, Light Dom/sub, Magic Tricks, Multi, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Polyamory, Sassy Tony Stark, Scott Lang is a Good Bro, Sick Tony Stark, Smut, Threesome - F/M/M, Timeline What Timeline, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, avengers vs murder bees, did i write this just to give the avengers a therapist? maybe, everyone is bad at feelings, i probably did not cover all the smut tags but you get the gist, playing fast and loose with canon and timelines, stephen has multiverse drama, suicidal antagonist, tony and stephen get stuck in grey’s anatomy, two dicks and we're not talking about their anatomy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:02:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 57,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23951260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melanoms/pseuds/melanoms
Summary: When Tony Stark and Stephen Strange started competing for your affections, you thought of a more pleasurable way to break the tie between them. They, however, seemed to be more fixated on competingwitheach other than competingforyou. You draw on your powers to help the two egotistical idiots see the error of their ways.Bad summary on Tumblr: two dicks, two assholes fight for emotionally unavailable woman but choose to fall in love with each other instead.
Relationships: Scott Lang & Reader, Stephen Strange/Reader, Tony Stark/Reader, Tony Stark/Stephen Strange, Tony Stark/Stephen Strange/Reader
Comments: 29
Kudos: 221





	1. Decent Conversation

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Copper_Cat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Copper_Cat/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got inspired to write a prequel :)

Narrowing his eyes at the bar, Tony took a sip of his drink and elbowed Natasha.

“Hey, Nat. Who’s that?”

She snorted a laugh.

“What?” Tony furrowed his brow.

“She’s way out of your league.”

“Out of…excuse me? Out of _my_ league?”

“You don’t want to go near that.”

“How crazy?”

Natasha shook her head and snickered.

“Oh, Tony,” she hummed before leaving him to himself.

But just as Tony was about to make his unnecessary introduction, he stopped in his tracks.

At the bar, you flipped the page of your book as Stephen leaned against the edge. He examined the swirl of the transparent liquid in his glass.

“These things are terrible, aren’t they?” he mused.

You sipped your martini and continued reading.

Clearing his throat, Stephen readjusted his stance and put his hand in the pocket of his suit pants. He felt a bit like his old self. Although he wasn’t sure if that was a good thing.

“You’re just wandering around hoping you can find someone capable of a decent conversation,” Stephen continued, “I used to attend these functions all the time. But now…”

You cocked your eyebrow without removing your gaze from the page.

“And what says you’re decent conversation?” you asked.

“Well, I managed to talk to you, didn’t I?” He smirked.

You set down your book and gave Stephen a sideways glance.

“Narcissist with a savior complex.”

“Excuse me?” He leaned forward.

You redirected your attention to your book just as Tony arrived on the other side of you. He opened his mouth to speak. But you held up a finger and beat him to it.

“Severe father wound with a side of worthiness, intimacy, commitment, and abandonment issues.”

“What?!” He reeled his head back, eyes bugging out of his skull.

Tony’s gaze flickered to Stephen as the sorcerer’s eyes darted all around the room. Clearing your throat, you closed your book and hopped off the barstool.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Tony put his hand on your shoulder. “You can’t just—”

“Identify that you’re psychologically incapable of having a genuine conversation with me? I believe I just did.”

Stephen plucked your book from your hand and scowled.

“The Body Keeps the Score? Are you really into the soft sciences?”

“Keep it.” You shrugged. “Tony Stark is the poster child for PTSD. You might learn some useful procedures to conduct on him, Doctor.”

“Doct—”

You strutted over to Scott on the other side of the room.

Tony dashed to Natasha who was entranced in a conversation with Maria. He reached out to yank on her arm. But thought better and tapped her on the shoulder.

“Did you know that she—”

Natasha looked over her shoulder and smirked. “Did she psychologically profile you with one look?”

“No,” Stephen protested from behind Tony. 

Tony whipped his head around and glared at him. 

“Just what are you…” He looked back at Natasha. “Wait, what did she say when she met you?”

“Cute shoes.” She shrugged. “But you don’t want to know what she said to Loki.” 

Natasha and Maria snickered as they walked away from the two dumbstruck men.

Tony and Stephen scanned the room to see you laughing with Scott. In a blur, they raced over and started talking over each other.

“Oh, hey guys!” Scott beamed at them. “Great party, Tones.”

“Don’t ever call me that again.” Tony glared at him.

“Who exactly are you?” Stephen narrowed his eyes at you. 

“Well, I’m not you, Doctor Stephen Strange. So hardly anyone of interest. At least according to your book.” You raised your eyebrows.

Scott held up his hand and smiled at you.

“Easy there, Doc. These guys are cool.”

“Doctor?” Stephen furrowed his brow. “PhD.”

But when you only snickered in reply, he threw his head back and groaned 

“No, DO. There’s no way you’re an MD.”

“From what I hear, you aren’t either.”

“I have a PhD.”

“So do I. But only one of us can still practice medicine.”

“Where the hell did you come from?” Tony scrutinized you. “Are you his take-home shrink?”

“Scott is the most well adjusted of all of you. If anyone needs a take-home mental health professional it’s…”

Your eyes darted between the two of them. 

“What’s your name, sweetheart?” Tony clicked his tongue.

You studied his expression for a moment. But, to Scott’s surprise, instead of retaliating you offered your name and smirked.

“And your schtick?” Tony asked.

Eyes locked with Tony’s, you extended your hand and inserted your finger into Stephen’s drink. After a single stir, you activated your powers and fazed your hand through the bottom of the glass.

You inserted your finger into your mouth and sucked.

“Tenneyson.” You licked your lips. “Excellent choice.”

“Oh God,” Tony gasped.

“You can move through physical matter.” Stephen narrowed his eyes.

You reclaimed your book from him and grinned. “Just a party trick but it’s no magic act. Scott’s helping me learn how to work these…whatever you call them.”

“Lab explosion?” Tony cocked an eyebrow.

“No, I’ve always been able to. Almost got my finger stuck in a wall as a kid and never used them again. Wasn’t until recently that I thought maybe I should learn what to do with myself since my molecules don’t mind separating themselves and coming back together.

“Well, I mean, if you need training, you could always, y’know…”

Tony rubbed the back of his neck and tittered.

“I don’t know, Tony.” You took a step toward him and raised your eyebrows. “Please finish the thought.”

Stephen rolled his eyes and scoffed. “You can’t possibly be—”

“Missing everything being about you?” 

You reached out and stroked the side of his face. Batting your eyelashes, you enjoyed the heat of his skin under your fingers.

“I, um,” Stephen swallowed. 

You retracted your touch and returned your focus to Tony. Handing your book to Scott, you smirked.

“Give me a moment with the boys, Hot Shot?”

“Hot Shot?” Stephen scowled.

Mouth slightly agape, Scott took your book as his eyes flickered amongst the three of you. 

“With the…OH.” His eyes widened before scrambling away.

You crossed your arms and grinned at Tony and Stephen.

“You two have put together your broken psyches with duct tape and…” You glanced at Tony. “Whiskey. But I can’t deny that you’re both rather pretty.”

“Are you objectifying me, or us….” He grimaced at Stephen. “Us?”

“What else are you two good for?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Saving the world!” they shouted.

“You?”

“You?”

They scowled at each other.

“You only leave more of a mess whenever you go,” Stephen complained.

“And yet, I didn’t manage to break the timeline.”

“I repeatedly sacrificed myself to an interdimensional dark demon. You threw a tantrum on a racetrack and got called a hero.”

“Why don’t we put you behind the wheel, Doc? See how that went last time?”

“I transcended the need for ground transportation.”

“So did I. When I sent that missile through a wormhole.”

“Just kiss already!” You threw out your arms. 

“What?!” 

They whipped their heads around. Realizing the close proximity of their faces, Stephen and Tony cleared their throats and took a step back.

“Or take it upstairs if you’re worried about people watching.” You shrugged. “Unless you’re into that sort of thing.”

“Dinner.” Tony nodded to you. “Let me take you to dinner.”

“Are you serious?” You stared at him.

“She can’t possibly be interested in an alcoholic with daddy issues.” Stephen raised his eyebrows at you. “Dinner. In Paris.”

“I can take her to Paris just as easily.”

“My sling ring is faster than your jet.”

“I bet it’s not the only thing that’s quick on the draw.”

“No, your need to reject all responsibility is much faster.”

But their attention was, once again, redirected to you as you started snickering.

“I’m not going to dinner with either of you.”

Tony held out his hand and looked at you with pleading eyes. “If you don’t like French food, we can always—”

“But I _will_ get in bed…” Your eyes flickered between them. “…with both of you.”

“With a narcissistic with a savior complex?” Stephen gave you a bewildered look.

Tony raised a brow. “And a commitment-phobe with daddy issues?”

You glanced at the floor and shook your head.

“I don’t expect an emotionally coherent conversation from either of you. But I wouldn’t mind benefiting from _your_ intense fear of failure and _your_ need to prove yourself.”

You looked at Stephen and Tony respectively.

“Aren’t you supposed to be…healthier than this?” Stephen smirked.

You flashed him a devilish look. “Who said I don’t have some commitment issues of my own?”

“Done.” Tony snapped and pointed a finger gun.

“You can’t possibly be—” Stephen started.

Tony bore his eyes into you. “I’m in.”

“Me too.” Stephen snapped his gaze to you.

“Well, boys. A little friendly competition never hurt anyone. And here I thought I wasn’t going to make any new friends tonight.”

“Oh, when I’m finished with you,” Tony snickered, “we’re going to be…very friendly.”

“Aw, there’s that infamous Stark fear of intimacy.” You patted him on the side of the face. “Just let Scott explore the Tower because I begged him not to break in for a self-guided tour.”

“Deal.” Tony smirked.

“You clean up nicely, Sorcerer.” 

You placed your hand on Stephen’s chest and leaned in to peck him on the cheek. Stephen grunted and redirected his gaze to the floor. 

When you offered the same to Tony, he turned his face in an attempt to bring your lips to his. But you leaned back and held up a finger. 

“Don’t get greedy, Tones.” 

“Sounds better from you,” he murmured.

You threaded your fingers through his hair to command him in place. Tony’s breath hitched at the sensation. With calculated movements, you leaned in and pressed your lips to his cheek before wiggling your eyebrows at the both of them.

“See you later, boys. I have a criminal to catch.”

“Reformed ex-con!” Scott shouted from across the room.

“Hot Shot!” You threw your arms up and sauntered over to him.

After the exchange of the briefest glance, Tony scratched the back of his head. Stephen put his hands in his pockets and stared at the floor.

“So you’re going to…” Stephen cleared his throat.

“Yeah, um…I’ll send someone for you in…when…yeah.”

Like opposing poles of a magnet, they strutted to opposite ends of the room. Stephen and Tony spent the rest of the night watching you chatter away with Scott…and anyone else who was blessed with the sound of your resounding laugh.

A curious night indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because someone asked me about this on Tumblr: In the US, you can become a medical doctor as a doctor of osteopathic medicine (DO) or a doctor of medicine (MD). DOs have a more holistic mind, body, spirit approach to medicine compared to traditional MDs. As a result, DOs can sometimes be judged as “softer” than MDs. Like how the hard sciences are the natural sciences and the soft sciences are the social sciences. Basically, any reason that Stephen can be an elitist dick, he found a way.


	2. Give Us a Chance

“Guys, when I imagined lying naked in Tony Stark’s bed, I did not imagine it going like this.”

You stared vacantly at the ceiling.

“It’s unfair for you to rely on the use of your hands because mine…” Stephen glanced at his tremors then shot daggers at Tony with his eyes.

“You don’t trust your _other_ appendages, Doctor? You should have a better sense of human anatomy by now,” Tony snapped back.

You fisted the sheets and groaned.

“I don’t care whose hands they are, but someone better touch me soon.”

“Well, if I can’t use my hands, then you can’t use magic.”

“I’ve spent years learning to master the mystic arts. I use this power to protect all of reality. Of course I’m bringing it to bed.”

“Just what are you going to do? Saw her in half?” Tony mockingly waved his hands in the air.

Stephen glowered at Tony and leaned in—carefully staying a still unmeasured number of inches away from him.

“Beautiful, naked woman waiting to feel _something_ enter her. Although preferably not a saw.”

“You have no idea what I’m capable of,” Stephen growled.

Tony crossed his arms over his bare chest and rolled his eyes.

“At least I use real science and not tricks from Online Close-Up Magic University.”

“I am a world-renowned neurosurgeon! I’m just as versed in science as the mystic. You just can’t see past the physical. Can you learn _this_ from the internet?”

Stephen’s naked body started hurtling to the tile floor. The Cloak of Levitation soared over to wrap him and break his fall, determined to protect _all_ limbs from any oncoming damage. 

Tony blinked a few times to confirm the horrific vision of Stephen Strange, Sorcerer Supreme, Protector of the Time Stone and his own douchebag reality hovering over him stark nude—no, poor choice of words— _totally naked_ in his astral form and embarrassing himself with crude ‘come at me bro’ hand gestures.

“Dude, you just made this a million times more weird. Get back in your body. I doubt that she wants to touch—”

But Tony cocked an eyebrow to see the bed completely empty.

“Did she just…”

“Faze through the bed? Yup.”

Stephen returned to his physical body. He was, admittedly, never more grateful to have the Cloak of Levitation as his relic than at that very moment.

In the living room of Stark Tower, you sat on the couch across from Scott. In your dress for the evening, you whipped out the Queen of Hearts and raised your eyebrows.

“Is _this_ your card,” you snickered.

“YES!” He raised his fists in the air and gave you a high five. “You’re getting better. It took me way longer to learn that one. And I had literally nothing else to do all day but take a bath.”

You smirked and gave him a wink. “I have a wonderful teacher. Who knew being able to faze through objects would actually lead me to the most renowned magician in the world.”

“Hey,” Stephen whined from the door.

You turned to face him and crossed your arms. Raising your eyebrows, you examined the, now, fully dressed Tony Stark and Stephen Strange wearing well-deserved looks of shame. Stephen blushed and glanced downward while Tony rubbed the back of his neck and grimaced.

You cocked an eyebrow.

“Did you two have fun? Get it all out of your system?” 

You tilted your head to the side. “Or into each other’s systems?”

“We, we are so sorry,” Tony pleaded. He took a step forward and raised his hands in a feeble defense.

Holding the deck of cards, Scott furrowed his brow and looked between you and the pitiful geniuses of dumbfuckery.

“Um, what’s going on here?” he asked.

You rolled your eyes.

“When you both started competing to get in my pants, I thought a three-way would at least be a fun way of breaking the tie. But apparently, you’re more interested in checking out each other than pleasuring me. Just break out the measuring stick and bone already.”

Scott’s face twisted in confusion. “Wait, you guys were…”

“It won’t happen again,” Stephen begged.

“We promise,” Tony added.

“No, it won’t. Because neither one of you egotistical maniacs is touching, or thinking about touching, me ever again. At this rate, Scott and I have a better chance of fucking than me with either of you.”

Scott raised his eyebrows and leaped up from the couch. 

“Whoa, whoa. Guys, I don’t want any trouble.”

“Wouldn’t he be a little...small?” Stephen cocked an eyebrow.

Scott put his hands on his hips and huffed. He waved an insulted and perfectly normal sized finger in the air.

“That’s just for—”

“Scram, Ten Millimeter,” Tony said without taking his eyes off your unimpressed face.

“Okay, that’s not entirely untrue…” Scott shrugged. But he bolted the moment that Tony glared at him with a look that could eviscerate even a full-grown man to a puff of smoke.

You rose to your feet and put your hands on your waist. Taking in a deep breath, you recalibrated your expression to look a little less annoyed. But only by a micron.

“I told you both, we’re done.”

“Please,” Tony said your name like it was made of glass. “Give me another chance.”

He glanced at Stephen who returned his gaze meekly.

“Give us a chance,” Tony corrected.

You threw your head back and drew in a deep breath. With a sigh, you shook out your shoulders and realigned yourself upright. Eyes flickering between the two sorrowful idiots, the corner of your mouth upturned in the slightest grin.

“Alright. You each get one more chance to dazzle my senses. But if you spend more time looking at each other than me, I am not above fazing myself out of that room no matter who’s inside me.”

You raised your eyebrows. “Or where.”

They both released heavy sighs of relief and you bounced to the door. You spun around to take in one more luxurious glance at their shame.

“And if anyone talks about sawing me in half, I’m calling Loki. Because neither of you knows how to probably treat a woman and her knives.”

You winked before dashing off to get undressed.

For the second time that evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For my FINAL trick, I shall make this woman *disappear!*


	3. It's Polenta Night

Bacon crackling in the pan, Scott tapped his foot and swished his hips. He spun around and held the spatula to his mouth and sang (wholeheartedly) along with the music blaring from his phone.

“Marry me, Juliet! You'll never have to be alone! I love you and that's all I really know!” 

Wearing Tony’s sunglasses, you fumbled through the front door and tossed your heels aside. You dragged yourself into the kitchen with a grunt. Plopping down in your designated seat, you threw your feet on the table and swiped his phone. 

You muted the music and threw your head back and groaned, tossing Tony’s sunglasses next to your abandoned shoes.

“Morning, sunshine!” Scott bellowed.

You winced. Shameless grin stamped across his face, Scott scurried over and shoved a generous heaping of pancakes on your plate. He scowled at your feet.

“How many times do I have to tell you to—”

You fazed through the table and slammed your feet to the floor.

Scott distributed the bacon between your plate and his. Scooting in his chair, he sat next to you. 

“This week, we’re testing white chocolate and strawberries.”

He assaulted your stack with whipped cream. 

“Scottie, what is…” But your eyes widened. “Tomorrow.”

“Yup!” Scott slammed the canister back to the table.

He tore into his pancakes and nodded to yours. 

“I expect a full report.”

But just as you opened your mouth to speak, Scott pointed his fork at you. 

“Don’t you dare analyze me.”

“I know you care. But this is just a performative need to be liked.”

You took his fork and chomped down. After a chew and swallow, you shrugged.

“Cassie’s not going to reject you because you can’t make a decent breakfast.”

“They’re bad?! But I followed the…”

He started furiously swiping through his Pinterest boards. Shaking your head, you plucked his phone from his hands and set it aside.

“These are your best yet.” You raised your eyebrows. “I’m merely saying you don’t need them to be a good dad. Or for her to like you.”

“You’re not my shrink anymore.”

“I was never your shrink.”

You leaned back and smirked.

“Yeah,” Scott scoffed. “I don’t know how they ever let you inside a prison.”

“Because I’m _that_ insane?”

“Because you’re that good.” He swallowed a half-chewed chunk of pancake. “You could have gone anywhere. But you chose to spend your time in Cell Block C therapizing convicts.”

“I told you before. I was in between practices.” You picked at your pancakes as the whipped cream wilted. “Pay was shit though.”

“I know you didn’t research _anyone_ at that party. Especially...”

Your gaze bolted to the third setting. “Luis is later than—”

“I’M HERE!” Luis burst through the door. “I got the…”

But his eyes darted between the can of whipped cream in his hand to the identical one on the table.

“Oh, hell no!” He stomped his foot. “I had one job!”

Scott relieved him of the whipped cream and tossed it in the fridge.

“S’cool, man. We’re on strawberry and white chocolate this week.”

“Don’t mind if I…” Luis eyed his plate. But after a moment, he furrowed his brow at you. “You look nice. Like...really nice. Didn’t you guys have that, that thing last night?”

“No,” you whined.

Scott set down his glass of orange juice. “Avengers mixer.”

“You get to do the coolest things.” Luis sliced through his stack of pancakes with his fork. “I would have gone but, you know.”

“Of course. You’re a busy man.” Scott waved his hand through the air.

“But I would have LOVED to see the inside of that tower. Maybe we could…”

Luis’ gaze flickered to you. With your elbow on the table, you cradled your face in your palm and rolled your eyes.

“You can plan crimes around me. I honestly don’t care.”

“You went to the Avengers mixer last night.” Luis tilted his head to the side.

“Such a dumb concept,” you groaned. “Who organized this?”

“And you’re still wearing your fancy clothes.”

“I busted out the best for Scott’s white chocolate strawberry pancakes.”

“GIRL!” Luis threw his fork to the table. “Who did you go home with last night?”

“Whaaat?”

“I have been here an entire 4 minutes and you haven’t even—” He narrowed his eyes at Scott.

Scott threw out his hands and shook his head. “Hey, I’m not one to judge.”

“But you’re wondering.” You raised your eyebrows.

“I mean…” His eyes flickered from your face to his pancakes to your face again. He shrugged meekly and grimaced.

“Was it Thor?” Luis leaned forward. “He’s got the y'know...”

He flexed.

When you scoffed and sipped your juice, Luis snapped his gaze to Scott. But he could only look to the side and shrug.

“Oh, oh, I know! You need a brainy guy. Another doctor. What about…”

He flexed again.

“Luis,” you groaned.

“Loki?”

“Oh my God!” You shot upright.

Scott clasped his hands and set them on the table. He leaned forward and batted his eyelashes at you.

“And how does that make you feel?”

“Oh, fuck off.” You wrinkled your nose.

Scott waved a finger at you. “None of that language when Cassie—”

“Captain America!” Luis shoved out his chair as he stood up. “Has he ever...does he know how…”

“I’m going to shower.” You stomped away from the table.

“We are not done with this discussion, young lady!” Scott called out.

When they could hear the shower water running, Luis reclaimed his seat and scooted forward.

“Who was it?”

“You’re asking the wrong question.” Scott tapped his temple. “Not ‘who’ but how many?”

“The whole team?!” Luis’ eyes blew wide open.

“No! Just two of ‘em.” He nodded to your heels and the sunglasses resting next to them.

Luis put his hand over his mouth and looked at Scott with wide eyes.

“And?”

“What can I say?” Scott leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. “Doc has a type.”

That morning, Tony Stark woke up to an unsettling vision: 

Doctor Stephen Strange sleeping in his bed.

“Yo! Wizard!” He smacked him with a pillow.

Stephen bolted upright. He put the heel of his palm to his forehead and shook out his face.

“I-I don’t, I usually don’t sleep...not fully.”

But when his eyes dared to drift to Tony, the billionaire already had his glasses on. With a scrutinizing gaze, he scrolled through his phone.

“You were right.” Tony stroked his goatee and shook his head. “She’s a DO. Got her PhD during residency.”

“Not nearly as rigorous as a surgical program. Of course she could write a dissertation on feelings.”

“She studied number theory, dumbass.” Tony cocked an eyebrow as he continued to scroll. “Wrote her dissertation on cryptology. Actually pretty good.”

Stephen scowled and leaned against the headboard. He dragged his hands down his face with a groan.

“Ah,” Tony mused. “She worked at a prison. That’s how she met Hot Shot. Left right after he was released and ran a private practice. Moved around every six months or so.”

He smirked and looked at Stephen. “And she says I have commitment issues.”

“Where are my…” Stephen furrowed his brow and glanced around the room. “Where are my clothes?”

The Cloak of Levitation drifted over with the sorcerer’s suit in tow.

“Thanks,” Stephen muttered as he threw on his dress shirt.

Without looking up from his phone, Tony raised his eyebrows.

“Get me a coffee will ya? Black.”

The Cloak smacked his phone from his grasp. Stephen lunged forward and barely fumbled to prevent the device from soaring across the room. When Tony’s phone was shaking in his hands, he tossed it across the bed.

“Thanks.” Tony wiped off the screen.

“Don’t mention it.”

“You really ought to tell that thing to—”

“Really. Don’t. Mention it.”

Stephen swung his legs over the side of the bed and threw on his pants. Shimmying into them, he buckled his belt and shook his head.

“We’re doing this again.” Tony said.

“What?” Stephen whipped his head around and stared at him. “You said yourself she’s got—”

Tony lowered his glasses and eyed the sorcerer. “Leave those ravishing commitment issues to me.”

When you were done with your shower, you threw on some jeans and one of Scott’s t-shirts. But when you strode back to the living room, you lurched backward.

“Holy shit!”

“Miss me, Trinity?” Tony grinned at you.

Next to Tony, Luis gave you two thumbs up; accompanied by a massive grin.

You rolled your eyes and plopped on the couch between Tony and Scott. 

“You’re not getting your sunglasses back,” you grumbled. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Tony leaned in to peck you on the cheek.

But you held up your hand and his lips met your palm. Wrinkling his nose, Tony blinked a few times and leaned back. After a moment, he smirked and wrapped his arm around you.

You rolled your eyes. 

On the other side of Tony, Luis leaned over and mouthed “Was it that bad?”

“Doc enjoyed herself.” Tony pinched your cheek. “They both did.”

You buried your face in your hands. “What do you want?”

“Hey guys, need a private consultation.” Tony looked between Luis and Scott and clicked his tongue.

They exchanged a glance. With wide eyes, Luis and Scott scrambled from the couch and dashed to the hallway. They leaned against the wall and peered over the doorway at the back of your heads.

“I would have called…” Tony smirked. “But I didn’t have your number.”

“Somehow that line works for anyone... but you.”

You crossed your arms and leaned back. But Tony ran his hand across your waist and brought his lips a breath away from yours.

“C’mon, Trinity. You missed me.”

You sucked in a breath and kissed him. It felt almost the same as the night before. When you withdrew, you stroked his nose with your index finger.

“No, I didn’t.” You raised your eyebrows.

“Oh, damn,” Luis mouthed.

“I heard that!” Tony called out.

But just as he redirected his focus to you, a circle of brilliant orange sparks illuminated the living room. Stephen stepped through the portal and could have eviscerated Tony with his gaze alone. 

“I knew I couldn’t leave this to you.”

Grabbing your wrist, Stephen yanked you to your feet. Untangling you from Tony was an added benefit. 

Your chest rebounded from his as your breath caught in your throat. Stephen steadied his hands on your hips and traced circles under your shirt with his thumbs. 

“The offer for dinner still stands,” he whispered.

“I, um, I have dinner plans. Polenta night with Scott and Luis. We try different recipes from around the...internet.”

“Nope! Italy is next week!” Scott called out.

“Scott, we have three pounds of polen—"

“I’ve got a date tonight!” He stepped into the room and shrugged. “So you’re totally free as far as I’m concerned.”

“Aw, man. I was really excited about—”

Scott elbowed Luis.

“Trying cheese polenta next week! Right. Polenta night is next week.” Luis nodded aggressively.

You looked back at Stephen with wide eyes. The corner of his mouth upturned in a nearly imperceptible smirk.

Nearly.

Tony bolted to his feet and spun you around by your shoulders. He trailed his hands down your shoulders to take your hands in his.

“I’m unusually available tonight.” He grinned.

Stephen scowled at him. “Do you know how much Ben and Jerry’s I had to promise Wong to get him to stay in tonight?”

“Since I’m actually in charge, I don’t need to get someone to cover my shift.” Tony winked at you. “Just pushed off a few meetings.”

“Oh my God,” you groaned. 

Tony beamed at you with a sparkle in his eye. “I can take you to Italy. Get you your polenta. There’s this great—” 

Stephen took a step forward, squishing you between them even more. You could have swore the Cloak of Levitation hooked around your knee to draw you closer to the sorcerer. 

“No, you’re not taking her anywhere. We agreed—”

“What?!” You pressed your palms to their chests and shoved them away. “You made agreements?”

They stared at you and gulped.

You drew in a breath and rolled your eyes. 

“Let’s get this clear. There is no dating. There is no dinner. We’re just having sex.”

“Present tense.” Stephen raised his eyebrows.

“So you’re not...done?” Tony asked.

“I’ll grab a beer with you two. But that’s it.”

“And then…” Tony cocked an eyebrow.

“If you need me to say it, you are too stupid to touch me again.”

Tony took a step forward. But your eyes widened when he smacked Stephen on the shoulder. 

“See you tonight, Doc.”

Tony winked at you. He offered a two-fingered salute to Scott and Luis. Just as he was about to exit the house, he looked back and grinned.

“I’ll pick the time and place. Might just buy it.”

When the door slammed shut, you sucked in a breath and looked back at Stephen. He clenched his jaw and looked downward. 

You traced the side of his face with a gentle smile. 

“See you tonight, Doctor.”

He cleared his throat and straightened his posture. 

Scott and Luis’ eyes widened as Stephen summoned a portal. He took one step into the Sanctum and looked back at you.

“Just don’t...don’t change your mind.”

“Goodbye, Stephen. I’ll see you tonight.”

You offered him a gentle wave. Stephen gave you a nod. When he was on the other side of the portal, it closed in a swirl of orange. 

You spun around and pointed a menacing finger at Scott.

“You didn’t help me at all there!”

“What?” He scoffed. “I did you a huge favor!”

You threw your head back and groaned.

“Was it really that bad?” Luis cocked an eyebrow. “Because you can tell us.”

“No, no.” Scott clicked his tongue. “She likes them.”

“Scott.” You glared at him.

“I’m no shrink. But I can tell.” 

“It’s just sex.” You rolled your eyes. 

He smirked and shook his head. “What would you do without me?”

“Actually get to eat my weight in polenta.”

“Hey, I’m not the one offering to take you to Italy.”

“I’m going to my room.”

“And you will think about what you’ve done!” Scott waved a finger at you. 

You stepped toward him and smushed his face between your hands. 

“Next time you and Hope are in an argument, I’m siding with her.”

“You should. She’s usually right.”

You smirked and freed his face. 

“I wish you two got along better.” Scott grimaced.

“We’re working on it.”

“Hey, Doc,” Luis cleared his throat. “Are we allowed to ask...questions?”

“Do you want to know length or girth?”

“Nevermind!” Luis shoved his hands in his pockets and stared at the floor.

Scott smirked. “You’re cruel.”

“No, I’m going to my room to think about what, I mean, who I’ve done.”

With a wink, you bounded down the hallway. 

Polenta night was next week after all.


	4. Thunderstruck

Adjusting your AC/DC t-shirt, you entered the living room and looked for your keys. 

“Oh, mama!” Luis put his fist over his mouth.

“It’s just a bit of makeup.” You swiped your keys from the coffee table and shoved them in your pocket.

“Hey, I don’t think this stuff is good anymore.” Scott spun around from the refrigerator, scrutinizing the roll of polenta in his hand. His eyes widened when he looked back up. 

“Hot DAMN!”

“Makeup. It’s the makeup.” You marched over and threw the questionable polenta in the garbage. “Polenta night is next week, assholes.”

“Are you trying to kill those poor boys? Or get them to kill each other?” Scott looked you up and down.

“I’m just going for a free beer.” 

“Lookin’ like that, Mr. Stark will give you the whole bar.” Luis raised his eyebrows.

“He said you could call him Tony.” Scott opened a soda and leaned against the counter.

“Yeah, I know. Still feels weird.” Luis scrunched his face and shrugged.

“You.” Scott gestured to you with his soda. “He’d like you to call him Mr. Stark.”

“Scott Edward Harris Lang!” You glared at him.

He held up his hands in defense. “Alright, we won’t stay up.  _ Trinity. _ ”

“Can I borrow your car?” You rolled your eyes.

“Sure.” Scott took a sip. “But you won’t need to.”

Following Scott’s line of sight, you glanced out the window. You tilted your head to the side as Tony parked in front of the house. He silenced the growl of the engine and exited the vehicle.

Hand in your back pocket, you stepped onto the patio and grinned. 

“Nice ride.”

Tony cocked an eyebrow. 

“What? This?” He put his sunglasses on top of his head. “Just for everyday.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck and smiled.

“You’re already having sex with me tonight. You don’t need to be impressive.”

“I don’t need to try to do anything, Trinity. You just can’t help being impressed.”

He pecked you on the cheek and wrapped his arm around your shoulder. Tony reached out to open the door for you. But you swatted his hand away and narrowed your eyes.

“Not a date.”

“Right.”

He cleared his throat and strode to the driver’s side. You swung open the door and rested your hand on top of the car. With a grin, you looked over your shoulder and blew a kiss to Luis.

In the window, he peered over his phone—camera eagerly recording the entire incident—and gave you a thumbs up.

As Tony tore through the streets of suburbia, Scott looked at Luis and grinned.

“Doc  _ so  _ has a date tonight!”

As Stephen walked into the dive bar, he wrinkled his nose and scowled at the dimly lit dining area. He would only touch anything that was absolutely necessary. 

But at least they were playing  _ When I Fall in Love. _ 2006\. Botti, not Astley. The Wilshire Theater. It was the one redeeming quality of this senseless petridish.

Stephen scanned his revolting environment, rolling his eyes at the corner booth. On top of the table, was a crudely scrawled sign.

_ Reserved: Anthony Stark _

Stephen narrowed his eyes at the seating area. He hadn’t been somewhere this disgusting since his residency; preferring not to broadcast that to anyone with decent sensibilities. 

With caution, his eyes darted around the room before performing a spell to disinfect the booth. The bartender and the three regulars of the establishment were otherwise preoccupied with worlds of their own; daydreaming too much to notice the very magic that graced their presence.

“Just what are you doing to my bar?” Tony threw out his hands.

Stephen spun around and glared at him.

“I would expect you to fit right in here. It’s—”

“Magnificent.” Tony bunched his fingers together and pressed them to his lips. 

You snickered and wrapped your arms around Stephen’s waist. 

“T-shirt, jeans, and a...blazer.” You cocked an eyebrow.

“I have standards. Nothing about this establishment meets them.” 

He looked over your shoulder and narrowed his eyes at Tony. But you redirected his focus to you and raised your eyebrows. 

“I told you I’d see you tonight.”

“I’m relieved you were right.”

Tony audibly gagged from behind you. “Holster your feelings, Doc.”

“Tony,” you sang. “Get us a round of drinks.”

“That is not my—”

“That bartender looks mighty eager to meet the new owner. You might need an extra glass just to catch her drool.”

Tony looked over his shoulder as the bartender giggled and twirled her hair. Clearing his throat, he glanced down and pointed his thumb backward.

“Right, um, I should introduce myself.”

Before Stephen could add his commentary, you threaded your fingers through his hair and brought him into a kiss. He placed his hands along your hips to narrow the distance between you.

“Oh, c’mon!” Tony groaned.

You withdrew and pressed your fingertips to your lips.

“You already got one today.”

“But you used tongue.” Tony pointed at Stephen. 

The sorcerer snickered and took a seat; tugging on your wrist to drag you down with him. With a string of grumbles, Tony scooted next to you. 

You were firmly pressed between the two of them. Tony rested his palms on his knees and leaned back.

“So...what got you into medicine?”

“I wanted to…” Stephen snapped his jaw shut. He glanced down and shook his head. “That was for you.”

“We were both expecting it,” you and Tony replied. 

The bartender arrived with a round of beers and set them on the table, leaning over a generous amount as she winked at Tony. When she returned to her post, you cocked an eyebrow and took a sip of beer.

“Going to get her number?” 

“What?” Tony furrowed his brow. “Why would I do that?”

“She’s not your type?” 

“No...she’s…” Tony looked at the bartender and back to you.

“Let me say this again.” You gave them both a stern look. “We’re just having sex. Nothing more. So if you want to get it going with anyone else…”

You shrugged. 

“I know you have quite the reputation.” You smirked at Tony then looked at Stephen. “And I’m betting you were a total slut during your residency.”

“Was no—” Stephen stared at you with wide eyes. “Okay, maybe a little…”

“And at the height of your career?” You cocked an eyebrow. 

Stephen’s eyes darted around. “Relationships...aren’t my thing.”

You set your hand on his knee and looked into his eyes.

“Radical honesty with yourself is how you begin the path to healing.”

Stephen rolled his eyes and groaned. You threw your head back and laughed. 

“I had to see your face.”

“That’s the best you can do, Doc?” Tony leaned forward, bringing your attention to his equally available, but far better-looking face.

You stroked his cheek and grinned.

“Only for men who don’t ask me stupid first date questions.”

Stephen snorted a laugh and set down his glass. Upon the song change, he looked at you and smirked.

“Can’t Take My Eyes Off You. Frankie Valli. 1967. Recorded in April, released in May, and topped charts in July.”

Pressing his back to the booth, Tony crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. He dragged his hand down his face and groaned.

“Could you be any lamer? Look at the shirt. There’s no way she’s into—”

“They played Chris Botti earlier.” You raised your eyebrows. “His rendition of Nessun Dorma is a favorite of mine.”

“No, no. This won’t do.” Tony shook his head and pulled out his phone. “FRIDAY, get me into this sound system.”

“I would, but it’s not online,” she replied.

“It’s not...WHAT?!” Tony sprang to his feet and marched over to the bar. 

You rested your head on Stephen’s shoulder and chuckled. 

“He looked up the nastiest place and bought it just to make you uncomfortable. Guess they’re a little too analog for him.”

Your eyes flickered to his wristwatch. “But you can appreciate that.”

Stephen fiddled with the band and glanced down. 

“For all the leading Stark tech, what’s protected his reality is actually quite ancient.”

“Your spellwork?” You glanced at him.

“Wong’s sweet tooth.”

Snickering, you returned your head to his shoulder and smirked.

“I’m more for salty over sweet.”

“Same.”

“Really?”

You leaned up and raised your eyebrows. After a hard swallow, Stephen looked at his watch and shook his head.

“I know...I know I’m not—”

But, to his relief, Stephen didn’t have to finish the sentence when  _ Thunderstruck  _ started blaring through the speakers. Tony emerged from the backroom with the bartender and threw out his arms.

“Now,  _ this  _ is music!”

You fazed right through the table as you rushed next to him. Throwing your hands into your hair, you shook your body to the beat. Tony pointed finger guns at you and snickered.

“Trinity got some moves!”

You yanked on his wrists to latch his palms to your waist. Tony’s eyes widened as you circled your hips and mouthed along to the lyrics. With a grunt, he fisted your shirt. But you spun around and pressed your back to his chest. You threw your fingers into his hair and beamed at Stephen.

“Do you dance?” you called out.

Shaking his head, Stephen waved a hand through the air. Tony leaned in and nipped your neck. As you pressed your hips back into him, he snapped his fingers at the bartender. 

With a nod, she retreated to the backroom. Now that the bar was filled with far too much life for the regulars, they left in search of inebriated solitude.

Just as you started giggling, you peeled your body from Tony and rushed back to the table. Leaning over, you raised an eyebrow at Stephen.

“Dance is an exquisite way to exorcise grief.”

“And what do I have to grieve?” 

“Oh, Stephen.”

You spun around and practically ran into Tony. Taking that as your cue, you yanked on the lapels of his jacket and commanded his lips to yours. 

“Your place,” you panted. “All of us. Now.”

Stephen already had a portal open behind Tony’s back. Sensing the shift in the very fabric of reality, Tony furrowed his brow and withdrew from you. He glanced over his shoulder to see his bedroom staring back at him.

“That’s a security issue.”

“Few pints of Hunka-Hulka Burning Fudge and I’m sure Wong will do the spellwork for you.”

Tony shrugged. “Until then…”

He yanked you through the security breach. Stephen followed right behind you.


	5. Trinity

Both men abandoned their jackets. 

Exploring your tongue with his own, Tony disconnected from you briefly to remove your shirt. 

He shoved you to the mattress. With a devilish grin, you scrambled to undo your laces and kick off your shoes. But, impatience growing, Tony unbuttoned your jeans and yanked the denim from your legs.

After removing your bra, you propped yourself on your knees and smirked at Stephen. Biting your lip, you tilted your shoulder forward and waited for his eyes to finally meet yours.

“Help me out, Doctor?” you hummed.

Stephen blinked a few times but ultimately succumbed to your request. Eyes focused on his, you delicately wrapped your fingers around his wrists. Steadying the tremors of his body, you carefully placed his palm to one of your breasts. 

Tony gripped the hair on the back of his head and tugged on the strands. But, tension peaking, he yanked off his shirt and crawled on the bed behind you. He leaned in and bit down on the nape of your neck. 

“I can play doctor too,” he hummed.

Instinctively, you leaned into him. But as your chest expanded with a deep breath, you pressed down on Stephen’s hand over your breast; inspiring you to redirect your attention to him.

You watched Stephen’s pupils widen as you guided his other hand between your legs. Hooking your finger under the lace, you moved it aside just enough to give him access. 

The pads of his fingers hesitated over your heated skin. But after a moment of (his) doubt, you placed your fingers over his and gently pressed to bring him to your skin.

You gasped upon contact as he felt your wetness (at least like this) for the first time.

Stephen watched your chest rise and fall as you supported him in stroking you. His other hand moved to your shoulder for stability as he leaned forward and pressed his forehead to yours. The heat of his breath mingled with yours as you whimpered under his touch.

“Does it…” You leaned your head back into the crook of Tony’s neck. “Hurt?”

“No,” Stephen breathed.

And he meant it.

You tightened your hand over his and pressed down to apply additional pressure. With his hands on your waist, Tony felt your hips jerk forward. 

“Million dollar hands,” you moaned, eyes fluttering closed.

Stephen swallowed. “They're hardly worth anything anymore.” 

“I’ll be the judge of that.” Your eyes flew open and locked with his.

“I know a million dollars,” Tony murmured onto your neck, “and what he’s doing to you doesn’t compare.”

The smile that crept across your lips was only matched the smirk on Stephen’s. But, confidence waning, he removed his hands from your body and cleared his throat.

You whined in reply. However, when Stephen couldn’t look you in the eye, you gave him a soft smile.

“Whenever you’re ready,” you whispered before turning to face Tony.

You peppered a constellation of licks, nips, and kisses along his neck. Tony groaned and leaned his head back as you unbuttoned his jeans. Freeing his length, you offered a few doting strokes before lowering yourself to all fours.

“God, yes,” Tony grunted. 

Hand steadied at the base of his shaft, you swirled your tongue over the tip. After a full breath, you lowered your mouth to take him. He cautiously jerked his hips forward until you both found a stimulating rhythm.

As Tony’s manhood continued to graze the back of your throat, a hand steadied itself on your hip. Stephen moved aside the only slip of fabric to grace your body and rested one hand on your low back.

After calculating the cadence of your body with Tony’s, Stephen drove himself into you. You choked down more of Tony than anticipated. 

But none of you complained.

With the assistance of Stephen’s thrusts, it didn’t take long for Tony to come inside you. After sucking him for all you could, he gasped and removed himself. You swallowed and wiped your lips with the back of your hand as Stephen slowed down for your moment of composure.

“Up.” Tony placed his hand on your shoulder and guided you a bit more upward. 

You draped your arms over his shoulders and leaned onto his chest. Burying your face in the crook of his neck, your breasts kissed his arc reactor. 

Tony slid his hand between your legs and took on the honored task of pleasuring you. With a symphony of grunts and groans, Stephen continued to thrust into you from behind.

Your nails dug between Tony’s shoulder blades and hopeless whimpers barely escaped your lips.

“Oh, God. I, I can’t…”

“You’re very kind, Trinity. But you can just call me Tony.”

“You dick,” you grumbled onto his neck. Stephen slammed his eyes closed in an attempt to regain focus. 

It kinda worked.

“Actually,” Tony hummed. “I think that title’s better for…”

He lowered his fingers to wrap around your entrance. Or, more accurately, to tighten around Stephen’s cock as he pumped himself into you.

“Oh God!” Stephen’s eyes flew open as he stared at the ceiling.

“You two are so generous with your praise,” Tony snickered.

“Tony!” you whined. “I was so—”

“I haven’t forgotten about you.”

He redirected his attention. After a fateful one, two, three dedicated strokes, your walls clamped around Stephen. You pulled Tony closer to you as you gulped down breaths of air. 

They exchanged a glance to the sound of your curses—or blessings. They didn’t discriminate. 

But before their gazes could linger, Stephen rode out the end of your orgasm with that of his own. He squeezed his eyes shut and tightened his grip around your hips; dismissing the slight sting that radiated up his forearms.

Breath heaving, you leaned on Tony as Stephen withdrew himself from you. You placed your hand on Tony’s chest and threw your head back.

“Not done.” You shook your head. “Definitely not done.”

Tony wrapped his hand around the back of your neck and kissed the top of your head. 

“Good. Because we...we?” He furrowed his brow at Stephen. Still recalibrating, the sorcerer gave him a bewildered nod. 

“We aren’t either,” Tony said.

You sat back on your heels and rested your palms on your thighs. 

“I’m going to clean up.”

After Tony gave you a nod, you hobbled to the bathroom.

When you closed the door, he stripped fully naked and waited to join you. But in the interim, he cocked an eyebrow and glanced at Stephen.

“Do you think I should ask her to stay this time?”

“What?” Stephen blinked firmly.

“Yeah…” Tony shook his head at the floor. “I don’t think she’s one to just listen anyway.”

After all, it was just sex. 


	6. I'll Venmo You

As your phone continued to vibrate on Tony’s nightstand, you propped yourself on your elbow to retrieve it. Leaning over, Tony’s eyes opened to the vision of your bare chest directly in his face. 

“Mornin’," he grunted.

But when you saw thirteen text messages from Scott, you bolted upright in bed. Your eyes blew wide open at the three most recent texts.

_Help!_

_SOS_

_Need you now!_

“I-I have to go.” 

You started scrambling over Tony. But Stephen flew back to his physical body and tugged on your wrist.

“Whoa, whoa,” Tony protested. “What’s wrong?”

“What did we—” Stephen started.

“Nothing, I need to, I have to get home.” 

You leaped over Tony and prowled the room for your clothes. Fumbling into your jeans, you furiously shook your head as your heart thumped within your chest.

“What happened?” Tony asked. “We can help.” 

You threw your palm to your forehead as your eyes darted around the room.

“My bra...” You shook your head and lunged for your t-shirt.

Scrambling to put on your shoes, Tony and Stephen exchanged a glance. But the sorcerer approached you and placed his hand on your shoulder.

“What can I do?”

“Just,” you gulped and glanced at the floor. “Just get me back to Scott’s. He’s, he’s in trouble.”

You snapped your gaze to Stephen’s. 

“Oh my God, he’s with Cassie today.”

Tony summoned his suit as Stephen materialized his robes. The Cloak of Levitation—having seen enough in the past two days to last it at least two centuries—draped itself over Stephen’s shoulders.

“Guys, please.” You shook your head. “Just leave this to—”

“Not a discussion, Trinity.” Tony nodded to Stephen. “Doc.”

Stephen conjured a portal to the Lang residence and you leaped through. The soles of your shoes skidded across the floorboards. 

In the living room, your eyes darted around. But you held your breath at the sight of Scott sitting across from Cassie at the coffee table. She looked up from his partially completed manicure and grinned at you.

“Daddy wants your thoughts on color psychology.”

Scott furrowed his brow at his nails. “Am I a summer or more of an autumn?”

Grinding your teeth, you stared at him as the breath returned to your lungs. Tony disarmed his helmet and Stephen’s arms returned to his side. As Scott took in the looks on your three faces, he jerked his head back and gasped.

“Oh, my...were you, were you guys in the middle of…” 

He placed his hands over Cassie’s ears and mouthed ‘S-E-X’.

“SCOTT EDWARD HARRIS LANG!” you shrieked and stomped your foot.

“Ohhh, you’re in trouble.” Cassie smiled at him.

You threw yourself to your knees and wrapped your arms around her, planting a kiss on her head. Brushing Cassie’s hair from her face, you raised your eyebrows.

“How were those pancakes?”

“Mom wouldn’t want me eating so much sugar.”

“But they were delicious?”

She bit her lip and grinned. “Yeah.”

“Good.” 

You squeezed her and stood upright. Turning to Stephen and Tony, you drew in a breath and closed your eyes.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Everyone is safe,” Stephen replied. “That’s what matters.”

Tony put his hands on his hips and tilted his head to the side. He furrowed his brow at Scott.

“I would have gone with a lighter shade.” 

“Dang it!” Scott shook his head and examined his nails. “That’s what my gut said. But I just couldn’t commit.”

“I know the feeling.” Tony smirked. 

He looked at you—or was it Stephen? Neither of you could tell—and chuckled.

“Apparently you do too.”

You rolled your eyes and groaned. “You guys don’t have to stay for—”

But your eyes widened as Tony, still in his suit, strutted to the kitchen and threw open the fridge.

“Damn, that is a shitton of polenta.” He examined the various stacks of Tupperware.

You rushed next to him and peered inside.

“You guys made it all without me?!”

Scott blew on his nails. “Boxed stuff was better than the tube.”

You groaned and slammed the door closed. 

“Hey, Daddy. Iron Man said a swear. Does that mean he has to put a quarter in the jar?” Cassie pointed to the kitchen counter. 

Furrowing his brow, Tony followed her line of sight. He snickered at the plastic milk jug that was alarmingly full. Clicking his tongue, he pointed at it with his thumb and smirked at you.

“Those are all your quarters, aren’t they?”

Stephen chuckled as you buried your face in your hand.

Grinning at Cassie, Scott leaned forward.

“You know what, Peanut, I think so.” He raised his eyebrows at Tony. “That’s two quarters if I counted correctly.”

“And we’ve got two mathematicians living here.” 

Tony patted his suit where his pockets would be. Puckering his lips, he glanced at you and cocked an eyebrow. 

“Can you break a hundred?”

“Are you kidding?”

“I am. Who carries cash anymore? You take Stark Pay?”

“It’s a plastic jug! You can’t tap it with your credit card!”

“Actually, it would be with…” He tapped his wrist. “But I can Venmo you?”

But you and Tony whipped your heads around at the clink of two coins falling into the Lang swear jar. 

“Stephen...are you, are you sure?” You narrowed your eyes at him.

“What?” He scanned the faces of everyone staring at him. “I'm, I’m not that broke. I can afford—”

“STEPHEN! WHAT DID YOU PUT IN THERE?!”

You gasped as the jug spewed coins like a fountain. The sides of the container stretched to their physical capacity, ready to burst at any moment.

“Oh, shit!” Stephen started muttering a slew of incantations.

“Another swear, Daddy!”

“Whoa, whoa, Doc.” Scott rested his hand on your shoulder. “If he’s gonna make us rich…?”

“It’s not a blessing!” Stephen grunted.

He cast a spell in a futile attempt to contain the powers of the cursed coin. But the jug broke open as coins darted all around the room. You lunged to throw yourself over Cassie but Scott’s parental instincts beat you to it. Arms wrapped around her, he rushed her out of the room.

You ducked and tried to block the oncoming onslaught of pennies, nickels, and dimes. Stephen’s spellwork was interrupted when a silver dollar pelted him between the eyes.

“GODDAMNIT!” he bellowed.

Helmet engaged, Tony positioned himself between you and the cursed change. The coins clamored against his suit as he aimed his palm at them.

“DON’T!” Stephen shouted. 

But it was too late.

Tony blasted the overflowing pile, only destroying Scott’s counter and amplifying the multiplication process.

As Stephen tried to bind the coin’s power, he glared at Tony.

“I told you not to—”

“What the hell did you put in there?!” Tony shielded you from the coins. Your powers couldn’t keep up with them even as a few fazed through you.

“The Cursed Coin of Chandraketugarh! I thought I gave it to Wong to destroy!”

“How do we stop it?” you called out.

“When it touches a coin, they multiply to drown the victim. I extinguished its powers on rupees—”

“You put a rupee in there?” Tony whipped his head around.

“The kid didn’t need to know!”

“Someone needs to FUCKING STOP THIS!” you shouted.

Tony scanned the coins and furrowed his brow. 

“FRIDAY, where is this thing?”

“I can only identify American currency and one rupee.”

Stephen grunted through gritted teeth. 

“Don’t you even think about touching it, Stark! I don’t need it multiplying an even more useless hunk of metal.”

“Useless?! At least I didn’t drop a goddamn curse on—”

“I GOT IT!” 

You held up the coin that, in all fairness, looked suspiciously like a rupee. The sea of change ceased flowing. But, as if you didn’t have enough peculiarities for that day, your eyes widened when you realized it wasn’t your hand vibrating around the coin...but the coin vibrating a good two inches above you.

“I, I didn’t know I could do that,” you breathed.

Focusing your attention, the coin rattled faster, faster, faster until the molecular structure was far too compromised. It disintegrated in your palm.

Your mouth hung open as the rubble slipped through your fingers. But after a moment, you looked at Stephen and smiled.

“It’s, um...behind your ear.” You pointed at him.

“What?” He leaned forward.

But the Cloak of Levitation plucked a dime that was tucked in the hair behind his ear. Stephen smirked and the coin in his palm.

“And you said you don’t do magic tricks.” He raised his eyebrows at you.

“Oh GOD!” Tony disengaged his helmet and waded through the two feet of change. 

Responding to the displacement, the money spilled into the hallway. Scott peered over the doorway and looked at you.

“Coast is clear?”

“Yeah, Scottie.” You rubbed the back of your neck. “Sorry about the counter.”

“What the hell did you guys do?!” Scott threw his hands into his hair.

“Another swear!” Cassie scurried out and tugged on his jeans.

“Right, Peanut. Sorry.” 

He dug into his pockets to retrieve a quarter. With a shrug, he flicked it over his thumb and the payment toppled onto the mountain.

“What are we supposed to do with this?” Scott furrowed his brow.

“I’ve got a guy.” Tony raised his hand. He glanced at the crater in the kitchen counter and grimaced. “Make that guys. I’ll send them over later today.”

He smirked at Stephen. “And since I’m cleaning up _your_ mess, you both owe me one hell of a breakfast.”

Just as Cassie opened her mouth, Tony pointed at her. 

“I’ll Venmo you.”


	7. Iron Stomach

Tony hammered down the greasiest breakfast you’d ever seen in your life. Sitting next to him at the diner booth, you exchanged a concerned glance with Stephen.

“Don’t you, um…” You rested your elbow on the table. “Have a heart condition?”

“Fixed it.” He replied through a half-chewed bite, tapping his arc reactor.

You raised your eyebrows at Stephen for back-up. But he only shrugged and passed the mug across the table. You took a sip and eyed Tony over the rim.

“You don’t have to share a coffee.” He cocked an eyebrow at Stephen. “Penny pinching?”

“We don’t need two,” you replied. 

Setting down the mug, you grimaced at Stephen.

“I normally drink it black. But do you mind if I add a bit of cream?”

“Oh, thank God,” he gasped.

“It’s pretty bad, isn’t it?” You smirked at him.

Just as you were about to pour a carton of half and half into the mug, Tony swiped the coffee from the table and took a swig. The shelf-stable creamer spilled everywhere.

“TONY!”

But your protest was useless and he sprayed the sip of bitterness in Stephen’s direction. The Cloak of Levitation raised a corner to block the sorcerer from the unwarranted attack. Yet, its reflexes weren’t quite fast enough.

“That is TERRIBLE!” Tony scowled at you.

“You chose this place,” you groaned before looking at Stephen. “Are you…”

“I’m going to clean up.” He exited the booth.

You cocked an eyebrow at Tony. “You did that on purpose.”

“It was an added benefit.”

“And you keep choosing these gross places to make him uncomfortable.”

“It’s not about him, Doc.”

“Please.” You rolled your eyes. 

“Tell me something, Trinity.” He looked you in the eye. “If I took you anywhere remotely decent, you’d run for the hills, wouldn’t you?”

“What?”

“You’re not the only one who can pick up on human behavior.”

Tony speared a sausage and waved it in your face. 

“I know you two have something going on. So if you just want to—”

“That’s not true.”

“C’mon. What was that about radical honesty?”

“I told you last night this isn’t over.”

You swiped his fork and tore into the sausage. But as quickly as it graced your tastebuds, you spat it right out. 

“Oh my God! How did you eat half of what’s on your plate?”

“Iron stomach?” He smirked. 

“From now on, we’re only going places with food fit for human consumption.”

“I second that,” Stephen replied, standing at the end of the booth.

Tony grinned at him. “Y’know, I have a dry cleaner who could take care of…”

He swirled a finger over the Cloak of Levitation. But, speaking for itself, the Cloak swatted his hand away. 

“Geez, I was just trying to help you out!” Tony protested. 

The Cloak readjusted itself on Stephen’s shoulders. 

You cleared your throat to redirect their attention.

“Since we’ll be going somewhere worthy of decent lighting, I have a favor...well, more of a requirement. And I need you to not ask me why.”

Stephen narrowed his eyes. Resting your hand on Tony’s knee, you raised your eyebrows at him.

“It mainly applies to you.”

“Anything, Trinity. You name it.”

“No photos. No social media posts. No tabloid appearances. I don’t want to appear online anywhere. Not my name, my face, nothing.”

“Geez, who did you kill?”

“My good senses since I’ve been in your bed two nights in a row.”

“I would disagree if I could. But no need to worry your pretty, brilliant head, Trinity. Took FRIDAY five hours to compile all the information I have on you. I figured you prefer to stay off the grid. Especially with that dinosaur of a phone of yours.”

“Five hours?” you scoffed.

“It’s usually five seconds.”

After a deep breath, you looked at Stephen.

“I wish I didn’t even have a phone.” He rolled his eyes. “Or a Twitter. But Wong made the account.”

“And I’m sure you hate voicing your opinions to the world, Stephen. But I must ask that none of them be about me.”

“I would never.”

“Thank you both. Now with that, let’s go somewhere less likely to induce food poisoning.”

After a full breakfast and a heated debate about the American education system—Tony “only” had two masters degrees after all—you returned home and spent the day with Scott and Cassie.

A man of his word, Tony sent a team to carry away the excess change and start a high-interest college fund for Cassie Lang. The rest of the day was filled with the rustling and hammering of the construction crew.

When you finally got Cassie to bed with a few sanitized stories about the adventures of Iron Man, you threw your back to the mattress in your own room. Relieved to be reunited with your own bed, you nestled into the covers as the one rupee stared at you in the darkness.

But your reprieve was short-lived when the edge of the bed bounced with Scott’s weight.

“Move over!” he complained.

“Alright, alright.” 

You inched across the bed to make room for him. Throwing your pillow over your face, you groaned. 

“I just want to sleep.”

“Not before you give me details!”

“Scott.” You lifted the pillow and glared at him. “I’ve been having so much sex but none of that compares to listening to those two bicker about who’s brain is bigger. Let me sleep.”

“Fine. But you owe me—”

“Nothing.”

Scott rolled his eyes. “Healthy relationships shouldn’t be purely transactional.”

“Thank you. You can sleep in here tonight if you leave me alone.” You put your pillow back under your head.

“While your mattress is firmer, I have a feeling—”

Your phone buzzed from the nightstand.

“Make it stop.” You threw your hands over your face.

Scott furrowed his brow at the caller ID.

“It says ‘The Smart One’.”

“Forward it to voicemail.”

“I’m not your assistant!” He obeyed.

But your phone refused to let you rest. As it started vibrating again you answered with a groan.

“Tony, not tonight.”

“Doc, I think I’m sick.”

“We’re not at the role-play phase of this.”

“No, really. I think I’m actually sick.”

You rolled your eyes. “What are your symptoms?”

“I’m nauseous, chills, sweating…” He paused. “Stomach cramps.”

“Wow, you’re really bad at this.”

“Because I’m actually sick!”

Scott took the phone from your hand and pressed it to his ear.

“Sounds like you’ve got food poisoning, man.”

“Give me back to the doc. Please.”

With the phone in your hand again, you cooed into the receiver.

“Okay, Tony. The doctor will be there soon.”

You ended the call and scrolled through your contacts. Near the bottom of the list, you smirked at ‘Yer a Wizard’ and hit call.

“How did you get my number?” Stephen answered.

“Some detective you are. Tony swiped our phones.”

“Right.”

“I need to talk to you. Can you meet me at his place?”

“Um, what do you—”

“Please, Stephen.”

“Alright, I’ll be there in a moment.”

With a deep breath, you closed your eyes and started counting. In twelve seconds, a portal opened in your room. From Tony’s living room, Stephen glared at you with the sickly engineer draped over his shoulder.

“I am not dealing with this by myself.”

“And I didn’t want to drive over there.” You leaped through and beamed at Scott. “My mattress is all yours tonight, Scottie.”

When the portal was closed, Stephen tossed Tony on the couch.

“Ow! Your bedside manner is terrible,” Tony pouted.

Stephen sat on the edge of the coffee table and cocked an eyebrow. 

“I’m more accustomed to splitting open people’s skulls. If you prefer—”

“Trinity,” Tony whined.

You plopped next to Stephen and rested your elbow on his shoulder. 

“What does he need, Doctor?”

“What the hell did you drink today?” Stephen narrowed his eyes at Tony.

“No!” Tony leaned over and pointed a finger. Regretting the shift in body weight, he put one hand over his stomach and groaned. “If you two are gonna, are gonna, then I can, I’m well enough to…”

But Stephen conjured a portal just as Tony leaned over and vomited, sending the rejected food to some unspoken corner of the universe.

“Get him some water.” Stephen smirked at you.

You cupped the side of his face in your hand and smiled. “Anything for you, Doctor Stephen Strange.”

“Sexy, sexy patient,” Tony panted, “in need of assistance. Nurse!”

Withdrawing a glass from the cupboard, you whipped your head around and glared at him.

“I’m a DOCTOR, you asshole.”

As you filled the glass with a pitcher from the fridge, Tony looked at Stephen with pleading eyes.

“Don’t you have some fancy make the food poisoning disappear trick up your sleeve?”

“Even if I did, I wouldn’t use it on you.”

You outstretched a hand to Tony and he barely propped himself upright. Sitting next to him, he leaned his head on your shoulder and sipped on the glass of water in your hand.

“Some iron stomach,” you chuckled.

“It was punny.”

“Yes, yes it was.” You scratched the back of his head.

“Ow, head, head hurts.”

Stephen shrugged. “Offer to open your skull still stands.”

“Alright, Stephen. I think he’s suffering enough. Thanks for your help.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“I mean, the vomit disposal was pretty convenient, but—”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Tony leaned his head back. “Incoming.”

Good thing, for your sake, Stephen was still there. He opened a portal just as Tony puked right over your lap. Helping Tony back upright, you smiled at Stephen.

“Didn’t know you made house calls.”

“I don’t.”

As you helped Tony sip on more water, Stephen rose to his feet and gave you a nod.

“I’ll be right back.”

“Per-perfect.” Tony grinned at you. “Gives us a chance to…”

But he put his hand over his stomach and groaned. Stephen conjured a basin in your lap.

“Good luck,” he said before darting through a portal and into a darkened alley. 

He strode through the street to a 24 hour drugstore. Swiping a bottle from the shelf, he tapped Tony’s credit card at the checkout counter and chuckled down the street. 

When the familiar orange sparks circled through the air, Tony whined and tucked his nose in the crook of your neck. 

“No, he’s gonna make me drink something cursed.”

Stephen entered the room. Before he had the opportunity to struggle with the lid of Tony’s salvation, you outstretched your hand and raised a brow.

“Nurse’s job to administer medication.”

You smirked.

“Of course.” He tossed you the bottle.

You threw open the lid and handed Tony two capsules. But he wrinkled his nose and leaded his head back.

“I’m not, no! What weirdass cursed floo powder is in there?”

Stephen rolled his eyes. “It’s activated charcoal, asshole.”

“Don’t pretend you haven’t thought about it.”

Stephen set Tony’s wallet on the coffee table and crossed his arms. 

“Hey.” Tony furrowed his brow. “When did you…”

“Tony.” You held up the capsules. 

With a grunt, he shifted his weight and took the pills. 

Doctors’ orders, after all. 

You and Stephen spent the rest of night administering regular doses of activated charcoal to your flirtatiously determined patient. 

When his cramps finally subsided, Tony leaned in and pecked you on the cheek. Upon your giggle, he outstretched a hand and curled his fingers inward at Stephen. 

“You too.”

Stephen’s eyes darted to you. But when you only shrugged, he cleared his throat and shook his head.

“After you use some mouthwash.”

Rising to your feet, you chuckled and brought Tony with you.

“Alright, Iron Stomach. Let’s get you to bed.”

“Sleep is for the weak,” he groaned.

“And you’re downright pathetic. C’mon.”

Stephen snickered before helping you lead Tony to his bed. The engineer collapsed on this mattress with a higher pitched whine than you thought was capable of leaving his lips.

“That wasn’t me.” He shook his head.

You exchanged an amused glance with Stephen.

“Don’t go,” Tony pouted.

Hands on your hips, you tapped your foot and grinned.

“I worked with enough convicts to satisfy half the DSM. But you are, by far, my most high maintenance patient.”

You slid in bed next to him and stroked his hair.

“Prettiest one too.” Tony tried to bat his eyelashes. But it just came off as unsynchronized, forced blinking.

“I…” Stephen drew in a breath and pursed his lips. “Didn’t talk to my patients if I didn’t have to.”

“You were a complete dick.” You raised your eyebrows at him as he positioned himself on the other side of Tony.

With a flick of his wrist, Stephen extinguished the lights. 

“Yeah…” He bit his lip. “I was.”


	8. Downright Religious

In your makeshift home-gym, you held up your fists and bounced on the balls of your feet. Scott threw a punch. But you ducked and sprang upright. 

“You’ve been a busy bee,” he teased.

“Really, Scott?”

“Hey, at least I didn’t call you a wasp.”

He pounced forward. Backed into a corner, you skidded under him. You popped up behind his back, inciting Scott to spin around and out-turn his hands.

“You’re going to have to get offensive eventually,” he chided.

You smacked him in the chin.

Scott blinked firmly and shook out his face. 

“You and Hope really should get along better than you do.”

“Maybe we’re too similar for our own good.”

“She would not like you saying that.”

“I know.”

You reeled your arm back. But Scott caught your fist in his palm.

“You’re distracted, Doc.”

“Let me go.” You squirmed.

“Let yourself go.” 

You yanked your hand from his grasp. Scott rolled his eyes.

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

“I’m not ready.”

“You’ve done it once before. You have to practice.”

“Not on you!”

Wrapping your fingers around your wrist, you glanced down and drew in a breath. 

“If something goes wrong…”

“You’re a doctor.”

“I’m a psychiatrist, not a surgeon! I can write you a prescription for some great anti-anxiety medication. But I can’t repair your hand if I can’t fully faze through it.”

“We can call Boyfriend Number Two if that makes you feel better.” 

“Scott! I’m serious.”

“Or is he Number One? I know it depends on your mood.”

“I’m going to shower.” You yanked your jacket from the table and glared at him. “And he’s not my boyfriend, Scott. You are.”

You blew him a kiss before strutting out of the room. 

“Oh c’mon!” he groaned. “Hope isn’t even here!”

Banishing the wandering thoughts of your mind, you stepped out of the shower and swallowed. Sulking to your room, you quickly got dressed and plopped on your bed. You placed your hands on your stomach and stared at the ceiling. 

On the other side of your door, Scott raised his fist to knock. He drew in a breath. But your voice interrupted his doubts.

“Come in, Scottie.”

He breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of your Ant Man t-shirt.

“You’re not mad?”

“No, I’m distracted.” You raised your eyebrows.

“That’s not fair. I wasn’t trying to...you know what I meant.”

“I know, I know.” 

Inching over on the bed, you patted the side of the mattress and Scott laid down next to you. He stared at the ceiling and swallowed.

“Luis never posted that video.”

“I knew he wouldn’t.”

“What’s on your mind?”

“It’s nothing, Scott.”

“Do you like them? For more than just—”

“It’s nothing. I promise.”

You tilted your head to the side and stared at him. Scott furrowed his brow and studied your face. But after a moment, he drew in a breath and sighed.

“Do you have plans tonight?” he asked.

“I never have plans.”

“Hey!” He raised his palms. “I don’t know how this thing works.”

“What did you have in mind, Scott?”

But when he wiggled his eyebrows, you bolted upright.

“No!” You pointed a finger at him. “I’m not playing with you again. Not after you hustled me last time.”

“What?! I did not hustle you.”

“You kicked my ass at every single Taylor Swift song. But the moment I said we should do Back in Black, you pouted and complained for fifteen minutes.”

“I forgave you for your taste in music.” He put his hand over his chest and sat upright.

“Then you obliterated me!”

“We can invite the boys so you have someone on your level?”

“I’m not playing Rock Band with Luis and Ant-tonio.”

“Not those boys.” Scott put his hands on his knees and leaned forward. “Your boys. I want to have them over for dinner.”

“What? Why?”

“I need to know their intentions.” He narrowed his eyes. “Other than destroying my countertops. Do you know how difficult it is to find a decent landlord when you’re an ex-con?”

You popped to your feet and pointed to the door. 

“Out.”

“Alright, alright! But know I won’t rest until you associate all of your favorite songs with the taste of defeat.”

He scampered out of your room.

Months after Tony's food poisoning you found yourself with your hand wrapped around the side of Stephen’s face. Your fingers slowly trailed into his hair. You tugged on the strands as your tongue traced his. He tightened his grip around your waist as your chest expanded with a deep breath.

“You’re distracted,” Stephen murmured.

Tony lifted his head from between your legs.

“I should hope so.”

“This has nothing to do with you.” Stephen glared at him.

You furrowed your brow at Stephen. 

“Scott said the same thing. Why does everyone keep saying I’m distracted?”

“You’re unfocused.”

He leaned in to kiss you again. With a gentle tilt of your hips, you gasped and nipped Stephen’s lip. You dug your nails into his back and drew him closer to you.

“He wants to have you two over for dinner,” you panted.

“I’m sure his cooking is better than Wong’s.” Stephen trailed his lips across the corner of your mouth and down your jawline. 

Closing your eyes, you tilted your head back and sucked in a breath.

“I don’t know why he’s so fascinated with you two.”

Tony rested his hand on your upper thigh and squeezed. 

“I’m doing some of my finest work, Trinity.” He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “And you’re focused on two other guys.”

“I’m sorry, Tony. I—”

But as he lowered his face again, you slammed your head to the pillow and whimpered.

Stephen scowled at him as Tony’s smirk worked to your advantage. His teeth grazed you in just the right—

“Fuck!”

You fisted the sheets.

“Mmmm, not yet,” Tony hummed. 

He maneuvered his tongue across your wetness with the expertise of a man who loved nothing more than his own goddamn mouth.

With wide eyes, you stared at Stephen as he observed your bodily reaction. He bit his lip as his gaze traversed your body. 

The way your breath quickened. How your grip on his bicep tightened. The expansion of your pupils. 

But just as his eyes requested contact from yours, you slammed your eyes closed and arched your back. 

“Jesus fucking Christ!” you gasped.

Entranced, Stephen observed you as you rocked your hips across Tony’s face. When you finally removed your hand from Tony’s hair, he propped himself up on his knees and grinned.

“Two out of three.”

Stephen cocked an eyebrow. But Tony threw himself over you, shoving Stephen out of the way in the process. He placed his palms on either side of your face and lowered his lips just above yours. 

“I’m going for the Holy Trinity. I’ll make you downright religious.”

He smirked at Stephen.

“Want a taste?” 

Stephen scowled as Tony puckered his lips. He elbowed Tony’s chest to push him aside before slotting himself between your legs. 

Tony started lazily stroking himself as Stephen aligned himself at your entrance. 

“I sense you’re more spiritual than religious.” The sorcerer smirked.

With a single thrust of his hips, he drove himself into you. You hooked your legs around his low back and brought his chest to yours.

As your back arched off the bed, Stephen panted onto your neck.

“Best two out of three. Although I’m not counting religious entities.”

He winked at Tony before redirecting all of his focus to you. His new objective was to keep you quite distracted as you wrapped your hand around Tony’s cock. The more pleasure he extracted from you meant the more he took from Tony; which was simply an added benefit at this point.

A quick study in your brief time together, Stephen found the pace and angle that your body most enjoyed when entangled with his. He was growing accustomed to the paradox of feeling completely exposed and protected when sheathed inside you.

By the time you came with him, you practically had an out of body experience.

Practically.

But, as much as you tried to access any information on the chemical compositions that could have such an effect, your brain failed to compute what could induce such a sensational experience. So, instead, you allowed yourself to enjoy the wandering of your consciousness as every nerve ending in your not-body lit ignited with pleasure. 

As your awareness drifted back to your physical form, Stephen removed himself from you with a grin that he’d wear for at least the next twenty-eight hours.

Deeming yourself a rather spiritual individual at that moment in time, you took Scott’s advice and pounced on Tony. Slamming his back to the bed, you straddled his hips and grazed yourself over his length.

“You’re always working for something, Tony.” 

Wrapping your hand along the side of his face, you leaned over to kiss him. 

“Let me take care of you for a change.”

But he could only grunt in reply as you lowered yourself onto him.

Blessed by your good graces, it didn’t take long for Tony to completely unravel underneath you. With your hands over his chest, he dug his fingernails into your hips as you carried him through his orgasm by the rhythmic command of your body.

Chest heaving, you threw your back to the bed. With a man on either side of you, you stared at the ceiling and shook your head.

“I’m going to be so sore tomorrow.”

“Can’t you, um…” Tony snapped his finger and pointed at Stephen. “Do your thing to...yeah.”

“If I could heal anyone, do you really think I’d be walking around like this.”

Stephen slowly raised his trembling hands. 

“Mmm, makes sense.” Tony patted his diaphragm. 

“I don’t need you to heal me,” you chuckled. “I’ve endured worse.”

Stephen raised his eyebrows. “Worse than us?”

“Yes, Stephen. Much worse.”

“I think we should do dinner at Scottie’s,” Tony announced.

“I never invited you.” You rolled your eyes.

“But he did.” Tony shifted onto his side and tapped your nose with the tip of his finger. “Besides, I convinced his landlord not to evict you guys.”

“After you destroyed our countertops!”

“Because he casually carries around cursed change!” Tony pointed at Stephen. “Where the hell are the pockets in those robes of yours anyway?”

Stephen dragged his hands over his face.

“I’m never going to live that down.”

“No!” you and Tony shouted. 

But before you could continue arguing with them, FRIDAY requested Tony’s attention. 

“It’s Captain Rogers. He says it’s urgent.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “This is an abuse of power. Tell him if he can wait seventy years, he can wait five more minutes.”

“I apologize. But he insists that if you don’t make your way to the conference room, he’s going to come up...regardless of what physical activities you might be engaged in.”

“Ooo, Cap is kinky.”

Tony slid out of bed and smirked at you. 

“You’re welcome to stay. I trust he can get you back home in one piece.”

After he and Stephen exchanged a glance, Tony winked and pointed a finger gun at you.

“And we’ll get those dinner plans on the calendar. At least, I’ll make plans with Hot Shot and if you just so happen to be there…”

He shrugged and left to clean up. 

When Tony was in the elevator on his way downstairs, you raised your eyebrows at Stephen. 

“Shower?”

“Oh, thank God. The water pressure is so much better here.”

He sprang to his feet and you leaned upright. Wrapping your arms around your knees, you smiled at him.

“I’ve never seen your place.”

“Didn’t think you wanted to.” He cocked an eyebrow. 

“Maybe someday.”

You shrugged and followed him into Tony’s bathroom. According to the engineer, there were some new water fixtures you just _had_ to try.

In the conference room, Natasha rested her crutches on the side of the table. She leaned back in her seat and crossed her arms. 

Steve sat across from her and dragged his hand down his face. But he groaned when Tony walked into the room. 

“I’ve been calling you for—”

“Sorry, Mom.” Tony shrugged. “Turned off my phone.”

“We have a hostage situation.” Steve slid a folder across the table.

Furrowing his brow, Tony flipped through the pages. He squinted at the papers.

“Geez, don’t these hurt your eyes?” Tony threw on his glasses.

“Solomon Power,” Steve said. “Their entire team of nuclear scientists was abducted two hours ago.”

Tony cocked an eyebrow. “They were ordered to shut down their nuclear research.”

“Guess it didn’t take.”

“You know what that’s like.”

“The compound is nearly impenetrable,” Natasha added. “Round the clock watch by a team of top tier mercenaries.”

Steve cleared his throat. “With Nat’s broken leg…”

“Hey, I won that bet fair and square.” She pointed at him.

“We’re a little low on manpower.” Steve rubbed his hands over his knees. “So if you have any alternative ideas on how we safely extract—”

Tony narrowed his eyes at the schematics. He yanked off his glasses and looked at Steve with wide eyes.

“This is a government black site,” Tony said.

Pursing his lips, Steve’s gaze flickered to Tony. He gave him a single nod.

“So we’re totally on our own with this.” Tony raised an eyebrow. “Hence…”

He waved the physical file in the air.

“Yup.” Steve popped the ‘p’.

“Did you ever think that maybe these guys did something to deserve this?”

“Torturing them into creating military-grade weapons is unacceptable no matter what this team has or hasn’t done.” 

After staring at Steve for a moment, Tony sucked in a breath and sighed.

“And you and I are supposed to extract twelve hostages from this labyrinth of a deathtrap? Why don’t you just call the wizards to...”

He traced a circle through the air.

“I already contacted them,” Natasha answered. “At least, the one who isn’t a complete prick. He said the site is completely warded against their magic. I have a feeling they knew we’d be coming.”

“So, short of being able to walk through walls…” Steve shrugged.

Tony withdrew his phone and snickered.

“Man...you so owe me for this.”


	9. Worthy of Redemption

With blood spattered across your face and generously coating your hand, Scott flung you onto the couch. You vacantly stared at the television, body buzzing with anxiety. He turned to Tony and threw out his hands.

“I knew she shouldn’t have gone on this half-baked mission!”

“I didn’t, shit.”

Tony disengaged his helmet. Next to you, he bent down on one knee and raised his eyebrows.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“What kind of a stupid question is that?” Scott shouted. “Of course she’s not okay!”

“I mean, are you hurt?” Tony rephrased.

But when you didn’t reply, he rose to his feet and shook his head. Scott threw his hands in his hair and paced the room. 

“She wasn’t ready for this! She told us she wasn’t ready!” 

He crouched in front of you and tentatively rested his hands on your knees.

“What can I do to help?” Scott pleaded your name. “I’ll do anything. I just need to know what you need.”

You looked at him with wide eyes and slowly shook your head.

“Scottie,” you hiccuped. “I need a doctor.”

Scott looked at Tony, who was already rolling his eyes.

“I’m on it,” he grumbled. 

Two hours earlier, you were standing outside of a building that, according to the United States Government, didn’t exist. You tapped your fingers along the side of your leg.

“Scott, I don’t know if I can do this.”

Ten millimeters tall on your shoulder, he patted the edge of your kevlar vest. You didn’t trust yourself to carry the full weight of a suit...even if you had one.

“Relax, Doc. It’s going to be just like the time we broke in to grab after-hours tacos.”

“Scott, we were drunk off our asses.”

“Yeah, Hank fined me for unauthorized use of the suit. It’s my suit! Kinda...Can he even do that?”

“How much was it?”

“Guys,” Steve grunted as a man lost consciousness in his chokehold. “This is an open line. Chatter is a bit distracting.”

“Ease up, Lab Rat,” Tony chirped. “They’re doing fine.”

“Sorry, Cap.” Scott gave a salute that no one could see. “All I’m trying to say is that if you can get us through a wall in that condition, you’ll be golden right now.”

Steve shook his head as the body dropped to the floor. 

“Yeah, Tony. I’m just used to working with professionals...and you.”

“Damn, didn’t think you had it in you, Old Ma—”

“TONY!” Steve shouted.

The sound of an explosion blasted through your intercom. 

“What?” Tony snickered. “We’re the distraction. I’m distracting.”

“I was trying to...oh, fuck it.” Steve began his assault on the small army of mercenaries.

Scott bounced on the balls of his feet and tugged on the collar of your shirt.

“Alright, it’s showtime.”

“Scott, if anything goes wrong…”

“I’m right here.”

“But if you get to your full size, I don’t think I can faze you through anything. I’m not, I haven’t done that much…”

“Trinity, you got this,” Tony said. “Now go burgal this black site. Just for people instead of weaponized tech this time.”

“I’m not a criminal!”

“You know what I mean.”

Sucking in a breath, you took a tentative step forward. According to the schematics, Tony deemed this point of entry the quickest way for you to access the ‘center of the tootsie roll’ as he so eloquently stated.

You fazed your head through the wall and peered down the hallway, attracting the curious attention of three guards. 

“Oh shit!” You yanked yourself back.

“Tag me in, Coach!” Scott shouted.

“You sure?” 

“I got this.”

Scott leaped into your hand and you fazed him through the wall. Jumping to the floor, he skirted through the hallway to lure the attention of the mercenaries. You ran along the side of the wall and, on his cue, fazed through to the other side.

You raised your eyebrows at the three unconscious men.

“Don’t worry.” Scott waved his hand through the air. “They’re just napping.”

You and Scott fazed through three more hallways as Tony and Steve took the brunt of the firepower on the other side of the building. With your back to your final wall, you shook your head and sucked in a breath.

“How close are you guys?”

“We’re right about...hold on,” Steve replied.

But, with your ear to the wall, you heard a variety of shouts and screams from the other side. Heart hammering inside your chest, you fazed through with Scott on your shoulder.

And came face to face with the barrel of a gun.

“You’re new on the scene.” The gunman smirked. “We didn’t anticipate a ghost.”

From behind his back, Tony yanked the door off the hinges. He raised his palm to fire just as Scott readied himself to leap from your shoulder.

But neither of them were fast enough for the trigger pull.

Your pupils blew wide open as the bullet flew right between them. Hurdling through your skull and brain matter, the bullet pierced the wall behind you. After a few firm blinks, you stared at the man as your mouth hung open.

“You, you just shot me!”

The man’s eyes darted from his gun to your face; all color draining right as you reeled your arm back and throat punched him. 

Except your hand didn’t stop at the surface of his skin.

Cells vibrating, you fazed into his neck. But they ground against his innards in a way you never experienced before. 

The man dropped his gun and started shrieking, grappling for a wrist he could not grab. Blood, muscle, and tissue spewed from him like a fountain.

“SCOTT!” you screamed.

“Oh, that is NASTY!” He shielded his eyes.

The hostages cringed, cowered, and watched the affair through cracks in their fingers. The rest of the mercenaries were stunned just enough for Tony and Steve to eliminate them.

“MAKE IT STOP!” you begged.

“Okay, calm down,” Scott soothed. “WE HAVE TO STAY CALM!”

“NOT HELPING!”

“I’m sorry! But I didn’t know you could turn into a human meat grinder!”

“ME NEITHER!”

But Tony planted a firm grip on your shoulders, avoiding Scott between his fingers, and yanked you away from the man’s neck. Long dead, the body collapsed to the floor. Your hand stopped vibrating as Tony shook his head from behind you.

“You’re never putting a finger in me.”

Now, you sat on the couch as Stephen took a seat next to you. He rested his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands.

“You didn’t mean to,” he reassured.

“Stephen, how could I...I’m not a killer.”

You closed your eyes and drew in a breath.

“I know. It’s even harder since...” He looked down. “I, I’ve killed someone too.”

You stared at him with wide eyes.

“Self defense.” He raised his hands. “Never with malicious intent. But it’s an unfortunate necessity of the job. For your own safety.”

“I never even wanted this job.” You shook your head.

“Me neither.”

“Or me.” Scott raised his hand.

“But you made it out alive,” Stephen said. “And you got everyone else out too.”

“We did.” Tony tapped his chest with a hollow echo. “We got everyone out. Teamwork and whatnot.”

Scott shook a finger and took a step toward him. 

“Oh, no, no. Don’t you dare make this about you. She survived that gunshot by sheer dumb luck.”

“Gunshot?” Stephen snapped his gaze to Tony.

“She said she wasn’t ready.” Scott put his hands on his hips and shook his head. “And I didn’t listen. That’s on me. But you...you pushed and you pushed because you just can’t take no for an answer, can you?”

Tony leaned back with wide eyes. But you rose your feet and swallowed.

“Scott,” you warned.

“No! I’m not letting this guy touch you ever again! He’s used to getting everything he wants, whenever he wants. Well, he can’t have you. You’re not another trophy to add to his collection.”

Tony raised his hands and took a few steps forward. 

“Look, man. I know. I shouldn’t have—”

“Don’t ‘look, man’ me.” Scott scowled. “We are not brothers. But her? She’s family. And you are not good enough for her. Even with all your fancy—”

“Don’t you think I know that?” Tony scrunched his face. “I’m stunned she even bothers to look at me. And I’m completely convinced the only reason she jumps in bed with me is to put her hands all over him. I’m just a third wheel to whatever they’ve got going on.”

He jutted his hand in Stephen’s direction. 

Wrinkling his nose, Scott put his hands on his hips. 

“Well, we’re in agreement then. You and I might have to have a working relationship when absolutely necessary. But you are done with her. No missions or any other extracurricular activities.” 

“Scott, lay off him.” You set your hand on his shoulder.

“You almost died.” He turned to you. “What would I...how would I tell Cassie what happened to you?”

“I’m sure I could recommend a book.”

“This isn’t a joke.”

“I know, Scottie. But give me a moment with good ol’ Iron Man? Please.”

Rubbing the back of his neck, he looked at the floor and shook his head. 

“I’m so sorry. I should have listened to you.”

“I’m fine. We’re fine. Why don’t you get Stephen’s thoughts on that card trick thing?”

Stephen furrowed his brow. “I don’t…”

But he sucked in a breath when you raised your eyebrows at him. Rubbing his hands over his knees, Stephen rose to his feet and grimaced at Scott.

“I’m not a consultant.”

“I’m trying to throw them across a window. But I can’t...I just have to show you. My dexterity isn’t great.”

“Neither is mine.” 

Stephen rolled his eyes as he followed Scott. You mouthed ‘thank you’ to both of them as they sulked out of the room.

“Tony.” You looked at him with somber eyes.

“I can go. I can just go.”

“Get out of your suit.”

“Did you hear what he just said?” Tony pointed to the doorway. “I’m not taking another verbal beating from Ant Man of all people.”

“I heard that!” Scott shouted.

“Tony,” you repeated. “Your suit.”

Grumbling to himself, Tony shed the identity of Iron Man and became just a man once again. You rinsed your hands in the sink and briskly dried them on a hand towel. 

Returning to Tony, you outstretched your hand and placed it to his chest. Narrowing the distance between you, you drew in a breath and looked into his eyes.

Tony stared at your hand on his chest as you placed the other on his shoulder with a firm grip. He tentatively put his hands on your hips as you leaned in. Grazing your lips across his cheek, you whispered in his ear. 

“I’m okay.”

“No thanks to me.” He shook his head.

“Listen to me.”

He drew in a breath. 

“Close your eyes,” you murmured. 

As he obliged, you did the same and gently smiled.

“You are safe—”

“Of course I—”

“You are worthy. You are loved.”

Tony jerked his head back. “Are you telling me—”

“Listen. Just listen.”

You drew him closer to you and took a deep breath. Tony’s muscles tightened as the gentleness of your voice drifted through his ears. But, even as much as he wished he might float with you, he couldn’t close his eyes again. Not yet at least.

“You’re a good man, Tony Stark. Not just a brilliant man or talented man. But a good one. And I want you to hear, I want you to know that you are good enough.”

“I don’t, I don’t under—”

You placed your hands on either side of his face and smiled, inviting him into your gaze with a gentle expression.

“You’re good enough. There is nothing wrong with you.”

He glanced down and shook his head. “I have a feeling you say this a lot.”

“Tony.” You redirected his attention back to you. “You are worthy of redemption. Forgive yourself for the crimes you did and did not commit. Let go of what you are still punishing yourself for.”

He covered his eyes and choked a few syllables. 

“I-I’m so sorry.”

“I know, Tony.” You wrapped your arms around him, clutching the nape of his neck. “I know.”


	10. It's Curry Night

Everything was different from that day forward. You weren’t having sex but you certainly weren’t dating. So you weren’t really sure what the fuck you were doing. 

By God’s good graces, you managed to convince Scott it wouldn’t hurt to get a suit from Tony (and actually practice using it). It was the only interaction Scott “allowed” you to have with the engineer. And you allowed him to allow you.

Whether you liked it or not, you were a part of this world now. Maybe you could help even more people than with a private practice that moved across the country like a traveling circus. 

With you as the star freak show. 

Tony grew fascinated with your powers. Much to Scott’s chagrin, you spent an increasing number of hours at the workshop.

When you first agreed to meet Tony, he avoided your gaze with the conviction of a heartbroken man. But a sparkle of light returned to his eyes when you pecked him on the cheek and smiled.

“How does all this work?” you asked. 

“You, um, you show me.”

With a gentle laugh, you extended your hand and started vibrating. Now studying your body through a scientific lens—Tony felt infinitely more confident in this mode around you anyway—he lowered his eye level to your palm and furrowed his brow.

“You said you’ve been doing this since you were a kid?” 

Ceasing your movements, you shoved your hands in the back pockets of your jeans and glanced down. 

“Um, yeah.”

Leaning back on a stainless steel desk, Tony crossed his arms and nodded at you.

“What’s the real story?”

“That is the real story.”

“Bullshit.”

“I woke up one day being able to move through physical objects. They didn’t really talk about it in school and when I almost got my finger stuck in a wall, I stopped using them all together. It wasn’t until I saw Scott on the news that I thought maybe he could help me understand what was wrong with me.”

“Wrong with you?”

“You know what I mean.”

“No.” Tony shook his head and stood upright. “I don’t. Please explain.”

But his eyes widened when you yanked your jacket from the back of a lonely chair and started stomping away from him.

“Hey, hey.” His fingers grazed your wrist.

You spun around and jabbed a finger toward his face.

“No. We’re not doing this.”

“Doing what?”

“Where you try to get me to open up to you because we shared one moment of vulnerability. If you’re going to pull this shit on me, I’m just going to leave this up to Scott. He’ll be relieved anyway.”

“You’re not used to this are you? You’re used to being on the other side of the couch...or whatever they sit on.”

“Tony. I am not going to say this again. I’m not doing this with you. Are you here to work or play doctor?”

“I got a PhD. So you call me doctor now.”

“When the fuck did you get your doctorate?”

“Last night.” He shrugged. “Microbiology. Not really my thing. But I thought it could be helpful for—”

“You felt left out?”

“Yeah, okay. I felt left out.”

Rolling your eyes with a scoff, you flung your jacket over his shoulder as you wrapped your arms around his neck. Drawing Tony closer, you narrowed your eyes and smirked.

“Are you actually going to get to work? Or spend the rest of the afternoon trying to impress me?”

“I don’t need to try to impress you, Trinity. You just can’t help being impressed.”

He leaned in until you felt the warmth of his breath on your lips. Capturing his gaze, you tightened your grip around him and smiled.

“Sure, whatever lies you tell yourself, Tony Stark.”

He placed his hand over his chest as you spun around. Returning your jacket to it’s designated chair, you gave him a wink…

...And got to work.

That evening, you fumbled through the front door and tossed your jacket and keys aside. 

“Is the canned stuff good enough?” Scott asked from the kitchen.

But your eyes blew wide open at the voice that replied.

“No, use this.”

You bolted to the kitchen to see Stephen, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, handing Scott a container of viscous white liquid. Narrowing his eyes, Scott examined it closer to his eye level.

“Freshly pressed coconut milk,” Stephen said.

With the slightest upturn of a smirk, he glanced at you and your hanging jaw. After snapping it shut, you shook your head.

“What are you doing here?” 

“Curry night!” Scott beamed at you.

You narrowed your eyes at Stephen. “You’re here to...make curry with us?”

“No,” he corrected. “I’m here to make curry with Scott.”

“And me!” Luis called out. He floated into the kitchen with the Cloak of Levitation around his shoulders.

You threw out your hands. “What the fuck is happening?!” 

“C’mon.” Stephen nodded to the Cloak. “You’re freaking her out.”

But the Cloak tugged Luis farther away from the sorcerer.

“Y’know.” Luis put his hands on his hips. “You could do a better job of appreciating him...him?”

The Cloak shook its collar.

“It?”

It gave Luis a nod.

“It. You could do a better job of appreciating it.”

Stephen rolled his eyes with a sigh. 

“Could you two _please_ at least help with dinner?”

Scott took a whiff of the coconut milk. “Dude! Where did you get this from?”

“Nepal.” Stephen shrugged. “There’s this elderly woman who—”

You stomped your foot. “Stephen. Why are you here?”

“As I said...to make dinner.”

“I’m not, no,” you stammered. “This isn’t...LUIS!”

With the assistance of the Cloak, Luis flew upward to examine the top of the refrigerator. He spun around with a small glass jar in hand.

“I knew we had it!”

He handed the unopened curry paste to Scott.

Glaring at Stephen, you stomped to your room.

“I’ll talk to her.” Scott smirked, wiping his hands against each other as he handed off the stirring responsibilities to the sorcerer. 

In your room, you flung your back to the mattress and threw your hands over your face. You glanced through a crack in your fingers as the weight of the bed shifted. 

“Someone’s grumpy,” Scott chided. “Sure you aren’t just hungry?”

“Go away.”

“You should at least try it. The recipe he brought looks like it could disintegrate in your hands. But I mean, just smell it.”

You slammed your pillow over your face and groaned. Scott threw up his hands and shook his head. 

“Or don’t! Okay. You do whatever you want. Geez. You’ve been on edge.”

You threw the pillow aside and narrowed your eyes. 

“He’s just using you two to get to me.”

“Well, I thought that was obvious.”

“But that’s, no! Not okay!”

“Trust me, Doc. We’re milking it...quite literally.”

“He was supposed to be gone by now.”

Furrowing his brow, Scott looked at you with sad eyes.

“Do you want him to leave?” he asked.

“No, I just—”

But you whipped your head around at a knock on the door. Popping to his feet, Scott opened the door and peered through the crack. 

“I don’t think she—” he started. 

“Let him in, Scottie.”

“Alright.” Scott stepped aside and traded places with Stephen. “But this door stays _open._ ”

He pointed between the two of you before scurrying to the kitchen. You rolled your eyes and swung your legs over the bed. Elbows on your knees, you clasped your hands and leaned forward. 

“Could you be any more obvious?”

Stephen smirked. “I don’t like polenta.”

“You are so annoying.”

“I helped Scott with that card trick. His index finger was—”

“A little to the left? He told me.”

Biting his lip, Stephen swallowed and looked down. 

“So you and Tony…”

You closed your eyes and threw your head back. “Oh my God. This is even worse. You’re just jealous.”

“I don’t get jealous.”

“He got a PhD.”

“He what?!”

But Stephen shook out his face to recompose his expression. You raised your eyebrows with a smirk.

“Are you impressed?” you asked.

Stephen gritted his teeth with wide eyes. After a begrudging moment, he shrugged. 

“Maybe.”

“Maybe you can make him curry then.” You rose to your feet and crossed your arms. “What do you want?”

“I missed you.”

“Oh, get out,” you groaned. 

“I’m being serious.”

“Stephen, we’re not—”

“Dating. I know.”

“Doing this. We’re not doing this.”

“And this is?”

You spun him around and patted his chest. 

“Enjoy dinner, Stephen. I think Scott just burnt it.”

“But I don’t—”

“OH SHIT!” Scott yelped from the kitchen.

You shoved Stephen across the threshold and slammed the door shut. 

Slumped on his couch, Tony examined his whiskey with glassy eyes as it circled, circled, circled around in his…

Goddamn. Why wasn’t he drinking this?

He downed the remaining alcohol in a single swallow.

With a grunt, Tony fumbled for his phone. He threw on his glasses. But he still couldn’t...couldn’t see the…

“FRIDAY,” he whined. “Call...call Trinity?”

Did she...did she just laugh at him? He’s pretty sure she just laughed at him.

“Tony?” the other line answered.

“You’re not, what happened to your voice?”

“Are you wasted?” Stephen asked.

“No! I’m just thinking about you.”

Stephen raised his eyebrows.

“And sex,” Tony continued. “Because we should, y’know, we should…”

Stephen dialed you into the call.

“Stephen, you ass. You guys ate all the curry.”

“TRINITY!” Tony threw his head back. “Did the wizard teach you how to double yourself? Because I admit that I’ve thought about—”

“Are you wasted?” you asked.

“Is that a doctor question? I can ask the doctor question too. Are, are you wasted?”

“What are you doing right now?” Stephen cleared his throat.

“I’m fucking—”

“WHO?” Tony asked.

“Your long lost love. No, Tony. I’m fucking starving because Stephen decided to be a master chef. Which, by the way, I swear you turned back time on that curry.”

“What? I wouldn’t break natural law. Even to salvage your roommates’ shoddy work. Honestly, how does someone burn something that quickly? I’m pretty sure he has a Time Stone.”

“Trinity.” Tony clicked his tongue. “How hungry are you?”

“I’m looking for a nice piece of meat to shove in my mouth.”

Stephen stifled a laugh as he imagined Tony’s face.

“I, I got a nice something for you.” Tony bit his lip.

“Better be bloody,” you snickered.

“What?!”

“Steak or a burger?” Stephen asked.

“I honestly don’t care at this point. I’m just walking to a—”

But you snapped your jaw shut as you walked right through a portal and into the New York Sanctum.

“Sorry about dinner.” Stephen held up a bowl of curry, other hand still holding the phone to his ear.

“Hey, hey,” Tony protested. “I thought dinner was, limits. Off limits.”

Stephen shrugged. “But it’s really your fault. You should have just eaten with us.”

You rolled your eyes and started marching toward the door. But you were suddenly in the kitchen. Although you were still scowling at Stephen.

He set the bowl on the island and pointed to it.

“Eat. Doctor’s orders.”

Tony groaned, “I’m still—ooo, sparkles.”

Stephen yanked him from his couch.

With perfect coordination (at least it was perfect in his mind), Tony fumbled over to the barstool next to you. He raised his eyebrows at the bowl and you all set down your phones.

“Don’t mind if I doing.” He reached out with his index finger.

“Hey!” Stephen barked. “Wait for your own damn bowl.”

Wong popped his head around the doorway.

“Are you cooking?”

“No!” Stephen snipped.

With a smirk, Wong nestled in the seat next to you. He nudged your side and raised his eyebrows.

“He doesn’t do it often. But when he does…” Wong tilted his head to the side. “So you’re the one he’s been—”

“Wong, don’t you have a demon to exorcise?” Stephen crossed his arms.

“Nah, can wait ‘til tomorrow.”

“Sounds import-portant,” Tony hiccuped. “Hey, Doc. You got anything to drink ‘round here?”

But he frowned at the tea that appeared in front of him.

“That’s not what I ordered.”

“Your liver did,” Stephen scoffed.

“Tony.” You cocked an eyebrow at him. “Just how much did you drink? You know how to handle your alcohol.”

“You, you don’t want to know.”

He leaned over and rested his hand on your knee. 

“You wanna not get dinner sometime?”

Wong’s gaze snapped to Stephen, who observed the interaction with a composed expression.

With a fake smile, you patted the side of Tony’s face.

“You are trashed.”

“Dad? No, trashed. You said trashed. I can still...y’know.”

You slid your bowl of curry in front of Tony and drew in a breath. With a scrutinizing gaze, he dipped his index finger in the mixture and threw it in his mouth.

“Can you not?” Stephen scowled at him.

“Stephen is impressed with your doctorate,” you hummed.

“‘ee is?” Tony whipped his head upward, finger hanging from his mouth.

Stephen glared at Wong as he stifled a giggle.

“Nothing, nothing.” Wong waved his hand through the air. “Just a, just a demon joke.”

“Oh! I’ve got one.” Tony threw himself over the counter. 

You barely saved the bowl of curry from soaring over to Stephen’s robes.

“A demon possessed a serial killer…” Tony stared at Wong with wide eyes.

Pursing your lips, you hopped off the bar stool and started walking to the foyer. Stephen appeared in front of the door and outstretched his hands.

“I shouldn’t have used Scott and Luis.”

“I’m pretty sure they were the ones using you.”

“I guess should have expected just as much from a few criminals.”

“Reformed ex-cons.”

Stephen glanced down and shook his head.

“I’ll, I’ll leave you alone now. I can, what would you call it? Respect boundaries.”

But you and Stephen snapped your gazes to Tony and Wong as they chuckled themselves into the foyer. Arm draped around Wong’s shoulders, Tony patted his chest and grinned.

“Run for your life!” Wong howled in laughter, smacking his knee.

Stephen narrowed his eyes. “You’ve never laughed at my jokes like that.”

“Your jokes have never been this funny.”

Tony pointed a finger gun at Wong and transferred his arm to your shoulder. He raised his eyebrows at Stephen and clicked his tongue.

“Master bedroom in this place has gotta be schhhweeeet.”

“Tony.” You shook your head. “We’re not having sex.”

“You and me? Or you and him?”

Wong started backing away. “I’m going to exorcise that demon now.”

He retreated to the kitchen to finish your uneaten, but not untouched, curry.

Stephen drew in a breath and sighed. “She was just leaving.”

“Doc, don’t go.” Tony hung himself from your upper body. “I promise to behave...or misbehave. What’re you in the mood for?”

He nipped your neck.

Stephen yanked him from your body. Eyelids fluttering, Tony spun around and latched his palms to either side of Stephen’s face.

“And you.” 

Tony pecked him on the lips.

“And you.”

He wrapped his hands around your face and planted a kiss.

Leaning back, Tony pointed his finger between you and Stephen.

“Who’d I miss?”

“I think you.” You cocked an eyebrow.

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you leaned in and pressed your lips to his. You could taste the alcohol from him as you traced his tongue with yours.

After you pulled away, he turned to Stephen and held out his hands.

“Lay it on me, Doc.”

Rolling his eyes, Stephen gave Tony a quick peck. But Tony shook his head and wrinkled his nose.

“Nope, anyone who, who kisses me is one, lucky and two, gonna do it like they mean it.”

You shrugged as Stephen looked at you with a deadpan expression. With a groan, he wrapped his hand around the back of Tony’s neck and leaned in.

“You better drink enough to forget this,” Stephen breathed.

He pressed his lips to Tony’s, quelling the surprise in his mind. As Tony demanded entrance into Stephen’s mouth—damn, he was insistent—Stephen locked away the tightness in his chest, storing it away with the rest of the feelings he preferred not to unpack.

Tony jerked his head backward and smacked the side of Stephen’s face.

“Never forgetting that one, Doc.”

He spun around and hovered his hands over your cheeks. 

“And you.”

“No, no, no, Tony.” You placed your hand to his chest as he leaned in. “I think you’ve had enough for tonight.”

You gave Stephen a gentle smile and wrapped your fingers around the door handle.

“I’ll see you both later. Enjoy your curry, Tony.”

“There’s curry?”

He redirected his gaze to you as you blew a kiss and walked out the door.


	11. 411, This is Tony Stark

Driving Scott’s car, you patted the heels of your palms across the steering wheel. Bobbing your head to the beat, you shimmied your shoulders and mouthed along to the lyrics.

“You got me ringing hell's bells. My temperature's high, hell's bells.”

But you jerked your head back at the engine's temperature gauge.

“Oh, no. Not good, not good.”

The only car on the road, you pulled over as quickly as you could; grimacing at the ice cream cake in the passenger seat. Yanking out your phone, you called Luis. 

Then called him again.

And called him again.

But upon reaching his voicemail for the fourth time, you leaned your head back and huffed out a breath. You popped the hood and dragged yourself out of the driver’s seat.

Examining the engine, you bit your lip at the sight of smoke. Before you could process the repercussions of your actions, your thumb dialed and waited for an answer.

“Didn’t expect to hear from you today,” Tony chirped.

“Better work on your deduction skills, Sherlock.”

“Wow, you have been cranky recently.”

“I’m sorry!” You stomped your foot and pressed your palm to your forehead. “I just, I need your help.”

“Ohhh, is that so?”

“Oh my god, I’m so not in the mood for this. I’m on an errand for Scott’s surprise party and his car is smoking and—”

“Oh, I gotcha.” He clicked his tongue to play along. “What’s the _temperature_ reading?”

“Tony! I am not role playing. His car is literally smoking and I need your help!”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

“There’s an ice cream cake in the passenger seat. I had one thing to do for Scott’s surprise party—”

“Oh my God, you aren’t kidding.”

“Tony...Can you please just…”

“So it’s Hot Shot’s birthday…”

“I just said—”

“And you’re throwing him a surprise party.”

“Not me, but yeah.”

“And you need my help? Even though you clearly missed sending my invitation.”

“Tony, you can have this entire ice cream cake if you just—”

“What flavor? Nevermind, I’m heading over.”

“Thank you, I’m at—”

“Already got your location, Trinity. See you in five.”

After hanging up the phone, you paced around the car; jerking your head away from the passenger window to avoid the sight of the disintegrating cake. 

But, true to his word, Tony didn’t make you suffer in purgatory for long as he raced to your lonely street corner. Three minutes after you ended the call, he pulled up across the street.

Stepping out of his car, he wiped his hands and clicked his tongue.

“This is quite the demotion. But to help a damsel in distress…”

“Don’t you start on me.” You pointed a finger. 

But when Tony was next to you, the heaviness in your shoulders melted even though you clenched your jaw. Hands on your hips, you bit your lip and glanced down.

“Thank, thank you for coming. I know you’re busy.”

“Only busy saving the world. But it can wait until next Saturday.” He shrugged. “Besides, there’s ice cream cake at stake.”

You gestured to the engine and shook your head. “I just, I don’t know what’s wrong with it. All I know is that something is overheating and—”

“It’s a good thing you pulled over.” Tony tilted his head to the side. “Serpentine belt’s worn. Easy fix.”

After a deep breath, you pulled out your flip phone and dialed three numbers.

“Thank you,” you whispered. “I’ve got it from here.”

“Whoa, whoa.” Tony took your phone and hung up. “You calling 911?”

“411, genius. I’m trying to find the nearest auto parts—”

Tony buried his face in his hands and shook his head. 

“Oh, Trinity. There are so many things wrong with that sentence. Except the genius part, which is true.”

“Tony,” you groaned.

“First off, it’s not 2008. And secondly, why are you calling me if you won’t let me finish the job?”

“Figured this was below your pay grade. It’s fine. I really appreciate you coming to help me out. Honestly. I’ll send you an ice cream cake—”

With your phone still in hand, Tony rested his hands on your shoulders and raised his eyebrows. 

“I can get you out of here a lot faster than any auto parts store. How were you planning on learning how to replace that belt?”

But when you sucked in a breath and bit your lip, Tony put your ancient phone in your palm and threw on his sunglasses. He strutted to his car as you kicked a fascinating pebble on the ground.

Jostling through the trunk, Tony set aside a lamp, half-unpacked—or was it packed?—suitcase, and twelve packets of freeze-dried blueberries. He returned to you with a mysterious, metallic putty in his hand. 

“Hold this.” 

You outstretched your palm. But he jerked his away and shook his head. 

“Promise me you won’t let your technophobe vibes break it.”

“My vibes?”

He smacked the putty to your hand. Just as you were about to poke it, he whipped his head around and pointed a finger.

“Just hold onto it.”

“Alright, alright.”

Tony checked the tensioner and examined the pulleys and rollers. But determining the malfunction was normal wear and tear, he removed the worn serpentine belt and snatched the putty from your hand. 

He pulled out his phone.

“Hey FRIDAY, I need a serpentine belt for a…”

He cocked an eyebrow at you. 

“2001,” you grumbled.

“2001 Honda CRV.”

With a smirk, Tony set the putty on the pulley and it configured its shape to create a virtually indestructible serpentine belt. You raised your eyebrows and sucked in a breath.

“Tony, this car is a piece of shit. That stuff is worth like, ten times as much as this thing.”

“More like two hundred. But I couldn’t leave you high and dry. You have a, uh…”

He peered in the passenger window and grimaced.

“I can help you with the parts. But that ice cream cake is done for.”

A whine escaped your throat. Tony could practically see your heart descending to the cement.

“Hey, hey.” He stroked your shoulders. “It’s just cake.”

“Hope is never going to let me live this down.”

“So you two, you got some rivalry going on?”

“No, it’s not a rivalry. We just don’t...click well.”

“How can I help?”

“Tony, this is really dumb. Honestly, I don’t know why I called you. You should get back to, you know, saving the world.”

“I’ll ask one more time. How can I help?”

You bit your lip and glanced down. “Just get back to your day. I’ve got this.”

“FRIDAY, send an ice cream cake to the Lang residence. Make it unnecessarily big. But, you know...don’t make Trinity look like she’s compensating or anything.”

“Tony!”

“Any particular flavor preference?” FRIDAY asked.

“Cookies and cream,” you mumbled. 

“D’ya get that?” Tony raised his eyebrows.

“It’ll be there in ten minutes,” she replied.

Shaking your head, you gulped and put your hands in your back pockets. Tony slammed the hood of Scott’s car shut and wiped his hands together.

“Thank you, Tony.” You bit the inside of your cheek. “I mean it. You really saved my ass.”

“Infinitely worth saving.”

A slight smirk ghosted across your lips as you glanced at him. 

“Okay, I should get back so I can hide in my room for the rest of the day.”

He snickered and cocked an eyebrow. “You weren’t even going to attend the party?”

“I mean, I’d try. But I usually end up hanging out in my room. Scott and I can go out later.”

“So if you weren’t planning on going...perhaps I can send you off in a much better mood?”

“Honestly Tony, I’m fine. I should just get back.”

“You’ve been cranky recently.”

“Why is everyone saying that?!”

“See?” He held out his hands. “Cranky.”

“I really appreciate you putting the latest piece of Stark Tech in Scott’s lemon. But I’m fine. I don’t know why everyone is so—”

But Tony yanked on your wrist and pulled you into a kiss. It took a moment, but the tension in your muscles melted under his touch. As he teased your tongue with his, Tony slid his hands into your back pockets and you wrapped your arms around his neck.

He leaned back and grinned.

“I plan on invoicing him for that.”

“He signed up for Stark Pay.”

“I can put him on a payment plan. Wholesale discount. Y’know, for the birthday boy.”

As you reconnected your lips with his, Tony hooked his fingers under your thighs and set you on the hood of the car. You wrapped your legs around his hips and narrowed the space between you, lifting his sunglasses to the top of his head.

“I think…” He continued to kiss you. “You’ve been a little…”

“Don't you say it.”

He pulled away and turned out his hands.

“Then again, you said you had it covered from here.”

Hands on the car, you hung your head and gasped as he started walking back to his car.

“Tony, I swear to God.”

“But if you need an overly qualified mechanic, you’ll call me? If that dinosaur phone can keep up?”

Tony raised his fingers to his ear to mimic a phone and backed into the empty street. You popped down from the SUV and stomped toward him.

“Tony fucking Stark!”

“Oh, got you all riled up, Doc?”

His back pressed against the side of his car and he smirked. Clenching your jaw, you leaned in and narrowed your eyes.

“I’m not, I’m not in a mood!” you snipped. “And definitely not because, because of…”

“You might be an expert at reading others, Trinity. But I think you’ve got a bit of a blindspot.”

You pressed your palms to the window on either side of him and tilted your head to the side.

“That’s gonna smudge.” Tony shrugged. “I can invoice you for that too.”

“Take it back.”

“What? That you’re a touch hor—”

“YES!”

“Oh, Trinity.” He traced the side of your face with the back of his hand. “There’s nothing wrong with needing other people. I think you’re gonna enjoy needing me.”

Tony wrapped his fingers along the nape of your neck and brought your lips a breath away from his. His skin practically grazed yours as he spoke.

“It’s okay,” he breathed. “Just tell me. Just tell me and I’m all yours.”

Your fingers clenched alongside the window as your chest tightened. Sucking in a breath, you barely traced your lips over his.

This fucker.

“Tony, I…” You swallowed. “I need you.”

He flipped you around and pressed your back to the driver's side door. Raising you a few inches from ground, you wrapped your legs around his hips and threw your fingers into his hair.

You demanded entrance into his mouth and explored the familiar terrain with fervor. But Tony gasped as you leaned farther, farther, and farther back until…

You were both fully inside his car.

“Ow!” you yelped, mid-back impaled by the center console.

“Damn, you're getting better at this.”

He scrambled into the driver’s seat. As you started to crawl on top of him, you elbowed a button—damn, there were so many fucking buttons—and  _ Heat of the Moment _ blared through the speakers.

You whipped your head around.

“Asia?”

He shrugged. 

“Good pick,” you panted.

You straddled his lap and threw your hands under this t-shirt. Tony leaned his head back as you raked your fingers down his chest and stomach before throwing his shirt off. 

Latching your palms to either side of his face, you magnetized your lips to his as he unbuttoned your jeans. You kicked off your shoes and slammed your heel into a lever near the brakes.

The seat jolted forward and you fazed midway through the dash.

“TONY!”

“I’m on it, I’m on it!” 

When he pulled the seat back, you were back on top of him...with your jeans on the floor.

“Damn that is...” He raised his eyebrows.

“Convenient.” You shimmied your hips over his.

“Sure, convenient.”

You furrowed your brow as a cup of ramen, then another, and another rolled out onto the floor next to your abandoned clothes.

“Tony, what the—”

“I’ll tell you later.”

He drew your lips back to his and slid his hand between your legs. As he traced the patterns of lace, you tilted your hips forward and nipped his bottom lip.

Tony hooked a finger underneath the fabric and slid it along to the side of your hip. You whined in anticipation, tugging on his hair.

“Please…”

Using the slickness between your folds for lubrication, he began tracing patterns over your clit. You slammed your palm to the window as your other hand dug half-moon crescents into the leather of the seat.

You rocked your hips to the tune of his fingers. It didn’t take long for you to climax as you threw your head back with a gasp.

“I love to say it,” Tony chuckled. “But I told you so.”

You scrambled to unbutton his jeans, teeth knocking against his a bit harder than anticipated as you kissed him.

“Ah!” he protested.

But Tony leaned his head back and you freed his length with a few firm strokes. Pushing your underwear aside, you ran his tip across your folds before driving him into you.

Surely, you’d be the death of him.

He wrapped his arms around your upper back and pulled you close. Pressing one hand to his chest, you buried your nose in the crook of his neck and you rocked your hips over his.

“Oh my God,” he grunted, hands trailing to your ass and giving you a squeeze.

“That’s awfully generous, Tony. But you can just call me Trinity.”

You bit into his neck and sucked, stealing the laugh from his throat. 

“Admit it,” he groaned. “You missed me.”

“I missed this.”

You cupped the side of his face in your hand. 

“And me,” he murmured. 

“Yes, and you.”

He pulled away and you rested your hands on the seat just above his shoulders and quickened your pace. Digging his nails into your hips, Tony helped you along. 

“You mean that?” He closed his eyes and leaned his head back.

“Tony, honestly. Can we, can we talk about this later?”

He slid one hand between your legs and ran circles over your clit. 

“Yeah,” he grunted. “Later, later is good.”

After a few ragged pants from you, he could feel the heat of your breath on his lips as you came. Mouth hanging dangerously open, he took the invitation to kiss you and guide his tongue alongside yours. 

Your walls squeezed around him as helpless whimpers passed from your lips to his. He finished just as you nipped his earlobe and whispered, “Yes, I missed you too.”


	12. Healing Magic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I'm playing fast and loose with canon and timelines.

Sitting at a booth in the 24-hour dinner, you picked at the edge of the envelope as your knee bounced under the table. Scott slid into the seat across from you.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong? We got the cake but—”

“Happy birthday, Scottie.” You slid a chocolate malt across the table.

“What happened? Did you get sick? Did…” His shoulders sunk as he tilted his head to the side. “What did Hope say?”

“Scott, I’m fine. I just ran into some car troubles.” 

You passed the card to him and leaned over the table.

“Now, can we start celebrating the fact that you were born on this very day eighteen years ago?”

“Eighteen? But I’m...oh, yeah, I gotchu.” He winked and opened the card.

You placed your hands between your knees and shifted in your seat. Biting his lip, Scott opened the card and started reading aloud.

“Dear Hot Shot, I could write a bunch of feelings. But you’d probably just laugh and ruin the fucking moment…”

He raised his eyebrows. “Accurate.”

“Keep reading.”

“So I’ll keep this quick. I’m grateful every day that you got caught burgaling that douchebag because it means I got to meet you. Now, for the greatest magician I know, here’s a moment of magic to celebrate with the ones you love most.”

His eyes drifted to the tickets taped to the bottom.

“No way.”

“Yes way.” You smirked.

“How did you get these?” He fanned out the tickets to the sold-out Piff the Magic Dragon show.

“I’ve been hiding them for a while. I wanted to give you a close up look so you can gauge his skill. I thought you, Hope, and Cassie could go together.”

“Not you?”

“No, I’ve got plenty of magic in my life right now. Seems like more of a family thing anyway. Although I hear he’s not very good at keeping his mouth clean. So Cassie will have a great time with that. Tell her I’ll cover his quarters.”

Scott set the tickets down and leaned forward.

“Doc, you’ve got to know this by now. You are family.”

“Yeah, I-I know.”

“San Quentin State Prison was a shithole but it got me hooked up with you and Luis.”

“Really? I didn’t think it was that bad.”

“What? That’s because you worked there.” He turned out his hands. “And what was that about ruining the moment?”

“I love you, Scott.”

He placed his hands over yours. “I love you too.”

A few mornings later, you shuffled out of your room and into the kitchen with a yawn. Scratching the back of your head, your eyes lazily drifted around the room. But you jolted back at a guest at your kitchen table.

Scott pursed his lips and waved at you from the counter. “I believe this belongs to you.”

Thor furrowed his brow and shook his head.

“I-I don’t belong to anyone.”

Hair disheveled and still dressed in a robe and your pajamas, you plopped in the seat next to him. Crossing your arms over the table, you pressed your forehead to your forearms and groaned.

“I haven’t even had coffee yet and there’s an alien in my house.”

“I’m not an alien. I’m an Avenger.” Thor scowled.

You looked up and raised your eyebrows. “From space.”

“Is this how you treat all of your guests?”

“What do you guys need us to rob? Honestly, Tony can take it easy with the showmanship. I owe him anyway for that weird stuff he put in Scott’s car.”

“He did what to my car?” Scott whipped around from the coffee maker.

He set down a mug in front of you and Thor. With a grin, Thor raised his mug.

“Thank you.”

Clasping his hands on the table, Thor leaned forward and raised his eyebrows.

“I’m not here on Stark’s behalf. I have a personal inquiry regarding your powers.”

“My powers? I don’t know if they’ll work on Asgard. Something about molecular structures?”

You glanced at Scott for backup. But he leaned on the counter and shrugged, raising his mug to his lips.

“I dunno, Doc. But I’d be down to visit.”

Thor tilted his head to the side. “You need a particular molecular structure to use your healing powers?”

“Healing powers?” you and Scott asked.

After a swallow, Thor glanced down before tentatively returning his gaze to you.

“Yes, Stark said that you helped a friend of his.” 

“What? No. Thor, I-I move through physical matter.” You waved your hand through your coffee mug. “See? You must have me confused with someone else.”

“No, I firmly recall he said ‘the woman who has the hots for the sexy wizard’. You do consort with the sexy wizard, do you not? Heimdall said that—”

“Please stop talking.” You slammed your eyes closed.

“My apologies.”

Scrunching one side of your face, you drew in a breath and cocked an eyebrow.

“Which friend did I help and what exactly did I do?”

“He didn’t provide specifics. Just said that you helped relieve a great weight from his chest.”

You furrowed your brow. But after a moment, you drew in a breath and glanced down. Shaking your head, you picked at your nails in your lap.

“Oh, Tony.”

You bit your lip and looked at Thor.

“Is this for your brother? Because I can’t help anyone who doesn’t want to be helped.”

“Erm…” Thor shifted in his seat and glanced at Scott. “Perhaps we could converse somewhere private?”

“Oh, you want a session?” Scott raised his eyebrows. “Lemme just, yeah…”

He scurried from the kitchen.

Wrapping your hands around your mug, you straightened your posture and relaxed your shoulders. Thor stared at his coffee as the glassy surface gleaned back at him.

“It’s not about Loki,” he said.

“Thor, I don’t know what you heard about me. But I don’t have healing powers. Before I got tangled in this world, your world, I helped others heal themselves. Psychologically. And I prescribed medication when it would help them. But I don’t, I don’t have any special powers.”

“I’m sorry to have bothered you.”

As he started to rise from his seat, you set your hand over his and he sat back down.

“You’re not a bother. I just want to be clear on the scope of my abilities. I’m happy to help you in any way that I can.”

“What did you tell Stark’s friend?”

“It’s not a one size fits all solution.” You smiled gently. “Do you feel a weight too?”

Thor clenched his jaw and glanced down. This was harder than he expected. He thought he was prepared.

“It’s okay,” you said. “I’ll say a few things and you let me know if they resonate?”

Avoiding your gaze, he nodded.

“There’s a lot of pressure. You’ve felt it since you were young. Pressure to perform. Pressure to be a certain way. Pressure to match a certain image.”

He continued nodding.

“And there’s a part of you who thinks that if you don’t live up to this overwhelming pressure, that you’re letting people down. That you’re disappointing them. That you won’t be good enough and, if you were being really honest with yourself, you’d be cast out.”

More nodding.

“Your parents are gone. So part of you feels responsible to uphold the family legacy. Some sense of honor and duty. But you are also exhausted from carrying that weight all your life. You wish, for once, that things didn’t have to be about taking care of Asgard or saving the world or looking out for your equally troubled brother.”

“Equally troubled?” Thor furrowed his brow. “No, Loki and I—”

“Were two young boys who grew up in a system that measured their worthiness by their external accomplishments and their ability to please their father. Playing that game came easier, more naturally to you. But it doesn’t mean it still didn’t cause harm.”

“I know that I am worthy now. I have proof.”

“But that’s just it, Thor. Your worthiness has nothing to do with anything external. You have always been good enough. Hammer or no hammer. Or more accurately, with or without your father’s approval.”

“My father was a good man.”

“He was doing the best he could with what he had. But that doesn’t mean he was able to care for you in the way that you truly needed.”

Thor scoffed, “What care? I had everything I could have ever asked for.”

“Emotional care and physical are different things. Just because your physical needs were met, doesn’t mean your younger self received the emotional support you needed and deserved.”

“I don’t...It’s not that I disagree that this is possible. I just fail to see how it applies to my childhood. I was, I was happy.”

“Yes, and it’s okay if at times you weren’t.”

“Um, alright then.”

Perplexed, Thor glanced down and shook his head. But you drew in a breath and leaned forward.

“I know this might have been more confusing than helpful. But I hope you think on it. And I can offer you this.”

You took his hands in yours.

“Your worthiness does not lie in your ability to please others, to make them safe, or even in your honor. The happiness and safety of those around you is not your responsibility. You’re allowed to rest. You are still worthy if you rest.”

With a hard swallow, Thor looked into your eyes and nodded.

“Thank you. I will, I will think about everything you’ve told me.”

He rose from his seat and tapped his fist on the table.

“I’m sorry to have bothered you.”

“You are equally deserving of care as anyone else, Thor. Just maybe call me instead of dropping by?”

“I don’t have a phone.”

“We’ll figure it out.”

You walked him to the door and watched the God of Thunder traipse down the street with his hands in his pockets and mind filled with even more questions than before. Crossing your arms and taking a deep breath, you hoped he would be back to talk to you again.

When you went back inside, you withdrew your phone and called Tony. He answered on the second ring.

“So you did miss me.”

“Are you telling people that I helped a friend of yours?”

“What? No, not people. Just mentioned it to one or two...why?”

“I just had a visit from the God of Thunder. If your team needs support, I’m happy to provide it. But not in my kitchen at seven in the morning. I have a sense Doctor Banner could use some insight on emotional regulation.”

“Are you serious?”

“Truly. He probably needs a bit of couple’s counseling too.”

“No, I mean, well yes. But are you serious about helping us out?”

“Helping them out. You and I have a different relationship. It wouldn’t be appropriate.”

“A different...relationship?”

“Well, I’m not having sex with Captain America.”

“But you’ve thought about it.”

“No, his boyfriend is more my type.”

Silence.

“Tony, I’m kidding. I haven’t had sex with anyone since, well, you.”

“Not even…”

“No, not even the sexy wizard.”

Tony dragged his hand down his face and groaned.

“He could get it.”

“And he knows it. I think he’s enjoying playing hard to get with you. But I probably shouldn’t meddle.”

Tony gulped, questioning if you could hear it even with the inferior audio quality of your phone.

“Since Hot Shot took over your training, I haven’t seen much of you. Suit’s working okay?”

“Just fine, Tony.”

“Um, good.” He cleared his throat. “You just, uh, call me if you need anything. I meant what I said.”

“So did I.”

“Okay, then. Well, good talking to you as always, Doc. I’ll check into—”

“Tony…”

“Yes?”

“Would you like to get dinner?”

“Yes, yes I would.”

“Good, I’ll see you tonight.” 

“Let’s open a rift to another universe, he said. It’ll be fun, he said.” Wong rolled his eyes.

In the New York Sanctum, Stephen gritted his teeth as he tightened his enchanted bindings around the agitated zouwu. Wong’s grip remained steadfast around its snout as they dragged the beast to a holding cage.

“I never said it would be fun,” Stephen grunted.

“Well, it wasn’t.”

But Stephen’s grip loosed as his phone started ringing.

“Strange, don’t you dare.”

“You’ve got this, right?” He shrugged.

“You have been glued to that thing since curry night. You’re just embarrassing yourself.”

The zouwu growled at Wong. But Stephen reeled it back.

“Yeah, I think you’ve got this.”

Stephen relinquished his magic and spun around, answering his phone over the protests of Wong’s shouts.

“Whoa,” you said. “Everything okay over there?”

“Fine, just fine,” he panted. 

“STRANGE, GET BACK HERE!” Wong complained. “THIS IS YOUR MESS.”

Stephen waved his hand through the air, transporting himself to the library.

The silent library.

“Sounds like you’ve got your hands full?” you asked. “I can call back later.”

“No, no. Just, um, multiverse drama. You know how it is.”

“Oh yeah, just the other day I opened a portal to a universe with vampires, werewolves, and alcoholics who hunt them.”

“What?! Do you know how dangerous it is to open a rift? Where is it? Did you close—”

“It’s a TV show, Stephen. And I was joking.”

“Right, of course you were. You don’t have the skill to do that anyway.”

“Keep going, Doc. My heart is just melting.”

“You have been spending far too much time with Tony Stark.”

“And you haven’t been spending enough. At least he thinks so.”

Stephen raised his eyebrows and shrugged. But immediately shook his head and pressed his palm to his forehead.

“Where are you? Can we have this conversation in person? I don’t, I don’t like talking over the phone if I can avoid it.”

“Why, Stephen Strange. I missed you too. I’m in my living room.”

You stood up from the couch as a portal opened in front of you. With Stephen standing on the other side, you hung up your phone and cocked an eyebrow.

“My place or yours?”

Stephen glanced over his shoulder.

“Yours, definitely yours.”

He hopped into your living room and closed the portal.

Taking a step forward, you wrapped your hands around his waist and tilted your head to the side.

“How have you been?” you asked.

“You missed me?” 

“Not you too.” You rolled your eyes and flung yourself to the couch. Crossing your arms and legs, you smirked at him. “Would you like to get dinner tonight?”

“Dinner?”

“Yes, but if you’re busy with your multiverse—”

“No, I’d, I’d love to.”

“I’m glad to hear it. I know I’ve been preoccupied as of late and you’ve clearly been tied up. So I thought it would be nice to see you.”

“Stark will be there?”

“Of course, but I thought he might enjoy you as a surprise.”

Stephen smirked and glanced to the side. But after a swallow, his eyes drifted back to you. He drew in a breath. 

“So not a date?”

“Not a date.”

With a curt nod, Stephen summoned a portal and made his way back to the Sanctum. You rose to your feet to refill your coffee. But two steps away from the couch, another portal opened just at your eyelevel. Stephen reached through and pulled you into a kiss. 

“I, I missed you too,” he murmured.

He vanished in a flurry of orange sparks, leaving you—for once—quite speechless. 

Scott entered the kitchen with some noise-canceling headphones.

“Is the coast clear?” he shouted. 

You winced at his volume and nodded. Scott took off his headphones and sighed. 

“Good. I know the guy is a god. But dude’s voice travels and I didn’t want to eavesdrop. Even on accident.”

“I appreciate your commitment to confidentiality.”

“I learned from the best.” He shrugged. “Anyway, Luis wants to go to this impressionist art exhibit tonight. He asked me to go but I thought maybe that would be more your thing?”

“I’d love to. But I actually have plans tonight.”

“Ohh, Doc’s got a date.”

“No.” You rolled your eyes. “I’m just chaperoning one.”


	13. Safeword is Shawarma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Musical inspiration for this chapter is [Immortals by Fall Out Boy.](https://youtu.be/l9PxOanFjxQ)
> 
> Some Ironstrange threesome action coming your way. Updated the tags for more info. Basically, Tony has wanted some supreme dick since the beginning of this chaotic mess and he finally gets it.

Wiping his mouth, Tony set down his chopsticks and shook his head.

“And that is why I’m never eating egg salad from a gas station ever again.”

Sitting between you and Tony, Stephen cocked an eyebrow. “You’ve got an IQ of what...250?”

“272,” Tony replied with a gasp, setting down his scotch.

Scratching the back of your head, you rested your elbow on the table and grimaced.

“Not really helping your case, Tones.”

“What?” He popped a crunchy egg noodle in his mouth. “Worked okay for Fry? I honestly thought it was a decent sandwich.”

“I’m sorry you didn’t get worms to jazzercise your muscles,” you laughed and took a sip of tea.

“Although we wouldn’t magic school bus into your colon.” Stephen smirked. “No matter how much you begged.”

Tony gestured between you and Stephen with his chopsticks “You watch Futurama?”

“Yeah.” You grinned. “The one with the worms is Parasites Lost.”

“Season three, episode two. Aired January 21, 2001,” Stephen added.

He nodded to a potsticker and you plucked it from the plate with your chopsticks. After dipping it in sauce, you offered it to him and he took a bite.

Tony leaned back in his seat and rolled his eyes.

“Geez, Doc. Woulda thought you figured out how to feed yourself by now.”

“I can use chopsticks.” Stephen swallowed. “This is just more enjoyable.”

“I’m pretty sure you’d terrify the public with floating utensils anyway.” You finished the other half of the dumpling.

“That too.”

“Did you figure out your multiverse drama?” you asked.

“You’re playing around with the multiverse?” Tony scoffed. “What did you do? Open up a portal to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter?”

“What? No!” Stephen cleared his throat and sipped his tea, eyes darting around. 

“The multiverse isn’t a joke, Tony. Stephen made sure to tell me.”

You offered Stephen a bite of chicken. He graciously accepted. But some of the sauce lingered on the corner of his lip.

“Oh.” You tilted your head to the side and wiped it with your thumb. Rotating his face to Tony, you raised your eyebrows. “What do you think?”

“Mmm, still missed a spot, Doc.”

With a grin, Tony wrapped his hand around the nape of Stephen’s neck. He licked the corner of his mouth before bringing him into a kiss.

Stephen’s hand hovered over Tony’s shoulder before it made its final descent. Extracting the taste of scotch from his tongue, Stephen’s muscles relaxed by Tony’s silent command; cursing his ability to maneuver his goddamn mouth.

You, however, proceeded to pop a chow mein noodle in your mouth.

“Get a room you two.”

Stephen jerked backward. You certainly noticed the slight flush of his cheeks as he swiped your tea; downing it in one gulp.

Tony set his elbow on the table and pointed at you.

“Can be arranged. And it’s three. Hence, well, Trinity.” He pinched Stephen’s cheek and smirked. “Admit it, Wizard. You missed me.”

But, with a glimmer of satisfaction in his eye, Stephen looked at you and smirked.

“What was that about a bedroom?” 

Tony opened his mouth to speak. But, for one of the few times in his life, he was rendered speechless as Stephen swiped his hand through the air and the three of you were in his bedroom at the Sanctum.

“You set this up ahead of time.” Your eyes darted around the cavernous room.

“Simple charm.”

“HOT.” Tony examined his environment with wide eyes.

Locking eyes with Tony, Stephen pointed to the bed and swallowed.

“Strip and lay down on your back.”

“Wait, what?” Tony put his hand on his chest and leaned forward.

Flash of panic behind his eyes, Stephen glanced at you. “Too much?” 

But Tony was already yanking off his t-shirt.

“No, it’s good. So good,” he stammered. “Safeword is shawarma?”

You shrugged at Stephen and exchanged a nod. With a grunt, Tony threw his back to the mattress and started fumbling with his belt buckle; dexterity yet to catch up with the rest of his body.

You took it upon yourself to help Stephen remove his robes. As your hands danced with the belt around his waist, you brought your lips to his and smirked.

“You’re going to wreck him,” you breathed between kisses.

“He’s been asking for it.”

“Almost literally.”

You hooked your thumbs under the lapels of his robes and let them fall to the floor. Stephen began removing his tunic, but his eyes drifted to Tony on the bed.

“Did I say you could touch yourself?”

“Oh, God.” Tony’s hand magnetized back to the mattress.

“What was that?”

“No, sir,” he croaked.

You unbuttoned your jeans and smirked at Stephen. 

“You’re going to be the death of him.”

He wrapped his hand along the side of your face and kissed you. 

“No,” he breathed. “We are.”

In just your underwear, you pounced on top of Tony. Placing your hands to his stomach, you straddled his hips and leaned forward. He released a whine as your lips barely grazed his. 

“Would you like me to ride you while Stephen fucks you senseless?”

Biting his lip, Tony nodded to you furiously. You kissed him and traced the side of his face with a grin.

“And I’ll tell you what an exquisite job you’re doing?” you cooed.

“Mmmm, please.”

You propped yourself upright on your knees, only for your back to kiss Stephen’s bare chest. He placed his hands on your hips and trailed kisses down your neck and shoulder. 

“Would you like to sit on Tony’s face?” he murmured.

You ran your fingers through his hair and smirked.

“You are truly filthy, Doctor Stephen Strange.” You retracted your hand and teasingly swiped a finger down Tony’s hip, appreciating his involuntary twitch. “And yes, I would.”

As you inched your way up Tony’s body, you fazed through your underwear in the process. Stephen picked up the discarded garment and cocked an eyebrow at Tony.

“She’s got some new tricks.” Tony winked at him.

“You two had sex?”

“She was desperate.”

“Was n—” you started.

He buried his tongue between your legs and sucked at your clit. With a gasp, you threw your hands to the headboard and rocked your hips over his face. Tony Stark knew exactly how to run his fucking mouth.

Biting his lip, Stephen traced a trembling finger down Tony’s abdomen.

“I don’t remember saying you could use this.”

The pads of his fingers grazed the tip of Tony’s cock. Your back arched as Tony’s fingernails dug into your thighs. He was quite responsive, even to the feather light touches of the sorcerer’s hands.

Enjoying his effect on both of you, Stephen placed his palm just above Tony’s knee and smirked. He lowered himself, flattening his tongue along Tony’s length from shaft to tip.

“Tony!” you yelped.

But he only grunted in reply.

His hands tightened around you as Stephen continued to tease him with a myriad of licks and swirls of his tongue. But Stephen refused to give him the full satisfaction of his mouth. 

“Patience, Mr. Stark,” Stephen murmured. “You’ll get us both if you earn it.”

Your breath grew ragged as Tony continued to work his tongue. But, eagerness growing by the moment, he inserted two fingers into you as his mouth redirected its entire focus to your clit.

Quite fluent in your body by now, it didn’t take long for Tony to extract your orgasm from you. Mercilessly gripping the headboard, you hung your head with a vocal gasp. He slowly unfurled his fingers from your shaking legs.

And Stephen, for one, relished the sight.

Raising himself upright, Stephen wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He raised his eyebrows at you, gesturing for you to return to him. 

When you were back over Tony’s hips, you lowered yourself on top of him to graze his length with your wetness. Stephen placed his hand on your waist and whispered in your ear.

“Can you help me, um…”

“I’ve got him.” You smirked. “Do you have—”

But you tilted your head back when the Cloak of Levitation offered you a bottle of lubricant. Accepting, you raised your eyebrows at Stephen.

“We’re going to talk about this later.”

But he could only smirk and kiss the nape of your neck in gratitude.

As Tony breathed a whine, you redirected your focus to him.

“Oh, Tony,” you cooed, leaning over to kiss him.

Coating your fingers with lubricant, you trailed kisses down his jawline, neck, and to his chest. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back as you rested your finger at his entrance. 

“You’re doing so well,” you hummed. “I know you’re going to enjoy this.”

“Mhmm.”

As you bit down just beneath his clavicle, you inserted a finger and began to gently massage him. Tense at first, Tony relaxed himself and you wrapped your hand along his neck and kissed him.

“Very good,” you breathed, continuing to open him. “Would you like another?”

“Please.”

As you fingered Tony, Stephen leaned back and began stroking himself with as much of a grip as his hands would allow. Tony was delightfully responsive to your touch. You peppered kisses along his neck and smirked.

“I have a surprise for you. If you’d like to try it.”

Dazed, Tony lazily nodded his head.

But his breath hitched as you started gently vibrating your fingers. He released a guttural groan as you propped yourself upright again, deepening your fingers inside him. Your heart rate increased as Stephen began tracing his hands over the front of your body.

Spreading your fingers, Tony fisted the sheets and gasped.

“Do you want it, Tony?” you asked. “Do you want your sexy wizard?”

He bit his lip and nodded.

“What do you think, Doctor?” You turned to Stephen as his hand gently squeezed the inside of your thigh. “Does he deserve you?”

“Only if he’s good enough to take us both,” Stephen rumbled.

“Yes...please…” Tony nodded.

With a smirk, you gently removed your fingers from him. Stephen placed his fingers under your chin to turn your head, offering you a kiss of gratitude. 

You inched up Tony’s body to give Stephen ample room to adjust. He prodded Tony’s entrance with his tip and, upon the relaxation of Tony’s muscles, proceeded to ease himself inside.

“Fuck, so, so much,” Tony groaned.

Leaning over, you rested your forearms on either side of his face and kissed him. 

“You’re taking him so well.”

“Mhmm.”

But you jolted upright as a finger teased your folds. You whipped your head around and Stephen winked at you with a shameless smirk across his face. Straddling Tony’s stomach, you rested your hands on his chest as you watched his body take Stephen.

Stephen fucked him slowly at first, intently focused on the tension of his muscles and watching for any sign of discomfort. But when Tony was practically serenading him with a symphony of moans, Stephen hooked his arm around your waist to bring you closer. You started stroking Tony’s cock as Stephen held onto you for leverage.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Stephen asked Tony.

“God...yes.”

“What do you say to Stephen?” you sang.

“Thank you,” Tony panted. “Thank you for fucking me.”

“You’re doing such a good job taking him. Would you like me too?”

“Mm...mhmm.”

With his approval, you slowly lowered yourself onto him. You followed Stephen’s lead as he wrapped his arm around your ribcage, bicep tensing with his grip. You each delighted in the noises from Tony’s lips. Aching for more contact, he reached up and dug his nails into your thighs. But Stephen smacked his hands away from you.

“Did I say you could touch her?”

Eyes rolling back in his head, Tony whined.

“No...no, sir.”

You leaned your head back to kiss Stephen as he cupped your breast.

“You’re enjoying yourself,” you breathed, feeling the smirk on his lips.

But your attention was redirected as Tony released an aching gasp.

“I’m...not...not going to last.”

“What do you think, Stephen?”

But your breath hitched as Stephen placed his hands over your shoulders. With a firm grip, he increased the pace of his thrusts. His nails imprinted along your skin and he hung his head with ragged breath, chest pressing against your back as he fucked Tony without any sense of place and time.

Your body moved in synchronicity with his, inspiring you to massage yourself with a gentle flutter of your fingers. And when your walls tightened around Tony’s cock to the rhythm that he loved, damn near worshipped, he too came inside you with a rough grunt.

Panting, you untangled yourself from him and flung your back to the mattress. Tony vacantly stared at the ceiling as Stephen carefully removed himself from him.

“On all fours,” Stephen commanded.

After a gulp, Tony obeyed with shaking limbs. Stephen raised his eyebrows at you, enjoying the sinister grin that crept across your lips. 

Stephen loathed many things in life. But at the top of the list were his useless hands, his nagging heart, and the inconvenience of his ability to pleasure himself to a satisfactory degree.

Yet, he set aside his distaste for asking for help; finding that receiving it from you was becoming one of his favorite elements of your relationship.

On your knees, you positioned yourself behind Stephen. With one hand on his shoulder and the other firmly wrapped around his cock, you jerked him off until he came completely undone over Tony’s back and ass.

With a weight lifted from his chest, Stephen hung his head back and a gasp. You threaded your fingers through his hair and massaged his scalp, offering a gentle kiss on his shoulder. He gulped as Tony collapsed face down onto the mattress.

“I take it back, Trinity,” Tony mumbled into the bed.

You scrunched your face. “What?” 

“You can, you can put a finger in me anytime.” He raised a thumbs up before he started flipping over. “I’ll be ready for round two. Just lemme get some electrolytes.”

Tony dragged his upper body over the side of the bed. But, completely spent, he started cascading downward. He was only saved from slamming into the floorboards as the Cloak of Levitation threw him back on the mattress.

“Okay, it might, might take me a bit longer.” He closed his eyes. “S’okay if we stay here, Doc?”

Stephen swallowed. “I, I would like that.”


	14. Murder Hornets (The Sequel)

You jolted awake the next morning to the sound of glass shattering and cacophonous buzzing. Before you could even register what was happening, the Cloak of Levitation wrapped around Stephen and—

“OW!” Tony yelped.

Your eyes blew wide open as a massive swarm of bees started swirling around Stephen’s bedroom. You scrambled back toward the headboard and Tony was armed in his suit in .3 seconds. Stephen’s robes materialized as Tony positioned himself in front of you. 

The body of bees collectively reeled backward, as if to size up the three of you. 

“This is not good,” Tony said.

And with a single gust, the swarm bolted forward to attack.

Having trained with Scott’s ants, you were moderately effective at allowing the bees to pass through your body; although the training was intended to prepare you for bullets. The Cloak swatted them away from Stephen as he armed himself.

“Where’s your suit?” Tony whipped his head around to you.

“I didn’t think I’d need it for our date!”

A flurry of bees darted through your abdomen and toward Stephen.

Tony aimed his palm toward a small herd. He prepared to fire just as Stephen shouted at him.

“DON’T!”

But, quick on the draw, Tony obliterated the full-length on the mirror in the corner of the sorcerer’s bedroom. The glass splintered through the air and the Cloak of Levitation spun Stephen around to protect him from the blast.

“Oops,” Tony grimaced. “I, I did not think that through.”

“YOU THINK!” Stephen yelled, fighting off his own swarm.

“Guys, if I vibrate any faster, I’m going to faze right through the floor.” You ducked as the bees flew through your face.

Stephen reached for his sling ring. But just as he was about to throw it on his fingers, the bees snatched it from him and flew through the broken window.

“Oh, shit,” he muttered.

“Mr. Stark,” FRIDAY interjected. “You have fifty-seven missed calls. Thirty-eight from Captain Rogers, twelve from Ms. Romanoff, and—”

“Um, kinda busy right now.” 

Two blowtorches erupted from the shoulder blades of his suit. Tony started pacing the room, torching the swarm in the process. 

As the bees darted in and out of your body, Stephen and the Cloak herded them together. Tony proceeded to eliminate the swarm as the toasted bodies collapsed to the floor.

With a few lingering through the air, Tony disengaged the blowtorches and his helmet.

“Everyone okay?” he asked.

But Stephen bolted to the door and threw it open. He snatched the note on the outside before slamming it shut, having come face-to-face with another swarm of agitated bees.

Stephen furrowed his brow at the note.

_Using one of my vacation days._

He looked at you and Tony with a deadpan expression.

“Well, Wong is fine.” He tossed the note aside, swatting away a lingering bee.

The Cloak flew to the broken window to block any more uninvited insects from invading the room. Shaking his head, Tony engaged his helmet and called Steve.

“TONY!” he answered. “What the hell have you been doing?”

“Um, I don’t think my rabbi would approve of me telling you.”

“There are bees all over the place.” Steve patched in Natasha.

“They seem to be confined to Manhattan,” she added.

Tony sucked in a breath and groaned. “Big guy still on vacation?”

“Visiting the Galapagos,” Natasha said. “Hanging out with a turtle.”

“Tortoise,” Tony corrected.

“Whatever.”

“GUYS!” Steve shouted.

“Right, right. Where are you?”

“Just outside the Tower. We’re helping people find cover.”

“We’ll be right there.”

As Tony talked with Steve and Nat, you checked your phone to see twenty-one missed calls from Scott. Stephen scowled at his.

“No one called me.”

But you already had your phone to your ear.

“DOC!” Scott answered. 

“Scott, what the hell is going on?”

“I don’t know, we had the murder hornets. So maybe this is the sequel?”

“Are you guys safe?”

“Yeah, yeah. Cassie’s with her mom and Luis is hunkered down in the van. He stocked up on chips and guac. Don’t ask me how he refrigerates it in there, but—”

“SCOTT!”

“Oh yeah, I’ve got your suit. Where are you?”

Tony ended the call and you nodded to him.

“We’re meeting everyone at the Tower and I guess going from there.”

“On my way. Call me if you need anything,” Scott said.

“Likewise.”

You hung up and stared at Tony and Stephen.

“How the hell are we supposed to make it through New York with murderous bees coming for us?”

“Wizard, you got a backup of those…” He traced his hand through the air to mimic conjuring a portal.

“That was my backup.” Stephen wiped his hand over his face, wincing when he hit the spots where he got stung.

“I hate to suggest this as a plan,” Tony said, “But I think we’re going to just have to make a run for it.”

“Your car?” You raised your eyebrows.

“Back at the restaurant.”

“Right.” You sighed. 

Taking Stephen’s hand in yours, you drew in a breath. 

“Between Tony and your Cloak, I think I can get us through with minimal damage.”

“Are you sure?” He raised his eyebrows. “You don’t have to—”

You started fluttering your body in sync with his.

“Let’s go,” you ordered.

The three of you dashed through the Sanctum, throwing the front doors open to screams and shouts as people ducked and cowered from the swarms of bees.

Tony led the way and roasted as many of the murderous insects as he could. The Cloak of Levitation covered yours and Stephen’s backside and you scurried through the streets of New York. 

Stephen struggled to adjust to the effect of your powers. The world wouldn’t hold still, except when he was looking at you. But the bees continued to dart in and out of your bodies. So he certainly wasn’t complaining. Especially considering that the side of his face was already starting to swell.

“So, about that date?” he asked.

“Stephen,” you panted. “Not the time.”

“Right…”

A young couple cowered as a swarm enclosed on them and their car. The taller man fumbled with his keys, unsure if they’d be able to make it in without bringing half the heard of bees with them.

Tony rushed over and began incinerating the bugs. But you looked at Stephen with pleading eyes. 

“Will you be good for—”

“Go ahead.”

You ran over and grabbed both the men’s hands, fazing through their car and safely securing them out of the line of fire. In a blur, you were back at Stephen’s side and the world became fuzzy to his eyes once again.

He could have sworn you passed a guy in a trench coat who said “so beautiful” as he watched the bees in awe.

When you finally made it to the tower, Nat nodded at Tony.

“Took you long enough.” She used a flamethrower to torch a hoard of bees.

“Where’s Cap?”

“Helping people get into that office building. C’mon, let’s get inside.”

She started backing toward the entrance, demolishing any bees that dared approach. Scott burst upward to his full size and handed you your suit.

“We are going to talk about this when you get home, young lady.”

You snatched the suit from his hands and rushed inside.

In a conference room, Natasha tossed her flamethrower to the center table and crossed her arms.

“This has Loki written all over it.”

“No one’s taken credit for this?” Tony asked.

“Not yet,” Scott grimaced. “I tried to negotiate with them. But then I remembered, I don’t speak bee.”

“Well, there’s something up with these types of bees,” Tony gestured to Stephen. “They stole from the Wizard.”

“Yeah, they seem genetically enhanced to me.” Scott put his hands on his hips, having gotten an up close and personal look at them.

The door burst open as Thor came strutting through, encased in electricity that crackled around him. Holding Loki by the back of his collar, he flung the God of Mischief into the room.

Steve walked in right behind them.

“Loki,” Thor threatened. “Stop this madness.”

In a fit of laughter, Loki shrugged. “This wasn’t me. Please don’t misjudge my amusement for a confession.”

With wide eyes, Scott examined Thor.

“Whoa, are you like a human bug zapper?”

“I’m not human.”

Scott took a step behind you. 

The lightning dissipated around Thor’s body as he shook out his shoulders. He crossed his arms and glared at his brother.

“If my brother is telling the truth, I can confirm that these insects do not come from beyond Earth.”

“Dammit,” Scott whispered in your ear. “I was hoping for space bees.”

Stephen cleared his throat and took a step forward. “They’re not a mystical threat either.”

“Not HYDRA.” Steve shook his head.

Tony turned out his palms. “Who the hell lets millions of murder bees on the loose?”

But he spun around at the sound of a familiar voice.

“Hey, Mr. Stark!”

Peter stepped into the room, coated in a generous layer of bees. They squirmed in a feeble attempt to escape from his webbing.

You were pretty sure Tony was going to have an aneurysm right then and there. Unfortunately for him, New York’s finest neurosurgeon was in the room, but out of service. 

“KID! What, but, the, HOW!” He gestured to the bees.

Tony lurched toward him. But Peter leaped back and held up his palms.

“Whoa, whoa! Careful, Mr. Stark. I wanna let them go when it’s safe.”

Tony’s eyes started bugging out of his head as Peter looked at you and Stephen and grinned.

“Hi, Doctor. You’re just as pretty as Mr. Stark said.”

“Um, thank you?” You cocked an eyebrow.

“Oh, I was talking to, um…” He scratched the back of his head and pointed to Stephen. “But you, you’re very pretty too.”

“WHY AREN’T YOU IN SCHOOL?” Tony blurted out.

“Um, murder bees? Who’da thought Columbia had it in them.”

“Columbia?” Stephen narrowed his eyes.

“Yeah.” Peter shrugged. “Haven’t you seen the video on TikTok?”

Loki chuckled, “When he runs in all ‘oh no, don’t do that!’”

“He was really trying, Mr. Loki.”

“There’s a video?!” Tony stared at Peter.

“Oh! Yeah.”

Peter pulled up his phone and handed it to Tony. 

Sure enough, a student held up his phone in selfie mode and walked around the lab. 

“On today’s episode of what goes down in Columbia, stays in Columbia, we’re going to take a look at Professor Moriarty’s experiments with genetically enhanced insects. Why bees, you may ask? The world may never know. But—”

He bumped against a jar of bees labeled “EXTERMINATE. DO NOT TOUCH.” and the glass crashed to the floor. Multiplying before Tony’s eyes, the swarm plumed upward just as the professor dashed into the room. 

“You aren’t authorized to—”

The fifteen seconds ended and the video scrolled up to a baby dancing with a corgi.

Eyeing the struggling bees covering his body, Tony cautiously extended the phone back to Peter. 

“FRIDAY, can you show...ugh.” He buried his face in his hand.

A holographic screen popped up and the entire team saw the video. When the jar slammed to the floor, Loki buckled over in a fit of laughter.

At least, until a bee broke free from Peter’s chest. It drifted over to sting the amused god upon his protruding cheekbone.

“WHO DARES TO—”

Loki whipped around with a dagger in hand. But Thor raised his eyebrows and chuckled.

With a scowl across his face, Loki glared at him and jabbed his dagger in his direction.

“You kept them away from me,” Loki spat.

“Just in case.” Thor shrugged.

“I DON’T need your protection!”

“Oh, alright then. You enjoy your Tick Clocks and murder bees.”

Grinding his teeth, Loki spun around to march out the door. But seeing the bees squirming on Peter, he gulped and started backing away.

Scott stepped out from behind you and shook his head.

“I think it should be known that the ants and I do not endorse this type of behavior. If you got genetically modified issues, there are far healthier ways to work this out.”

“Okay, even if this wasn’t done with malicious intent,” Steve said, “how are we going to stop an army of murderous bees?”

Everyone’s heads turned as an additional Avenger entered the room.

“I’ve got an idea.” Bruce grinned.


	15. Find Bee-Man, Stop the Bees

Bruce removed the veil of his beekeeping suit and set it on the table next to Natasha’s flamethrower. He set down his bag and pulled out his laptop and two sets of papers.

As everyone waited for his explanation of the mysterious murder bees, Bruce handed one stack of papers to Steve and the other to you.

“Thank you?” You furrowed your brow. 

His eyes flickered from your hand, still unconsciously connected with Stephen’s, and back to your face.

“I hear you aren’t big into screen time.” 

He proceeded to hook up his laptop to a monitor. The most recent findings of Professor Moriarty’s work with his bees flashed on the screen.

Stephen and Scott peered over your shoulder as you flipped through the paper version.

“Moriarty’s research was dedicated to enhancing the resiliency of bees in hopes of helping the population. He’s an environmentalist. Not interested in entomological warfare.”

Bruce progressed through the professor’s findings. But you raised your eyebrows at page seventeen.

“Oh, that’s not good,” Scott muttered.

“A few weeks ago, the bees started exhibiting aggressive behavior. When a worker bee is about to sting a target, it releases an alarm pheromone that attracts more bees and prepares them to attack. Somehow, they seem to have gotten caught in this as a default mode.”

He pulled up the chemical compositions of various bee pheromones.

“And the superior intelligence?” Tony asked.

“That’s where it gets interesting.” Bruce pointed to him. “The bees were designed to have increased physical stamina. Not intellectual.”

Scott put his hands on his hips and leaned his head back.

“Someone’s controlling them.”

Bruce shrugged. “Find Bee-Man, stop the bees.”

“No, no,” Scott whined. “We are not giving this person a title. It’s a clear abuse of power.”

“Some people could say the same about us.” Steve tossed the report on the table. “But regardless, we need to stop these bees from terrorizing the city.”

Bruce closed his laptop and faced the group. 

“That video only made it look like they were multiplying. Normal bee eggs take three or four days to hatch. Moriarty got it down to two.”

“Which begs the question…” Natasha cocked an eyebrow.

“Oh, oh!” Peter raised his hand, inciting everyone in the room except for Bruce to wince. “Where did the rest of the bees come from?”

Everyone looked at Scott.

“Seems like this is your area of expertise?” Steve asked.

“Yeah, yeah.” Scott rolled his eyes. “Find the bees, find the person controlling the bees, stop the bees.”

Bruce nodded at him. “Worker bees are programmed to literally work themselves to death. With most of them on the defensive, your best chance of getting back to the hive is following a drone.”

He examined the bees on Peter’s body. Finding a prime specimen on his shoulder, Bruce pointed out the drone to Scott.

“Just hope it doesn’t find a virgin queen on the way. They mate in flight.”

“Well, unlike other people in this room, I’m not into threesomes. At least, Hope isn’t.” Scott put on his helmet and gave you a thumbs up. “Let you know when I find the queen bee.”

“Actually, a queen bee doesn’t tell the workers what to do,” Bruce corrected. “Not like people thi—”

“Figure of speech.” 

Scott shrank down and you offered him your hand. Expediting him past the rest of the bees on Peter, you place him next to the drone and he hopped on its back. 

Scott freed the struggling bee from Peter’s webbing and wrestled with its fur—was he supposed to call it fur?—to gain stability as he soared through the air.

Natasha yanked her flamethrower off the table. 

“Alright. In the meantime, let’s torch these suckers.”

“Get people to safety,” Steve said.

“Yeah, whatever.” She strutted out of the room.

Steve crossed his arms and drew in a breath. But before he could speak, Bruce furrowed his brow and glanced around the room.

“What did he say about threesomes?”

“Nothing!” Steve blurted out. He rubbed the back of his neck and pointed to the door. “Time to, y’know, let’s go.”

With wide eyes, Bruce raised his eyebrows as Steve marched out the door. 

“Good for him.” He shrugged before following.

Loki crossed his arms and scowled. “I’m not helping.”

“No problem.” Thor patted his shoulder with a grin. “These tiny insects are far too powerful for you anyway.”

“Far too...no! I am—”

“Afraid of being stung.” Stepping toward the door, Thor outstretched his arms. “Entirely normal reaction.”

“You take that back!” Loki stomped after him.

As Peter started following after the Odinson brothers, Tony pointed a finger and shook his head.

“Kid, you’re not going anywhere. I know for a fact you’ve got an AP Bio test on Friday.”

Wincing, Peter slowly turned around and grimaced.

“I’m totally prepared for that. Plus, what better way to study biology than—”

“How many NADH and FADH2 are produced for each acetyl-CoA that enters the citric acid cycle?”

Stephen answered, “Six molecules of NADH and—” 

You jammed your elbow into his side as Tony whipped his head around.

“I wasn’t asking you!”

“Oh, oh! And two molecules of FADH2!” Peter chimed in.

Tony furrowed his brow. “In a eukaryotic cell, most of the enzymes of the citric acid cycle are located in the…”

“Mitochondrial matrix.”

“At the beginning of glycolysis, pyruvate enters the citric acid cycle—”

“Trick question! Pyruvate is the end product of glycolysis.”

“Damn it.”

“What was that, Mr. Stark?”

“You have to stop collecting the bees on your body.”

“Can do!”

Practically skipping, Peter dashed out the door with Tony close behind him and grumbling under his breath.

With just you and Stephen in the room, you slammed the door closed and secured it with the lock. He cocked an eyebrow. But you rolled your eyes and shook your head.

“I’m just getting changed.”

You quickly stripped out of your t-shirt and sweatpants. After clamoring in your suit, quite gracelessly at that, you threw on your helmet. Practically matching Scott, you gestured to Stephen’s face.

“You going to be okay?”

“Yeah, I’ve been through worse.”

With a smirk, you gave his hand a squeeze just as Scott’s voice crackled through your helmet intercom. 

“Doc, I really hope your dates go better than mine just did.”

“What are you talking about, Scott? I’m not dating anyone.” You strutted out of the room. 

Biting his lip, Stephen followed right on your heels.

“I think this guy is getting tired,” Scott said. “He really brought his A game.”

“Ew, that’s just...I didn’t need to know that.”

“Yeah, I’m just saying that he should be heading home soon.”

“Keep me updated.”

“Will do, Doc.”

Outside the Tower, Natasha erupted flames through the streets as Steve ushered people to find cover from the swarms of agitated bees. Thor stormed through hoards to electrify the masses, allowing the occasional bolt of lightning to prick his brother who followed close on his heels.

Peter coated street lamps in webbing, gathering up ample conglomerations of bees. And never letting Peter out of his sight, Tony joined the tune of Nat’s attacks with his own blowtorches. He fired off any weapon he had that could safely incinerate the insects.

Stephen watched you as you rushed to faze people into safely contained areas. He projected energy blasts to transmute masses of bees into paper cranes.

Unbeknownst to you, Scott switched the channel for his coms. 

“Doc! How long do these guys last?”

“SCOTT!” you chided. “I’m not telling you how long—”

“Pretty sure he was talking to the Green Giant, Trinity,” Tony grunted. 

“Hulk isn’t even here!” Bruce whined.

“Yeah, I’ve just been saving that one for a while now.”

He glanced at Stephen and, after a single nod, swatted at a swarm of bees before taking to the skies. Attracting the attention of a group of bees attacking Steve and Bruce, Stephen joined Tony in the aerial battlefield. 

“This team has too many PhDs.” Tony herded the two swarms of bees together.

“Not like you helped with that,” you said.

“Oh yeah,” Bruce laughed, helping alongside Steve. “I read your dissertation.”

Tony paused. 

“And?”

“Biology isn’t your strong suit.”

“Biology isn’t your strong suit,” Tony mimicked Bruce to himself. His palm erupted in flames as he roasted a few wandering bees. 

“Only six more to go,” Bruce snickered. 

With the swarm on his tail, Tony flew right toward Stephen. The moment he passed the sorcerer, Stephen halted their flight path with an energy blast from the Mirror Dimension.

“Your annotations were sloppy,” Stephen said as he returned to the street.

Tony landed right in front of him. 

“I put that together in FIVE HOURS! Trinity, did you—”

“Yeah, and I’ve got a Masters degree,” Scott snipped. “But will SOMEONE, doctor or not, answer my question!”

“Oh, yeah,” Tony grumbled. “They’ve got about twenty minutes of flight time in them, Hot Shot. At least, according to Google.”

“Didn’t need a PhD for that, Mr. Stark!” Peter gave him a salute.

“Yeah, except you forgot these guys are genetically enhanced,” Bruce added. “I estimate a good forty-five. Me and my seven PhDs.”

“I’ve got the highest IQ of all of us!” Tony protested.

“Yeah, yeah,” Natasha groaned. “You’re a bunch of well-educated idiots.”

She incarcerated a group of bees charging toward Tony’s back.

Painlessly removing the stingers from the bees with his seiðr, Loki chuckled. 

“If Stark is an exemplary measurement of human intelligence, you should all be concerned.”

“He’s got a point,” you said.

Tony whipped his head around. “WHAT?”

“IQ is an antiquated form of measuring intelligence,” you clarified. “It’s a narrow perspective that focuses on only certain aspects of cognitive processing. I’m pretty sure Captain Rogers has double the EQ that you, Loki, and Stephen have combined.”

“Hey, thanks.” Steve smirked. “And you can call me Steve.”

You placed your hand on his back just as a swarm charged toward his chest. When your powers disengaged from his body, he raised his eyebrows at you.

“Thanks again.”

“Don’t mention it,” you panted.

Stephen rolled his eyes as he threw a shield around himself. The attacking swarm turned to ash upon contact with the Eldritch Magic.

“Of course you would value EQ over IQ,” he groaned.

“I’m sorry, Stephen. I couldn’t hear you over the sound of my active medical license.”

“Ouch,” Tony hissed.

“It’s okay, Tony. I’ll just write him a prescription for that burn.”

“Wait, you’re an MD?” Bruce asked. 

“DO,” Stephen snapped back. “And a psychiatrist at that. Not like she’s removing bullets from brains.”

The Cloak of Levitation yanked him out of the line of fire...from Nat’s flamethrower.

“And apparently not the stick from your ass,” she snickered. 

“I’m getting stupider just listening to this conversation,” Loki grumbled. He narrowed his eyes at Thor. “Is this what it’s like for you?”

“When I talk to you? Yes.” Thor grinned. 

But the smile on his face contorted, upon a familiar pain in his side. He yanked the dagger from his abdomen and scowled at Loki.

“I was aiming for the bees.” The (first-rate) sorcerer shrugged.

“Guys,” Scott whispered into your coms, “I’m in the hive.”

“Scott, where the hell are you?” you asked.

“Well, Columbia. There’s a wing of the biological science department that was blocked off because of, well, a bee infestation. Kinda a perfect cover.”

Tony furrowed his brow. “Bruce, didn’t you say the professor—”

“I was...wrong?”

“Is that a question?”

Scott opened his mouth to speak and redirect the ever-wandering attention of your team. But his eyes widened as the drone turned into the laboratory and a professor turned around.

Except it wasn’t Professor Moriarty.

It was…

“Called it,” Scott said. “Bee-Man is a woman.”


	16. Women in STEM Help Each Other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, if you're new around these neck of the woods with my writing, I add the "creator chose not to use warnings" tags because I write as I go and never know what's going to pop up. But for this chapter, I want to give you a heads up that it's a bit more intense than previous ones for this story. 
> 
> Warning for: violence, bomb explosion, suicidal antagonist/minor character, minor character death, Trinity gets injured.

That morning, Dr. Jacqueline Moriarty, Ph.D. rotated a colorful bracelet of bulbous plastic beads in her hand. The sunlight kissed her cheek through the hospital window. 

Standing in front of her, a doctor clasped his hands and cast a remorseful gaze upon her.

“I am so sorry.” He looked down and shook his head. “I truly wish I had better news.”

Tracing the M etched into one of the beads, Dr. Moriarty watched her daughter’s chest rise and fall with the assistance of the ventilator. She tugged at the collar of her turtleneck as the medical doctor cleared his throat and shuffled his feet.

“I know the timing is...unfortunate. But I must ask—”

“Yes.” She snapped her gaze back to him, bringing her russet curls with the turn of her head. “I signed the papers for organ donation weeks ago. Anything that’s usable, take it.”

“I’ll give you a moment then.”

When the doctor left the room, Jacqueline traced her hand over her daughter’s hair. She twirled a chestnut curl and drew in a breath.

“I should have protected you from him...from us.”

She closed her eyes and leaned over, placing her final apology upon her daughter’s forehead.

“I know better than to believe I will see you again, my love. But I wish this life had been kinder to you.”

Blinking away a lingering tear or two, she exited the room. The clicking of her heeled boots filled the hospital hallway; her mind already calculating the trajectory of her new timeline.

When Drone 221 entered her lab, she spun around as a slight smirk ghosted across her lips.

“Did you bring me an Avenger, dear one?”

“Oh no,” Scott whispered. “This is not good.”

“Scott, what’s happening?” you asked.

Dr. Moriarty placed her hands on her knees and leaned down, eclipsing Scott’s view with her face. But before he could return to his normal size, he released a pained groan as another bee pierced his suit with her stinger.

“Doc, I don’t, I don’t feel so good.”

“Scott,” you hissed. “What’s wrong? What’s...SCOTT!”

Panic written across your face, your gaze bolted to Stephen. Just as you opened your mouth to speak, you were hurdling through the streets of New York; nestled in the steadfast confines of two metal arms.

“It’s fine, it’s going to be fine,” Tony reassured. “He’s going to be fine.”

“Who are you convincing?”

“Both of us.”

At her lab, Dr. Moriarty plucked Scott from the drone’s back and placed him in a small containment call that was lined with razor blades. She continued typing away at her computer as he stumbled about on her desk.

Preparing to return to his normal size, she shook her head.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” 

She hit the publish button and peered into the tiny cell.

“I figured they’d send you. At the rate of your size increase, you’ll be in pieces before you’re even tall enough to ride the roller coaster. I don’t condone violence. But this felt effective enough to keep you contained.”

Wincing, she closed her eyes and placed her fingers to her temples. Her mind filled with the sound of buzzing and visions of dances and maps.

Jacqueline pressed her palm to her desk with a gasp.

“What, why you...why are you doing this?” Scott asked.

“This isn’t just me, Mr. Lang. Call this the genius of my husband.”

“You’re setting him up.”

“Men love to say their greatness was all thanks to their wives. But only after they’ve accepted the accolade in their own name.”

She furiously typed away and continued publishing fragments of research, buried in false manifesto, to the internet. 

“He said we would save the world today. That by saving them, we could save the planet. We thought if a man can harness the power of the ants, why couldn’t we do the same and save the bees?”

“This wasn’t, wasn’t me.” Scott shook his head. “I didn’t—”

“I wasn’t talking about you, Mr. Lang. I was referring to Dr. Pym.”

“Right, of course you were.”

“My husband and I completed our politically acceptable research under the safety of the university. But the unconventional...we did on our own.”

“Let me guess,” Scott groaned, “you were married to work.”

“Above all else. We successfully engineered a way to communicate with the bees. But he wanted more and when, when he took things too far, they turned on him. The only solution he could think of was to incinerate them all.”

After publishing the confession, she lowered herself to Scott’s level and shook her head.

“He didn’t know that our daughter entered the lab to ask if he was done with work for the day.”

She returned to the computer and continued typing. “Now, the only thing the world will remember about dear Professor Moriarty’s research is how it terrorized New York City.”

In the hallway, you took off your helmet and handed it to Tony.

“I have to talk to her.”

He disengaged his own helmet just so you could see how much his eyes were bugging out of his head.

“Are you crazy?” he whispered. “You’re not going in there alone.”

“You’re only going to trigger the shit out of her!”

You pressed a finger to his armored chest. 

“Stay here.”

With your hands in the air, you cautiously walked into the lab. 

“Dr. Moriarty. I’m just here to talk.”

“So you’re the rescue team?” She raised her eyebrows. “Running out of super soldiers these days? Well, you’re a little late.”

Jacqueline held up a detonator, ready to end her story as painfully as her husband started it. Your breath caught in your throat as your eyes darted to Scott.

“Doing okay there, Hot Shot?”

“Yeah, um, doing okay. Probably won’t shave for a while.” 

He winced at the razor blades that seemed to be getting closer to him. He could have sworn they were closing in.

Dr. Moriarty rested her hand on the trigger and glared at you.

“When the hive is destroyed and the queen dies, the rest will follow. A little pheromone safeguard I put it when I began this side project. And you and my husband will have your precious city back.”

“I’m here to ask you to end this a different way.”

“By what? Appealing to my heartstrings? Tell me my darling daughter wouldn’t want me to do this if she were here to see me in such a distressed state?”

“No, I’m here to tell you you’re right.”

“What?”

In the hallway, Tony literally had to bite his tongue. But you drew in a breath and raised your eyebrows.

“As another woman in STEM, I can absolutely empathize with how hard you’ve worked to get where you are. We have to work twice as hard just to get in the same room and even once we’re there, we’re constantly trying to prove ourselves. While getting paid half of what our male counterparts make.”

“Your field of study?”

“Mathematics. Number theory.”

“Level of education?”

“Like you, I have a doctorate. I was one of two women in my program.”

“Air gets thin at the top,” she scoffed. 

“But that’s precisely what the system encourages us to believe. So we fear each other instead of helping each other. But I’m here to tell you, Dr. Moriarty, that I would like to help you.”

You cautiously took a step forward and looked into her eyes.

“The pain, the fear, the outrage you’re feeling. It’s all a completely valid response to how life has hurt you. And I am so sorry you ever had to feel this way. I, I believe you. I believe you were wronged.”

With the utmost caution, you outstretched your hand. But to your surprise, Jacqueline placed Scott—but not the detonator—in your hand.

She softly shook her head at you, looking at you with the same expression the doctor gave her that morning.

“I am so sorry,” she breathed. “If only I met you six months ago.”

Tony rushed into the lab just as Dr. Moriarty rammed her thumb on the detonator. He covered the front of your body, simultaneously shielding Scott from the blast.

Adjusting your powers as quickly as you could, you felt like the heat would rip you to pieces. Which, on a molecular level, it was. You channeled as much of your vibration to Scott to ensure he wouldn’t be impaled by the effects of the various C4 Jacqueline placed around the lab...or the razor blades in his confinement.

When the initial impact dissipated, Tony peeled himself from your body. You fazed into the container to retrieve Scott and he was a full grown man in an instant.

Scott glanced between you and Tony. “Everyone okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.” You nodded, tongue tasting like metal.

Suit battered, Tony disengaged his helmet and grimaced at the spot where the doctor once stood. 

“Everyone except for…” He looked at you. “What you said...I, I didn’t know.”

“Kinda how it works,” you grunted.

But Scott and Tony’s eyes widened as you stumbled backward. You smacked your hand to what was left of a countertop and shook your head at them.

“Some-something’s wrong.”

Tony caught you before you completely collapsed to the rubble-covered floor. He scanned your body, asking FRIDAY for any explanation.

But Scott answered when he looked at your backside to see a massive splinter of wood protruding from your low back.

“Get her to a hospital.” He bolted upright and stomped his foot. “NOW.”

“Appears to be a kidney laceration,” FRIDAY added.

Tony took to the skies with you in his arms, securing the splinter so it wouldn’t cause more damage. 

“What do I do?” he asked you. “Tell me, tell me what else I need to do.”

“Tony, I, I’m not a trauma surgeon. I, I don’t know what to do.” 

“Cap,” he barked, “tell the Wizard to meet me at Metro-General. Like, yesterday.”

“Don’t tempt him,” you laughed. “He might actual-actually turn back time.”

You were talking. Good. He just had to keep you talking.

“I’m, um, I’m pretty sure that’s against the rules. He seems like a stickler for rules anyway. Right? You can, um, you can read people.”

“Mmm, mhmm.”

“Hey, hey. Get back here. Don’t tell me I’m boring you already.”

“Give...give me some...better, better material...and maybe…”

“Stay with me, Trinity. Tell me, um, talk to me about my daddy issues.”

“...Lots.”

“I need more words than that, Doc. I’ve got a lot of issues. Help me out here.”

“Mhmm.”

He landed in front of the ER and stormed inside. His brain was firing too fast for his mouth. Eyes darting all around, Tony marched up to the intake counter and disengaged his helmet.

“HELP,” he blurted out. “Her, her kidney...I don’t know, I just—”

“Doctor Palmer!” the nurse called out. 

Christine rushed over and sucked in a breath at the sight of you in Tony’s arms, splinter still protruding from your body.

“Can you transport her with minimal disruption?” she asked.

Tony nodded.

“Come with me.”

In the operating room, Tony placed you facedown on the table as a small team of nurses swarmed around you. Christine emerged with her gloves and mask and nodded to Tony.

“We’ve got it from here.”

“But, I can, I have to…”

“Wait outside. We’ll take care of her. I promise you. This is supposed to be a sterile environment and you’re...less than, just let us do our job.”

After a gulp, Tony started backing out of the operation room. But his backside collided with Stephen as he rushed inside.

“Christine!” Stephen panted, rushing past Tony.

“STEPHEN! GET OUT OF HERE!” 

She hadn’t even made an incision yet and she wasn’t about to deal with Doctor Stephen Strange—former neurosurgeon and budding cult leader—micromanaging her speciality...again.

“Stephen. NOW.”

Tony placed his hand on Stephen’s shoulder and gently, at least as gently as he could, led him out of the operating room. 

Christine furrowed her brow, blinking a few times as she adjusted to a change in the feeling of the air. If only she knew it was a spell Stephen cast to re-sterilize the environment.

But their time apart from you was short lived when Christine came storming into the waiting room.

“What the hell is happening?” She threw out her hands. “I can’t cut into her.”

“What?” Tony, still in his suit sans helmet, whipped his head around.

“Anytime I apply my scalpel to her skin, it just moves right through her...without making a cut.”

“She can faze through solid objects,” Tony stammered. “I, I have no idea how it works—”

Wait, yes he did. Why was he saying this?

“—but it might, you should probably know.”

“How am I supposed to perform surgery on her if I can’t cut into her?” Christine questioned.

Stephen furrowed his brow. 

“It’s a physiological defense. Her body is doing it for her.” He looked at Christine. “I think I can help.”

“You are not taking over my OR.”

“No, I’m just, I’m going to talk to her.”

“We can’t wake her up. Not—”

“I don’t need to.”


	17. Ow, My Kidney

Your body.

You were out of your body.

You were out of your body and Stephen was shaking your shoulders.

“Hey,” he said. “We, we don’t have much time.”

True. Relative. And, in some ways, irrelevant. 

You furrowed your brow as you looked down on the operating table. Nurses, almost as if they were frozen in time, clamored to soak up the blood from your open wound.

“But if I’m here…” You slowly returned your gaze to Stephen. “What happened to Dr. Moriarty?”

“I, I don’t know. I wasn’t there. But I need you to focus. I need you calm do—”

“No, no, Stephen. I-I said awful things to her. I have to, we have to help her.”

You flew out of the operating room and into the hallway. Landing on your feet, you started walking the halls in your astral form. You strode to the nurses’ station and moved the one nurse aside, taking control of her computer.

Stephen jerked his head backward.

What were you doing?

...And how were you doing it?

He called out your name. But your focus was entirely fixated on the computer screen as you typed ‘Jacqueline’ and ‘Moriarty’ only to receive no results. You shook your head and tried again.

“How long does it take for people to get in the system?” You looked at Stephen. “No, you wouldn’t have tolerated administrative tasks. I’ll find her myself.”

You hovered a few feet from the ground and darted toward the operating rooms. But Stephen halted your advances by wrapping his palm around your wrist.

“Listen to me. Out there, you are very much running out of time. You are bleeding out on that table and I need you to—”

You yanked your wrist from his hand. “I need to find her, Stephen. I have to know she’s okay.”

He chased you through hallways, people, and a familiar vending machine. But he tilted his head to the side when you knocked over a child.

“Oops.” 

Before he could go toppling to the floor, you wrapped your arms around the boy’s shoulders and put him upright. 

“That’ll be more comfortable.” 

You smiled before darting toward the operating rooms...the ones that didn’t contain your body.

“You’re not going to be able to help her if you’re DEAD!” Stephen shouted. 

Racing to beat you into OR 4, he took a shortcut and confronted you head-on. Gripping your shoulders as tightly as he could, he looked into your eyes.

“Please, I am...I am begging you. I need you to calm down.”

“That is the least useful thing you could ever say to someone!”

“They’re trying to operate on you but they can’t, you won’t—”

“She took Scott and had him trapped in a container. He couldn’t get to his full size. Tony didn’t want me to go in there but, but I did anyway. And I tried to talk to her, I tried to tell her how—”

“WILL YOU MARRY ME?”

“What?!”

Stephen took a deep breath as your mouth hung open.

“Okay, now that I have your attention, I need you to listen to me. You are bleeding out on that table. You have to calm yourself because your body won’t let them touch you. And if they can’t operate, you are going to die. Do you understand?”

Biting your lip, you slowly nodded.

“I don’t know what happened,” Stephen continued. “Stark...Tony, he hasn’t told me yet. But I need you to focus, to steady yourself, and to stay calm. Because your body is on the defensive.”

“They’re fazing right through me?”

“Yes.”

“I-I didn’t know I could do that.”

“Neither did I. But I need you to calm your mind. Can you do that for me?”

“Will this even work?”

“I don’t know. But you need to try. I need you to try.”

“Okay, Stephen. I-I can do that.”

You followed him back to your operating room. Looking at your body, you drew in a breath and closed your eyes.

“I’m safe,” you breathed.

“Yes, yes you are.”

You flew next to yourself and leaned in to whisper in your ear.

“You are safe. You are worthy. You are loved.”

Stephen furrowed his brow as he watched you soothe yourself. You placed your hand over your upper back and drew in a deep breath.

“I know you’re scared. And that’s okay. But these people are here to help you. Will you let them help you? Will you let them care for you? Please, for me. For us.”

You bit your lip and shook your head.

“You and I are in for a lifetime together. And I would very much like to continue this journey with you. But only if you are willing. Only if you feel safe letting these people help you. But I am here for you. I am with you every step of the way.”

Holding your breath, you looked at Stephen and gave him a nod. With a gulp, he returned the gesture. He threw his upper half into the physical plane and raised his eyebrows at Christine.

“Try again,” he pleaded.

Ignoring the disturbed nurses in the room, she sucked in a breath and placed a lap pad to your open wound. She and Stephen gasped a sigh of relief when the surgical gauze made physical contact with your body.

Stephen returned to the astral plane as Christine began conducting the surgical team in its next steps. Your eyes flickered to him.

“Am I going to die?”

“Eventually, yes.” He avoided your gaze. “But here, now, I...no, you’re not going to die.”

“Do I have to go back?”

“Only if you want to.”

“Stay with me?”

“Absolutely. Just let me tell, um...”

“Oh, poor Tony. Yeah, check in with him. Tell him thank you for me? And that I’m sorry I didn’t listen.”

“It’s...yeah, I will.”

Sitting in the waiting area, Tony leaned his elbow on the armrest of his chair. Cradling his cheek over his knuckles, he tapped a few metal fingers along the mahogany wood.

Two teenage girls across the room hid behind their camera phone, live steaming the entire affair as Iron Man narrowed his eyes at the sleeping guy next to him.

Stephen’s eyes flew open with a gasp. When he jolted awake, the girls giggled and huddled even closer together.

The sorcerer wrinkled his nose and shook his head. Feeling an uncomfortable sensation, he reached for his face before leaning forward and yanking a tissue from the box on the coffee table.

“What the—”

He pressed the tissue to his nose, whipping his head around and glaring at Tony.

“You put straw wrappers up my NOSE?”

Tony and the Cloak of Levitation pointed at each other.

“Is this really how you’re spending your time?” Stephen spat.

“Hey, I’m the one who has to babysit your limp body. Not a sexy look, Doc.”

Stephen rose to feet and rolled his eyes.

“They’re operating on her now.”

“Is she going to be—”

“It’s too early to tell.” Stephen shook his head. “But she says she’s sorry and thanks.”

“Sorry for what?”

“I-I don’t know.” He narrowed his eyes at Tony. “What happened?”

“She tried to talk her down. But the woman was hellbent on going out and taking them down with her. Blew up the lab and—”

“That’s when the bees left.”

“Left?”

“All at once, they stopped attacking people. Flew away as if nothing happened.”

“Bruce say there’d be any lingering effects?”

“Just that they would help the population. Looks like Moriarty got what he wanted.”

“Yeah…” Tony looked down. “I’m sure he did.”

Stephen strode to the observation deck of your operating room. Trusting the Cloak of Levitation to watch over him, he returned to the astral plane to see you already sitting on the front-row bench. 

He took a seat next to you and you rested your head on his shoulder.

“I thought about pursuing surgery,” you whispered.

“Really?”

“For an entire thirty seconds,” you laughed. “Sounded exhausting.”

“It is...was.”

“She’s talented though. Even I can tell.”

With the gentlest of smirks across his lips, Stephen glanced down and nodded.

“She’s one of the best.”

“You two have a history.”

“Observational as always. History is, um, a generous way of phrasing it.”

“Oh, I was talking about a professional history. The way she was unperturbed by you flitting between realities.” You sat upright and smiled at him. “But you just told me the rest.”

With a gentle chuckle, you returned your head to his shoulder. The intercom was turned off but you watched the surgical team compose their medical symphony over your broken body. Stephen carefully studied the monitors, taking note of every increase in blood pressure and heart rate, only relaxing when they returned to an acceptable range.

His trance was broken when you raised your head and traced the side of his face with your hand.

“The answer is no.” You beamed at him.

“What?”

“Your marriage proposal. The answer is no. Tony already has dibs.”

“Dibs?” He furrowed his brow with a smile. “Did you two really—”

“Not dibs on me, Stephen. Dibs on you.”

With a groan, Stephen rolled his eyes and shook his head. 

“Being married to Tony Stark. Now, _that_ sounds exhausting.”

“You would know, Doctor. You’re dating him.”

“How did I end up here?” 

“Goodness, Stephen. You’re a medical professional. But when a sperm meets an egg—”

He elbowed your side and you snickered, planting a kiss upon his cheek. But Stephen’s heart leaped into his throat as Christine nodded to the nurse.

“You’re going to make it off this table,” he murmured. “Get to keep your kidney too.”

“And after that?”

“You’re going to have to take it easy. But you should be fine with a few weeks' rest. Biggest concern was blood loss. But you, you’re going to be fine.”

He hung his head and nodded. Inching closer to him, you wrapped your arm around his shoulder as he buried his face in his hand.

“I should have been there,” he said. “I could have—”

“Stephen, I’m going to be fine. Thanks to you.”

“No.” He swallowed. “Thanks to you.”


	18. Do They Have Jello Here?

When Stephen returned the two of you to your physical bodies, Christine almost handed off the last of your procedure to the surgical resident. But seeing the former neurosurgeon glaring at her from the observation deck, she gulped and finished closing herself.

Breath back in his lungs, Stephen returned to the waiting room. 

Tony finished talking to a nurse and she led two men in suits to God knows where. He raised his eyebrows at Stephen with a nod.

“How, how’s she doing?”

“She’ll be fine. They’re just closing now.”

Tony gritted his teeth to contain the whine in the back of his throat. He shifted on the balls of his feet and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Good. Good. So, um, I’ve got a team to cover her room since we’ve attracted…” 

He gestured to the waiting room filled with curious eyeballs.

“Pretty sure that was your doing,” Stephen said.

“Yeah, I should probably change.” Tony grimaced at his suit. “Practically reconstructed anyway.”

“Are you okay?”

“What?”

“Are, are you okay?” Stephen swallowed. “I forgot to ask.”

“Yeah, I-I’m fine. You?”

“Fine.”

Tony bit his lip and tilted his head to the side. But after a pained moment, he shrugged.

“Well, good talk, Doc. But how long until—”

Still in his suit, Scott stormed into the waiting room and threw out his hands.

“You burgaled me!”

“What?” Tony whipped his head around.

“And by proxy! I went home to pack her a bag of clothes. But apparently, you already sent the Men in Black to do it for her!”

Finally indulging in his vending machine dinner, Tony ripped open a bag of chips and took a bite.

“Well, they didn’t do their job,” he said before swallowing. “Shoulda neuralyzed you.”

“This isn’t a joke! It took me the last two years of my sentence to figure out her birthday. And I was in prison. There wasn’t anything else to do.”

Stephen furrowed his brow. “When is her birthday?”

“You and your PhDs can figure it out.” Scott pointed between them. “But she…”

Glancing around the room, Scott paused and drew in a breath at the sudden audience he accumulated. He jerked his head to the side.

“Can we talk, um, privately?”

Rolling his eyes, Stephen led Scott and Tony to a utility closet. After closing the door, Tony looked around with a smirk.

“Do you people, y’know, have sex in here?”

“No,” Stephen scoffed. “Just...nevermind.”

Digging into a pocket on his belt, Scott handed over Stephen’s sling ring. 

“You really need to keep better track of that thing.”

But he threw up his hands in defense upon the scathing glares of Stephen Strange and Tony Stark.

“She’s going to be fine by the way,” Tony snipped. “Thanks for asking.”

Scott scowled at him. “Well, of course she’s going to be fine. There was no other option. Not after you sent her in there—”

“No, we are not doing this again.” Tony jabbed a finger in his direction. “She insisted on going in there herself. And you heard that woman, she would have set off that bomb the moment I walked in the room.”

“She died?” Stephen asked.

Scott and Tony’s eyes magnetized to the floor.

“Yeah,” Scott said. “Doc, she tried to talk her down from it. But it wasn’t enough. Nothing would have been.”

He put his hands on his hips and drew in a breath. Shaking his head, he looked back at Tony and released an exasperated sigh.

“I’m sorry. It wasn’t your fault.”

“No, it wasn’t.”

“But you sent random suits into her room. She’s the most private person I know and—”

“She’s got a private room here and everyone who comes within ten feet of her  _ or her things _ signed an NDA. And it wasn’t suits. It was Happy. Thought I’d spare you going through her underwear drawer.”

“I’ve done her laundry...Once. I got the gist of it.”

“She’s done yours?” Stephen cocked an eyebrow.

“Well, yeah. She didn’t have enough for a full load.”

Tony crossed his arms. “You two have the least sexual relationship I have ever seen. And she’s gotta get her own place.”

Just as Scott opened his mouth to speak, the door flew open and Christine gasped a sigh of relief.

“Oh, thank God, Stephen. You’re not getting another bl—”

“She’s out?” He glared at her.

“Yeah, she’s, she’s out. Not awake. But she’s heading to that swanky room her boyfriend set up.” Christine looked at Tony. “And there’s a bunch of lawyers with forms?”

“Sign them,” Stephen said.

“Really?” She smirked. “Is she some sort of secre—”

“Christine. Please.”

“Alright. I’ll get the team to sign them.” She raised her eyebrows at Stephen. “I assume you’re not going to follow hospital policy and you’re all just going to barge up there?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Fine. As long as you don’t make anything worse. I’ll let you get back to...whatever you’re doing. ”

She slammed the door closed and threw it back open in an instant.

“Just lock the damn door this time.”

Mouth hanging open, Tony slowly directed his gaze to Stephen. But Stephen shook his head and held up a shaking finger.

“We’re not talking about this. At least...not now.”

He marched out of the utility closet and to your room.

As your body detoxed from the lingering effects of the anesthesia, you woke up with a few gentle rustles and stirs. 

At one point, you swear you saw an ant-sized Scott fluffing your pillow. And a hazy vision of Tony kissing Stephen. Or was it Stephen kissing Tony? Someone was getting kissed and it certainly wasn’t you.

But when you finally returned to the waking world, you blinked your eyes firmly to a darkened hospital room. Illuminated by gently beeping monitors and the hallway lights, you furrowed your brow at the banner hanging above the whiteboard across from your bed.

“Congratulations! It’s a  ~~ boy ~~ Kidney!”

“Oh, Scott.” You smiled and gently rested your head to the side, wincing in discomfort.

“Actually it was Cassie’s idea,” he said, ten-millimeters tall, on your shoulder. “She’ll be here tomorrow if you’re up for it.”

“I’d love that.”

In his street clothes, Tony was slumped back in his designated chair with his mouth hanging open. The exhaustion of the day finally caught up with his body. It would have taken a nuclear missile to wake him.

Physical body asleep and resting his head on Tony’s shoulder, Stephen observed you from the astral plane.

“How do you feel?” Scott whispered.

“Like I got stabbed in the kidney.”

“Right.”

“The doctor...she, she didn’t make it, did she?”

“Doc, it wasn’t your fault. You did everything you could.”

“I said terrible things to her.”

“Terrible? Even through the Gillette squad, I could tell you were saying all the right things.”

“I couldn’t help her, Scott. Everyone knew she was going to prison. I couldn’t give her back her daughter. I told her the words that every woman wants to hear, deserves to hear. But I had nothing to back them.”

“I’m sorry, Doc. But I, I wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for you. So thank you.”

You furrowed your brow. “You’re welcome. I wasn’t going to let her blow up my favorite convict.”

“I love you too. And now I owe Luis 20 bucks.”

With a smirk, you leaned your head back and nestled into your amply plumped pillow. 

“Stephen, I can feel you staring at me.”

He returned to his body and carefully peeled himself from Tony. Leaning over the side of your hospital bed, he looked at you with wide eyes.

“Can you really?”

“No,” you laughed quietly. “I just figured you wouldn’t be able to sleep.”

“Your powers. You were able to manipulate the material realm in your astral form.”

“Stephen.”

“Is that not normal?” Scott asked. 

“No, it’s...unique.” He redirected his focus to you. “How did you do it?”

“Stephen, my kidney hurts.”

He looked down and drew in a breath. “I’m sorry. How’s your pain?”

“No, I’m sorry. I’m not like you guys. I can’t just—”

“A number.”

“Like a...5?”

“So about an 8?”

Gritting your teeth, you closed your eyes and nodded. He cautiously leaned over you and placed his fingers over the controls to your IV. 

After adjusting your medication, Stephen returned to your side. But not before pressing his lips to the side of your face. 

“You’re not supposed to lie about the pain scale,” he murmured. “You should know better.”

When he retracted, you shook your head. 

“More.” You reached out for him. 

Scott started climbing down from your bed. 

“I’m just gonna…”

But Stephen only smirked. 

“No.”

“What? But ravishing patient...no, doctor’s orders.”

“Do you think you could hold down any food?”

“Did I vomit? Is that why you won’t kiss me? Because I’m disgusting?”

“Yes and no. You made Christine’s day.”

“I puked all over her?”

“Putting it mildly.”

“I don’t remember that at all.”

“Yeah...she does.”

You bit your lip. “Does she know? About…”

“No.”

“Good.”

“I...I agree.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Are you in love with her?”

“What was that about your aching kidney?”

With a snore, Tony jolted himself awake. His eyes darted around the room to recalibrate. But when he saw you talking to Stephen, a grin crept across his lips.

Scott returned to his full size and squeezed your hand. 

“I’ll give you a moment?”

“Thanks, Scottie.”

Tony leaned in and planted a kiss on the nape of Stephen’s neck. Gentlest of smirks across his lips, Stephen glanced down and shook his head in reply.

“How’s my favorite doctor doing?” Tony sang.

“Favorite?” Stephen glared at him. 

“What? She’s got better technique.”

Sitting on the edge of your bed, Tony leaned over with the utmost caution and gave you a kiss. You threaded your fingers through his hair and returned the gesture with fervor.

“Someone’s enjoying her morphine.” Tony swiped his finger along your nose.

You giggled in confirmation. 

“Am I disgusting?”

“No, I’ve kissed worse.”

“That...doesn’t really answer my question.” You furrowed your brow. “Wait, what technique?” 

Stephen yanked Tony off your bed and glared at him. 

“Do they have jello in this place?” Tony grinned.

“Oh my God, Stephen.” You stared at him with your mouth hanging open. “Did you—”

“I’m going to find you something to eat.” He marched out of the room.

Tony winked at you and sat back down on the edge of your bed. 

“While I was asleep?” You scrunched your face. “You could have at least woken me up.”

“How high are you?”

“Was it bad?”

“No, Doc. It was not. But I’ve got a feeling he’s a lot of fun when he’s jealous.”

“Heh, yeah. Make him work for it. He deserves it.”

“No, Trinity.” Tony rested his hand on your shoulder. “I do.”

“Oh, speaking of I Do’s, Stephen asked me to marry him.”

“He what?!”

But Tony was shamelessly smacked on the side of the face with a jello cup. 

Lime, his second flavor preference, for the record. 

“I had to say something to shut her up,” Stephen grumbled.

With a wave of his hand, the lid to your jello disappeared. He stabbed it with a spoon before handing it to you.

“Look, Tony. They do have jello.”

You handed him your food.

“That’s not for you!” Stephen protested. 

“But I’m not hungry. And Tony wanted jello.”

Stephen threw his head back and groaned as Tony accepted your offer with a grin. 

“You’ve got great bedside manner.” He wiggled his eyebrows. 

“Thanks. I’m a doctor.” You beamed at him. 

“Me too.” Tony took a bite of jello and turned to Stephen, spoon still hanging from his mouth. “Just how much did you give her?” 

“I might have been a bit generous.”

“Hey, what time is it?” you asked. 

“I believe he said that time is relative.” Tony massacred the jello with his spoon. “But for the rest of the plebs it’s 2:37.”

“2:30 in the morning and everyone is getting a blowjob but me,” you pouted. 

Tony nearly choked. 

Nearly.

“Is that what you want?” He waved the spoon at you. “You want one of us to suck your dick?”

“And I’m out!” Scott backed out of the room...again. 

“Which one of us, Trinity? Which one of us do you want?” Tony smirked and nodded to Stephen. “Can we keep her like this?”

“NO.”

Stephen crossed his arms.

“Hey, I’m hungry.” You furrowed your brow. “Tony, where’d you get that?”

“And we lost focus.” He handed you back your jello. But when you reached for the cup, he retracted it and held up a finger. “Who’s better in bed? Me or the Wizard?”

“Me, definitely me.” You smiled.

Tony snickered and looked at Stephen. “I think our cockiness rubbed off on her. Literally.”

Stephen rolled his eyes.

With a grin, Tony handed you the jello. As you began picking at it, but not eating, he cocked an eyebrow.

“Last night on Earth.”

“Oh, God,” Stephen groaned.

“No, no, hear me out. Last night on Earth and you can only have sex with Iron Man.” He gestured to himself. “Or Sorcerer Supremey so dreamy.”

“Obviously the dreamy guy. That’s a way better sell.”

“Yeah, I really gotta work on that filter.”

“Are you hungry?” Stephen asked.

“Yeah, but—” Tony started.

“I wasn’t asking you.”

You wrinkled your nose at your jello. 

“No, people keep giving me jello. Where is this coming from?”

Tony relieved you of the mysterious jello and set it aside. 

“You look tired.”

“I am tired.”

“Alright, Trinity.” He leaned in and pecked your cheek. “You rest up. You’ve got a big day tomorrow. And if you need a blowjob, ask Stephen. He won’t disappoint.”


	19. Congratulations, It's a Kidney!

Three days into his three-year sentence at San Quentin State Prison, Scott picked at his breakfast with a scowl on his face. Sitting across from him, Luis set down his fork.

“Something on your mind, Cellie?”

“I’ve been served.”

“You got extra helpings? Took me, like, three weeks to—”

“Divorce papers.”

“Oh, damn. Scott, that’s...I’m sorry, man.”

“Is what it is.”

Scott looked down and fixated all his attention on assaulting his breakfast. But his scrambled eggs received a reprieve when Luis slowly raised his gaze with his jaw hanging open.

“Prisoner 121758584,” the guard cleared his throat. 

“Um, no I think I’m Prisoner 121758585. Or was it 563? How do you keep track of these numbers?”

“Come with me.”

With a huff, Scott shoved his breakfast across the table. He slowly rose to his feet. But Luis smacked his hand next to his tray and pointed a finger.

“Ohhh, you’re gonna go meet the doc!”

“Doctor? But I’m not sick.”

The guard spun him around and led him away from Luis.

“Good luck in there!” Luis called out. “She’s super fine!”

“Super fine? Yeah, right,” Scott muttered. 

Throwing open the door to your office, the guard tossed Scott inside. He glanced around the room, barren decor matching the rest of the prison. Everything was so beige.

Taking a step toward your desk, Scott furrowed his brow at the diploma on the wall.

_Doctor of Osteopathic Medicine_

With your feet on your desk, you flipped the page of your book. Scott examined the cover and tilted his head to the side.

“You know Python?”

“Just brushing up.” 

“I’ve got a master’s degree in electrical engineering. That’s not a book you read to ‘just brush up’.”

You tossed the book on your desk. Which, for the record, was two metal filing cabinets with a slab of wood on top. Setting your feet on the floor, you yanked open one of your bottom drawers.

“I’ve got cherry, blueberry, or...brown sugar cinnamon. Out of s’mores though.”

“I’m sorry.” Scott leaned forward. “But what’s going on?”

“Pop-Tart, Mr. Lang. Do you want one?”

“Scott. And, uh, sure?” 

“Question or answer?”

“Yeah, sure. I’ll, uh, take a Pop-Tart.”

Taking a seat in the metal chair on the other side of your desk, Scott tried to scoot it forward. But it was bolted to the floor.

“Flavor?” you asked.

“Surprise me.”

Accurately predicting his preference, you tossed him a brown sugar cinnamon Pop-Tart and slammed the drawer closed. You rested your hands on your stomach and leaned back in your chair.

“I’ve got some soda. But as a medical professional, I probably shouldn’t enable you to consume so much sugar first thing in the morning.”

“I’ll take it,” he said through a mouthful of Pop-Tart.

With a shrug, you tossed him a Dr. Pepper. Scott cracked open the can and set the Pop-Tart on your desk.

“I don’t mean to be rude...but what the hell is going on?” He cleared his throat. “Your honor.”

“Not a judge, Scott.” 

“Yeah, I don’t know why I said that.”

Clasping your hands, you leaned over your desk and smiled at him. But Scott only cocked an eyebrow.

“So you’re what? A shrink?”

“If you prefer the terminology.”

“And I’m supposed to believe that the prison system suddenly cares so much about the mental health of a bunch of criminals?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Scott.” You crossed your arms and leaned back. “They don’t care. But I do.”

“And just who the hell are you?” He slammed his eyes closed and shook his head. “I’m sorry. You seem like a lovely person. I’m just not in the best headspace today.”

“Would you like to talk about it?”

“Well, I just got...wait, no. Is this what you do? Make people feel all cozy then get up in their heads?”

“Only if they want me there.”

“Are you trying to get a confession out of me? Because I already—”

“Scott.” You held up your hand. “I meet with every new inmate. It’s a protocol that I put in place the moment I got here. Said it would help identify any potentially violent offenders. You know, just in case.”

After a gulp, Scott glanced at the security cameras in the corners of your office. But you shook your head and chuckled.

“I busted them about...a week? I think it was a week after I got here.” You shrugged. “Just hasn’t been in the budget to get them fixed.”

“Who are you?”

“My apologies. Appears I’m the rude one.”

You leaned over the desk to shake his hand and introduce yourself. Taking your seat, you drew in a breath.

“You’ve got an hour with me, Mr. Lang. And I am, quite frankly, indifferent to how you use it. You can sit here and down a week’s worth of sugar in silence or we can talk. About what? I don’t care. It’s your hour.”

“You do this with...everyone?”

“Yes. Truthfully, most of you don’t deserve to be in here.”

“Well, I’m guilty. I’m not even going to try—”

“I didn’t say that you didn’t break the law. Merely that many of the inmates here had no choice other than to resort to a life of crime. The problem is with the law and the system. Not necessarily with the people inside the prisons.”

You set your feet up on your desk.

“As a modern-day Robin Hood, Mr. Lang, surely you can understand.”

“Wait, just what exactly do you do around here?”

“I help people heal themselves. Give you tools to understand your inner world so you can give yourself the care you didn’t receive, but still deserve. If medication happens to be a part of that regime of care, I make sure you have access to it.”

“You really meant what you said.”

“Yes, Scott. I did.”

Furrowing his brow, Scott glanced to the side. But after a moment, a smirk crept across his lips.

“So you’re like...scamming the system and actually helping to rehabilitate people?”

“If the system’s a sham?” You shrugged. “I will tell you, like I tell everyone, that I tend to move around. But I’ll give you notice when I’m, for lack of better terms, getting stationed elsewhere.”

“You’re saying I shouldn’t get too attached?”

“No, I’m just telling you how my practice works.”

“So everything I tell you really will stay between you and me?” He nodded to the useless security cameras.

“Confidentiality is one of my greatest values.”

“That’s, um, good to know.”

“Anything on your mind?”

“No, nah, it’s nothing.”

“I believe you.”

“What?”

“I believe you. I’m not here to force you or push you to talk to me. But if you need me, I’m here.”

“I never thought about talking to a shrink. But this definitely isn’t what I expected.”

“I’ll let you in on a secret, Mr. Lang. I’m not like most shrinks.”

“Not like most people.” Scott shifted in his chair. “It’s been I don’t know how long since someone’s treated me like I’m more than a criminal. Other than, y’know, Luis...or, um, Cassie.”

“Yes, Scott. I know.”

“So if I wanna talk to you in the future…you know, just in case I need help writing code to hack into the security system...”

He gestured to the book on your desk.

“Just fake a hysterical breakdown and I’ll be there. Just hope it’s before they sedate you.”

“Oh, God. I don’t know—”

“I’m kidding. Let me know now and we’ll get something on the books. I’ll find an excuse to pull you aside.”

“I think, um, I think I’d like that.”

You pulled out your planner and flipped through the pages. 

“Next week?”

“Sure?”

“Question or answer, Scott?”

“Next week sounds great.”

“Got you for Thursday at 11.”

Scott cocked an eyebrow at your, according to his perspective, upside down scheduling system.

“That’s not my inmate number.”

“Nope, but it’s your number with me.” You slammed the book closed and tossed it back in its designated drawer. “It’s utterly unreadable to anyone else.”

Scott narrowed his eyes at you. For everything he expected about his prison sentence, you certainly were the most peculiar of all things he encountered in his 2.2 days here. 

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked. “Here at San Quentin? You clearly don’t belong in this place.”

“I don’t know, Mr. Lang. What are _you_ doing at San Quentin State Prison?”

“I’m just trying to do the right thing.” Tony paced the hospital hallway on his phone. “Fund all their research. But don’t say where the money came from. Keep it anonymous.”

Scott, Cassie, and Luis dashed down the hallway with ample supplies in hand. But Tony held up a finger, silently asking them to pause their party proceedings.

“Yeah, sounds great. Okay, bye.”

He put his phone in his back pocket.

“She’s in there with the doctor.”

“Like the magical, fancy doctor?” Luis asked.

“No, the actual medical doctor.”

“I heard that,” Stephen said, walking up behind Tony. “They said they could discharge her today.”

“Why do I have a feeling that’s not happening?” Tony glanced over his shoulder.

“Well look at that. Your deductive skills are finally improving.”

With a deadpan expression, Tony redirected his gaze to the Party Planning Committee. 

“Watchu got there?”

“Kidney bean salad.” Luis held up a container.

“Cashews. Jelly beans.” Scott raised his bags. “And spinach. Because I hear it’s good for kidney health.”

“You brought a bag of pre-washed spinach to a party?” Tony cocked an eyebrow.

“Well, I thought if we set it next to her, she could absorb its essence...or something.”

“Or something,” Stephen grumbled.

Taking a step forward, Tony got down on one knee and grinned at Cassie.

“And what do you have there?”

She threw open the box to reveal a dozen cupcakes, each adorned with a red or pink pair of jelly beans. But Tony pointed to the one cupcake with a single jelly bean.

“She could have lost that kidney and still lived,” Cassie explained. “I think it’s important to have perspective.”

Tony raised his eyebrows at Scott.

“Hey.” Scott shrugged. “You heard her. She’s in charge today.”

“Even if she lost one kidney, she’d only lose twenty-five percent of her functionality.” Cassie pursed her lips.

Stephen furrowed his brow. “That’s actually correct.”

“I did research.”

“Alright, kiddo.” Tony sprang upright. “Lemme check on our patient and you can get everything set up.”

Before he headed into your room, Stephen rested his hand on Tony’s shoulder.

“She has no idea they’re doing this?”

“Nope.”

Tony threw open the door to your room just as Christine’s gaze darted to the floor. The surgeon shifted her weight and tucked her hair behind her ear.

“Um, ten to fourteen days?” she stammered. “As long as it’s nothing too strenuous.”

“Good to know,” you said, freshly showered and in your Ant-Man t-shirt.

“Are there any other questions I can answer for you?”

“No, Dr. Palmer. You’ve been incredibly helpful. Thank you, for everything.” 

“Wonderful.” She spun around and darted out of the room.

“Better make it twenty.” Tony winked at you. “You did ask her how soon you could have sex, right?”

“I’m already counting down the days.”

“If it’s a blowjob, I bet you could make it seven.”

“What?”

“You don’t remember a thing from this morning, do you?”

“Something I missed?”

“Ask Stephen.” He sat on the edge of your bed and grinned. “Feel like having a few visitors?”

“Cassie’s here?”

“And here I thought you were excited to see me.”

“Tony! Let them in!”

Patting your knee, Tony got up from your bed and ushered in the party crew. You beamed at Cassie and extended your arms.

“How’s my favorite entomologist?”

“I found an acorn weevil!”

“Acorn weevil? That’s not a type of ant.” Scott looked at Luis. “At least, I don’t think it is.”

“Nah, man. It’s a beetle. Got this big ass nose and lays its eggs in acorns.”

“And they burrow under the ground until their adults,” Cassie added.

From the doorway, Tony crossed his arms and murmured to Stephen. 

“I’m an adult and sometimes I wanna burrow under the ground.”

As Stephen chuckled, Tony could feel the heat of his breath across his neck. But they both remained otherwise fixated on the scene in front of them.

“And what do you have here?” you asked.

“Well, we wanted to celebrate your second coming.” Scott started arranging the food on your hospital tray and end table. 

Cassie leaped onto your bed and nestled next to you. She handed you the cupcake with a single jelly bean on top.

“For perspective?” You raised your eyebrows.

“See?” Cassie gestured to you and looked at Tony. “She understands.”

“If I’m not mistaken,” Stephen chuckled into Tony’s ear, “that’s the second Lang you’ve taken a verbal beating from.”

“I’m getting sassed by a ten-year-old.”

“Today’s a good day.” Stephen patted him on the shoulder before entering the room.

You swiped some frosting from your cupcake with your index finger. Smiling at Stephen, you offered it to him.

“Homemade buttercream. Looks like we have a professional baker in our midst.”

Stephen slowly looked at Cassie, unsure of what pseudo praise he was supposed to offer. Interactions with the kid were probably best left to you or Tony. But Cassie saved him from his discomfort by pointing to Scott.

“Wasn’t me. It was the World’s Greatest Grandma.”

“And me!” Luis gestured to himself. “Woulda used that cheap-ass butter if I hadn’t stepped in. Doc gets the good shit.”

As Scott pulled out a notepad, Stephen accepted the buttercream from your finger. When Cassie was studying Scott’s notes, he inserted your finger into his mouth and licked it clean.

“Well done,” he murmured.

You bit your lip and grinned. But before your gaze could linger on the sorcerer for too long, you whipped your head around and glared at Cassie.

“You’re not charging Luis?”

“Oh no, I am.” She nodded. “We just invoice him at the end of the month.”

Scott raised the notepad to reveal the month’s tallies.

“He’s down from last month.”

“Damn, I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing,” Luis said.

“And we’re closing the gap.” 

Scott raised his eyebrows and added another tally.

But everyone looked up as Tony called out into the hallway.

“Yeah, she’s in here!”

Before you could ask Stephen for an explanation, Peter crept into the room with a small bouquet of irises in hand. He handed them to you and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Congratulations on...not dying?”

“Thank you?” You accepted his gift with a chuckle. “If you ever need help studying for biology, Stephen and I would be happy to help you.”

“What?” Stephen’s eyes darted to you.

“Or not? You don’t have to. I can do it on my own.”

“No, no. I-I can help.”

“Well thanks, Dr…”

“Just call me Doc. Everyone else does.” You offered him a cupcake. “Made by the World’s Greatest Grandma.”

Peter accepted your treat with a smirk. He plucked a jelly bean from the top and popped it in his mouth.

“You know, you could still survive with one kidney.”

“That’s what I’ve been saying!” Cassie beamed at him.

Peter extended his hand to her with a grin. “Hi, I’m Peter.”

“Cassie.”

Taking his cupcake with him, Peter stepped aside and Cassie looked at Scott. He rolled his eyes and sighed.

“Yes, go talk to Spider Man.” He crossed his arms as she darted from your bed. “Since you’ve apparently outgrown ants.”

“She could never outgrow you, Scott.” You smiled at him. “She will always need her dad.”

Stephen sat on the edge of your bed as Bruce and Steve entered the room. 

Hands on his hips, Steve nodded to you.

“I wanted to say thank you. For everything you did to stop the bees from terrorizing the city.”

“You’re welcome.”

“We were able to retrieve some of her research,” Bruce added. “It’s actually going to really help people.”

You opened your mouth to speak, but Steve cut you off.

“Why don’t you want to take any credit for it?”

“I prefer to keep a low-profile existence.”

“Cap, lay off,” Tony said, closing the door to your room.

“I can empathize.” Steve crossed his arms. “But that’s going to get harder with the work we do.”

“Honestly, I never really wanted to get involved.”

“You worked at a prison before? That’s how you met…” Steve nodded to Scott and Luis.

“Are you calling me a criminal?” Scott tilted his head to the side.

“Aren’t you?” Stephen asked.

“I mean, yeah. But it’s not something you just call out.” Scott pouted his lip. “Rude.”

“Yes,” you answered Steve. “After Scott was released, I moved around. And when he made the news with, well, you, I reached out and that’s how we ended up here.”

“Your last name…” Bruce furrowed his brow. “Any relation to…”

“Who?” You drew in a breath and smiled.

“No, nevermind.” 

As Bruce narrowed his eyes, Tony stepped in front of you and held up his hands. 

“This conversation is over. She did a great thing. Got hurt in the process. You’re here to say thanks and that’s it.”

“I don’t remember taking orders from you.” Steve cocked an eyebrow.

“When it comes to her, you do. So help me God. I will have no problem getting the Wizard to magic your ass out of here.”

“Can’t take care of your own problems?”

“Oh, I can. He just looks way better doing it.”

“Tony, it’s fine,” you interrupted. 

“No, it’s not!” He turned around to face you. “You like to live off the grid. Growing up under a microscope, I get it! If I could get out of the public eye, I would.”

“Says the guy who names everything after himself,” Bruce scoffed.

“It’s called branding, dumbass. And you should know how it feels to have everyone watching and criticizing your every move.”

Steve cleared his throat. “Well, that begs the question—” 

But before he could finish the sentence, Steve and Bruce were standing outside the zoo…

...In Buffalo, New York.

Everyone turned their heads to Stephen. 

“What?” He glanced around the room. “I do look good.”


	20. Moving On Up

The next day, you strode into the kitchen and hiked up the back of your shirt. 

“Scott, can you look at my stitches? I think something’s wrong.”

“Yeah.” He set down his mug. “What stitches?”

“From, you know, my surgery…”

Rising to his feet, Scott walked around the kitchen table to get a closer look at your lower back.

“You have a scar.”

“Yeah, I know it will scar.”

“No, present tense. You have a scar. You’re healed up.”

“What?” You tried to look over your shoulder. “That doesn’t make sense. Dr. Palmer said it’d be at least a week until—”

“Ghost said her cells ripped apart and stitched themselves back together. It looks like yours did the same...but just for your injuries.”

You shoved down your shirt and spun around.

“So that means what? I have accelerated healing?

“Looks like it?”

“Question or answer, Scott?”

“Both.” He shrugged. “Have you ever been injured before? Broke a leg or—”

“No!”

“Okay, okay.” He held up his hands. “No need to get snippy with me. Miss your boyfriends?”

“Scott. How many times do I have to tell you—”

“They’re not your boyfriends. Fine. Maybe one of them can take a look at you and give you more information. Because I’m taking the day off from the superhero stuff.”

“This isn’t superhero stuff. This is my kidney.”

“Yeah, your perfectly healthy kidney.”

“Scott!”

“Doc! Business is slow for the New York branch of X-Con. Dave and Kurt are fine back in San Francisco. But Luis needs me today. We’re putting together a new proposal and we gotta land this client.”

He took a sip of coffee as your eyes bugged out.

“You’ve got two very capable men who I’m sure would love to get a good look at your...kidney.”

“Since when have they ever been considered capable in your book?”

“Since...today?”

“Scott,” you whined. 

“Look, if it’s anything serious, you call me. But it looks to me like you’re fine. More than fine if you can be so pissed at me.”

He swiped your phone from the table. But before you could protest, he dialed Tony. 

“Oops, it’s ringing.”

He tossed it to you.

“Scott!”

“Wrong number or wrong guy, Trinity. How many Vicodin did you take?”

“I’m not on drugs. And I didn’t call you.”

“Mmm, according to my system, which we both know is more reliable than your phone, you did.”

Scott yanked the phone from you.

“Hey, Tony. It’s Scott. She looks like she’s all healed up now. But can you or the doctor guy take a look because I gotta go into work today. You know how it is running a business.”

“What the fuck?”

“Between you and me,” Scott whispered, “she’s kinda freaking out.”

“I am not!”

You stole your phone back from him. 

“Tony, I’m so sorry. Please ignore this.”

You ended the call.

“Scott, you asshole!”

“Hey. Name calling.”

“You shouldn’t have called him.”

Scott threw his laptop in his backpack and grabbed his keys. He took one more sip of coffee before nodding to you.

“You’re gonna be fine. Call if there’s an emergency.”

He pecked you on the lips and walked to the door. But face paling, he turned around.

“Did I just…”

“Yes.” You grimaced.

“Oh no…We’ve been living together for a while now.”

“Maybe too long?”

“We’ll talk about this when I get home. Sorry for...y’know. I’ll, um, never again?”

“Never again.”

Just as you turned around, a portal opened in your living room; revealing Stephen and Tony on the other side. 

“I really need to get my own place.”

“Finally,” they said.

Tony and Stephen hopped into your living room as you dashed to your bedroom. Cocking an eyebrow, Tony looked at Stephen.

“She’s not supposed to be running?”

“No.”

Stephen chased after you. 

As you threw yourself to your knees, you started reaching underneath your bed. But Stephen hooked his hands under your arms and guided you upright. 

“Let’s just get a look at—”

“Oh my God,” Tony groaned. “Do you keep your money under your mattress?”

“No!”

Stephen raised your shirt to examine you.

“I keep it in briefcases under my mattress.”

“This can’t be happening to me.” Tony put his palm to his forehead.

“Yeah,” Stephen grumbled. “That’s what I said about you.”

He took a step back and you unfurled your shirt. 

“Well?” You turned around.

“You look fine.” Stephen furrowed his brow. “I put you at least five days ahead of where you should be. But we won’t know unless we get a look inside.”

He pulled out his phone. 

“I’m getting you an MRI.”

“You can’t do that.”

But he drew in a breath and grinned. “Christine.”

“Oh, that poor woman.” Tony shook his head as Stephen exited your bedroom. 

You started to bend down. But Tony hooked his arm around yours and led you upright. 

“Looking for your tinfoil hat?”

“I’m not crazy!”

“If it’s banks, there’s always credit unions.”

“It’s not that I don’t trust them. I just, Tony! Don’t give me shit about this.”

“I literally have an electronic payment method named after me. There has got to be a better solution than you hiding...wait, just how much do you have down there?”

You gulped. 

“Trinity, please tell me you do not have your entire life savings under your mattress.”

“I mean, not my entire—”

“Oh my God!”

He threw himself to his hands and knees. One by one, Tony started yanking briefcases out from underneath your bed. 

By the fifth, Stephen returned to your bedroom. 

“We should…” 

His gaze trailed downward. 

“How much do you have in each of these?” Tony grunted, reaching farther underneath your bed frame. 

“Stephen…” You raised your eyebrows. 

“What?” He snapped his gaze to you. “Oh, right. We should head over to the...hospital…”

Tony popped to his feet and threw one of the briefcases on your bed. He cocked an eyebrow.

“A three-digit code? That’s your security system for your entire life’s savings?”

“It’s a different one for each of them,” you defended.

“Which was the first one you grabbed?” Stephen asked.

Tony pointed to one of the cases.

“What are you two doing?! We have to get to the hospital!”

“Yeah, Doc said your kidney looked fine.” Tony busted the lock. He threw open the briefcase. “JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.”

“Where did you get all of this money?” Stephen asked, successfully guessing 177 for your current code of choice.

“I don’t know. My expenses have always been low. I don’t buy fancy tech or travel or do anything. I just saved a lot and—”

“Trinity, there’s a million dollars in each of these.” Tony rifled through the bundles of bills. “Who the hell did you kill?”

“My chance at a decent interest rate?”

“Considering the company you keep, I’m more interested in who you robbed.” Stephen’s eyes widened at the cash neatly tucked away in the briefcase.

“Burgaled,” Tony corrected.

“What?”

“Robbed implies violence and, as we’ve seen, she’s not a very violent person.”

“Guys.” You crossed your arms.

“Right, Trinity. Gee, stop getting distracted.”

Tony put his hand on your shoulder. 

“You’re getting your own place. You’re getting a goddamn bank account. And, oh my God. Stephen, are you crying?”

“No.” He closed the case and shoved it away. “I just, I really miss my 401K.”

“Do you think any of us are going to live to retiring age?” Tony asked. 

“No, but it was nice having it there.”

“Stephen, was your pension the most stable, long term relationship you had?” You raised your eyebrows.

“What? No! Just…” He dragged his hand down his face. 

“Just take a case home with you?” You shrugged. “Call her Stella if it’ll make you feel better. Or, I don’t know, Tony.”

“Fuck, Trinity. You were a government employee. For all the research I dug up on you. Which, by the way, leaves a lot of missing pieces. Where did you get ten million dollars from? Does Lang know?”

You shook your head. “I shred his rent checks and pay it all myself. He hasn’t noticed so far. I think he’s just relieved that there’s more in his account and he doesn’t question it.”

“Well, you can buy the damn house and still have fourteen million to spare. Heck, you could pay the guy to play his landlord if you didn’t want to tell him.”

“Stephen.” You furrowed your brow. “Don’t you have a shit ton of medical debt?”

“Wong sends the bills to the Dark Dimension.”

You cocked an eyebrow.

“I send the bills to the Dark Dimension.”

“You’re taking a case. How the hell did they let you step into that hospital?”

“I just don’t go near the billing department?”

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“God, it’s a good thing you’re both pretty.”

“I’ll get my own place.” You put your hands on your hips. “But I’m not getting a bank account.”

Tony wrapped his hands around your arms.

“Trinity, for the love of me, don’t go to sleep on top of twenty-five million dollars every night.”

“Tony, listen to me. I’m not getting a bank account.”

“But you will get your own place?”

As you begrudgingly nodded, Tony huffed an exhale. “I can live with that...for now.”

Sobering back to reality, Stephen rose to his feet. 

“I second that.”

“This is not a democracy.” You scowled at them. “I was going to do this anyway.”

“Sure thing. Let’s go check out that kidney.”

Tony spun you around as Stephen conjured a portal to an all-too-familiar utility closet. Squeezing your shoulders, Tony leaned in to whisper in your ear.

“I’ve got a guy who can—”

“Let’s go, Tony. I have a doctor’s appointment.”

“How did you even get an appointment for a drop-in MRI?” Christine slumped in her chair as she blankly stared at the screen.

“I know someone.” Stephen crossed his arms.

“Stephen, you burned nearly every bridge possible after your accident. Who could you possibly know?”

“I said...someone.”

“You slept with one of the hospital donors didn’t you?" She swiveled in her chair and pointed to Tony. "Or did you set this up?"

“Her kidney, please.” Stephen gestured to the screen.

“You know how to read an MRI.”

Christine slid her chair backward. Rolling his eyes, Stephen took her place and studied the screen. Tony crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. 

“Who you calling in favors to, Wizard?”

Stephen looked over his shoulder.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Yeah, I would. Since I’m not the one who slutted it up with everyone in this room.”

“Oh my God.” Christine looked between them. “Are you two really…”

“She looks fine!” Stephen gestured to the screen with shaking hands. “In case anyone was curious.”

He entered the room to retrieve you from the machine. Christine held up a finger and looked at Tony.

“Wait, you’re with both of them?”

“I’m that good.”

He put his hands in his pockets and grinned.

“Get out of here.”

“It’s true. They even—”

“No.” Christine raised her eyebrows. “I literally mean all of you, get out of here.”

“I hate all of these places!” You threw out your hands. “Can we just get the hell out of here?”

“You said the last place had vaulted ceilings that were too vaulted.” Tony cocked an eyebrow. 

“And the place before that had too many square feet,” Stephen added. 

“So we took you to a shithole to see if that would make you feel more at home and that place was a death trap.”

“And yet, not homely enough.” Stephen raised his eyebrows.

“What can I say? I hate your choices in real estate!”

Stephen bit his lip. “I wonder if my old place is available.”

“Don’t you guys have something better to do with your time? Save the world or prevent the multiverse from collapsing in on itself?”

“Multiverse work isn’t until Thursday. Wong and I are trying a new time-block work schedule.”

“Oh my God. You can literally turn back time.” You dragged your hand down your face. “You’re...what? Forty-five and even you’ve got a roommate?”

“I am not  _ that  _ much older than you.”

“I’ve got at least a good seven years on her.” Tony shrugged. “Which, by the way, when is your birthday, Trinity? Because Shrinky Dink said—”

“Tony, I’m just going to move in with Luis.”

“Then you’ll be in exactly the same predicament you were in. So, as the eldest and the wisest, I’m asking you both to focus so we can come up with a solution here.”

“Says the guy who ate an egg salad sandwich from a gas station.” Stephen wrinkled his nose.

“Now, is that as bad as being the guy who had sex with the guy who ate the cursed egg salad sandwich from the gas station?”

“It was not cursed, Tony.” You glared at him. “There’s no such thing as curses.”

“Actually…”

“Stephen, shut up.”

“Trinity, you said yourself you need to get your own place.” Tony crossed his arms. “We’ve got some of the best minds on the planet in this very apartment with state-of-the-art appliances, open concept, hardwood floors, and—”

“Tony. I’m not buying this place.”

“And apparently not any place. What’s this really about?”

“My living situation is fine.”

“We’ve already established that it’s not. Moving on. Preferably not all the way to the Upper East Side. But we could make it work.”

But you only looked down and swallowed. Walking to the window, you crossed your arms and watched the city zip by on the streets below. It all looked so small. Like a bunch of, well, ants. 

Drawing in a breath, Tony rested his hand on your shoulder. 

“Do you want to move in with one of us?”

“God no!” 

You spun around and swatted his hand away. 

“You’d think I was choosing the best person in bed.” You turned to Stephen. “And you’d think I was choosing the person I was secretly in love with. No, I’m not living with either of you.”

“So what? You’re just going to continue shacking up with Tic-Tac and, oh right, twenty-eight million dollars in cash?”

“Good thing she wouldn’t let the real estate agent give us a tour…” Stephen glanced around the cavernous living room. 

“Yeah,” Tony laughed, “he was excited about a cash offer. I don’t know if he knew how literal that was.”

You started stomping toward the door. But Tony blocked your access and held up his hands. 

“Trinity, talk to me. What the hell is going on? We’re here to help you.”

“You are not my boyfriend, Tony Stark. So why don’t you get back to saving the world because I can figure this out on my own.”

You walked right through him and threw open the door. Which, for the record, was equipped with a top of the line security system that—oh, to hell with it. You were never planning on getting your own place.

Mouth hanging open, Tony looked at Stephen.

“I should have seen that coming.”

“Yeah, that was entirely your fault.”

On the street, you watched a cab speed past you. You shoved your hands in your pockets as you muttered under your breath.

“Getting involved with the Avengers. What the fuck were you thinking? I should have...”

“If you’re looking to get out of here, you’re doing a terrible job hailing a cab.”

“Stephen, I swear to God…”

“I’m pretty sure He respectfully decided to uninvolve Himself in my affairs.”

“Who says God is a man? Because, if so, he’s certainly not you or Tony Stark. Even though you love to think yourselves as such.”

“Wow, you are being an asshole today.”

“Then maybe you should listen to me and leave me the fuck alone.”

“No, because I have to echo Stark’s question. What is your fucking problem?”

“You! You all are my problem. I lived a delightfully quiet existence until...THIS. Maybe...maybe I should move again and—”

“I thought that was the point of all this.”

“And get a job, Stephen.” You glared at him before turning around and shaking your head. “I think Arizona State Prison Complex is hiring. I could get into their system and—”

“You work with violent offenders?”

“I can.”

“You’re not running off to Arizona. You’d hate the heat.”

“You don’t know anything about me, Stephen Strange!”

Tony came storming through the high-rise entrance and threw out his hands.

“You’re right! We don’t. Because you won’t tell us anything.”

“Why won’t you just let us help you?” Stephen asked. “Isn’t that supposed to be part of this whole healing process thing?”

“I told you from the beginning, I’m just as fucked up as the rest of you! Any mental health professional who says they have their shit together is a hack! We’re just as human, just as broken as anyone else. Which is why we have to do our own work if we want any hope of helping anyone else.”

“And who broke you?” Tony bore his eyes into you.

“Scott was right about you all along. You just can’t take no for an answer.”

You turned around and started strutting down the street, throwing the hood of your sweatshirt over your head. Tony started chasing after you. But Stephen yanked on his elbow to keep him in place.

“You’re just going to prove her right.”

“I don’t care!”

But by the time Tony freed himself from the sorcerer’s grasp, you were lost at sea with the rest of New York City.


	21. Quod Erat Demonstrandum

“No, no, Scottie. You gotta know how to—”

“My master’s is in electrical engineering. Not computer science. They’re looking for cyber secur—”

But Scott and Luis looked up when you came stumbling through the dusky office of the X-Con NYC Headquarters.

“Luis, I-I need to talk to you.”

“Whoa, Doc.” Luis raised his eyebrows. “Everything okay?”

Scott looked you up and down.

“Are you drunk?”

“10 points to Gryffindor.” You held up a bottle of vodka.

“Actually, I’m more of a—no! It’s 3 in the afternoon!” Scott yanked the bottle from your hand.

“I went apartment shopping with Tony Stark and Stephen Strange. I-I needed, needing it.”

“Wait, Doc. What do you need me for? Why not Scottie?”

“The apartment!” You pointed to Luis. “I have a questioning for you.”

Scott grabbed ahold of your shoulders and slammed you into the chair designated for clients.

“Whoa, whoa! Go easy!” Luis shouted.

“She’s already healed.”

“Yeah, so you can rougher me up,” you hiccupped. “I used to be able to hand-handle my alcohol better. But I, I don’t do that anymores.”

“You have got to be kidding me.” 

Scott dragged his hand down his face. He crouched in front of you and looked into your glassy eyes.

“I know I’m usually a pretty easy going guy. But this is important to me and you’re being a real—”

“Hold up!” Luis dragged his chair over. Sitting backward on it to face you, he raised his eyebrows at Scott. “This might be a prime opportunity.”

“I never need to see her puke again.”

“Not for, no, ew! Why would I want to see that? No, this might be a prime opportunity for us to get some information.”

“It’s not like she’s got some secret launch codes in her head.”

“She just said she used to be able to handle her alcohol better. When has she ever offered up personal information like that?”

“Luis. Focus. I need you to find another client. Because I have no idea how to code firewall software.”

“Y’need Python or C+++++?” you asked. “Wait, I think I added an extra plus.”

“Or three.” Scott furrowed his brow. “And what do you know about—”

“Computer.”

You staggered upright but fell back to your chair. Before Scott could intervene, Luis shoved his laptop into your lap.

“Man, this screen is shaky.” You blinked a few times. 

“Okay, that’s enough.”

Scott reaches for the machine. But you held up a finger, examining the client requests.

“I could do this.”

“What?!” Scott stared at you.

“Yeah, just gimme twenty…no, probably thirty? I don’t know. Depends on much of this I finish off.”

You yanked the bottle from the desk and took a swig. Setting the laptop on the client’s side of Luis’ desk, you started hammering away at the keyboard. 

“Oh, shit. You never answered my question. I just went for—”

“C++,” Scott said, peering over your shoulder.

“Just for the traffic handling. I’ll use Python for the us-user interface.”

“Is it just me…or does Doc get smarter when she’s drunk? Oh! Is that another superpower thing?”

“Luis!” You spun around. 

“Oh, sorry. I’m distracting you.”

“Do you know of, of anyone looking for a tenant? Like a cash-only kinda situation?”

“Something happened between you two?” 

“It was nothing.” Scott shook his head. 

You continued typing with a giggle.

“You shoulda been there, Luis. Scott kissed me. Full-on domestic smooch.”

“He what?” Hope asked from the doorway.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” Scott slammed his eyes closed. “Hope, it was an accident.”

“How does a person accidentally kiss someone? I knew you two had a thing. Ever since I caught her doing your laundry.”

“Never again.” You held up a finger. 

“Hope, let’s just talk outside.”

Fuming, she mentally started counting down Scott’s thirty seconds to explain himself. He led her into the hallway and you took another gulp of vodka.

Over your shoulder, Luis watched you type away. 

“So are you like some kinda super genius?”

“Wha? I’m not Tony Stark.”

“That’s, that’s not what I asked you.”

“Huh?”

“I’ll just let you work.”

Some minutes later—they all seemed to blend together—you completed your work and threw your hands in the air.

“VistaCorp can suck my dick!”

“Wait, did you, like, apply for a job there or something?” 

“Or something.” 

Slumping in your chair, you polished off the bottle and let it fall to the stained carpet. Luis tried to decipher what was on his screen. 

“So is this some magic computer system that’s gonna—”

“Whoa, whoa, this is just going to cover item 2a on their list. I can take care of the rest ‘er them. Just lemme, lemma take a nap and maybe eat a donut. Do you guys still carry the whatchucallits? OH, does it need to be HIPAA compliant?”

“The pastry?”

“No, the, the security system.”

“They’re a tax firm.”

“Got it. What’s up with your guys’ marketing if you’re getting people who, who want cybersecurity? That’s not really your thing.”

“I know, I know, Doc. But finding clients here has not been easy.”

“This should give you enough proof of concept to, to book ‘em.”

“Can you do the rest?”

“I don’t see why not?”

“Doc! You just got yourself a job!”

He gave you a fist bump. But you lowered your fist and furrowed your brow.

“No, Luis. I don’t need, need a job. I need an apartment.”

“Oh, right! Let me ask around. Until then, you can stay with me?”

“No, we, we’re not having this conversation again.”

“What? We just started…”

“Maybe I could stay here?” You glanced around the room.

“That is not happening, Trinity. I’m getting a bacterial infection just walking through this place.”

As Tony cringed through the doorway, you slammed the laptop closed and spun around.

“That’s a Tony Stark!”

“Mr. Stark, sir. It’s an honor to have you.” Luis threw open the box of stale pastries. “How can I assist you today?”

“Oh!” Your eyes widened.

“These aren’t for you!”

“Don’t ever feed those to anyone.” 

“Right, Mr. Stark. Of course,” Luis tittered and tossed the box aside.

Tony furrowed his brow at the empty vodka bottle on the floor. Wrapping his hand around the side of your face, he leaned in. But instead of kissing you, he drew in a breath and closed his eyes.

“How much have you been drinking?”

“Is Scott okay? I feel, I shouldn’t have…”

“Pretty sure he just finished having sex with some chick in the hallway.”

“Good for Hot Shot.”

You grinned and reached for a fistful of Tony’s shirt. But he wrapped his hands around your ribcage and guided you upward. With a grunt, Tony threw you over his shoulder as you giggled to yourself.

“Ohh now I see what Stephen sees in you.”

You pinched his ass.

Tony’s body jerked in reply, losing his footing just enough to make you faze through him. 

“Oh, God! I’m stepping in her! STEPHEN!”

He scrambled backward and your body returned to its solid existence. Rolling over, you slammed your eyes closed. But after a pained breath, you extended your hand to him.

“Help.”

“So now you know how to accept my help?”

Tony yanked you upright and you rested your palms on his chest, leaning your nose into the crook of his neck. 

“I’m sorry, Tony. I promise I’ll maker it up, up to you.”

You nibbled at his earlobe as Stephen entered the office, scowl abundantly written across his face.

“Great, she’s plastered,” Stephen grumbled.

“Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. Can you just get us out of here? I don’t want to dra—”

But the breath escaped from both your lungs when a portal opened below you. You landed on Tony’s bed with a graceless thud. On the rebound, he grabbed the back of your shirt before you could slam into the floor.

“This place is disgusting.” Stephen wrinkled his nose at Luis before hopping down.

Fisting the front of Tony’s shirt, you pulled him on top of you. You trailed your lips across his neck as he tried to prop himself upright.

“No, we can’t, we’re not—”

“I promise I’ll making this up to you. To you both.”

Stephen crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. As Tony squirmed to peel himself from you, you hooked your heel around the back of his thigh and ground his hips into yours.

“You put yourself wherever you want in me.” You licked a stripe behind his ear.

“God, why aren’t you sober?”

Tony successfully managed to scramble away from you. Chest heaving, he backed away from the bed as you stumbled to your knees. You hooked your fingers underneath the hem of your shirt. But Tony pointed a finger and took a hesitant step forward.

“No! You, you…clothes ON!”

“Or I can just take care of you?”

You reached for his belt. With a whine, Tony sprang backward and glared at Stephen.

“Can you HELP ME with this situation?”

“I already did.”

“Oh, Stephen,” you pouted. “You were right. I am an asshole. Now, would you like to cum inside mine?”

“Aw, fuck me!” Tony dragged his hand down his face. 

“That’s what I’m trying do to!” You looked at Stephen. “Or do you prefer Tony’s?”

“I don’t know why I’m even here.” Stephen rolled his eyes and started strutting away. But Tony spun him around and gestured to you.

“Like it or not, this is our mess. We gotta keep an eye on her until she sobers up.”

“Or what? She’ll just call Loki or Barnes or someone else to screw because she’s clearly unattached to us.”

“She wakes up from surgery in agonizing pain and all she can think about is kissing you. She offered you a million dollars and after a single fight, she apparently has no recollection of healthy coping mechanisms and gets fucking hammered.”

“You were awake for that?”

“Of course I was. So if you can’t see that the woman is practically in love with you and THAT is why we are in this precise situation, that’s on you, dumbass.”

You threw your back to the mattress and whined.

“Of course you two are in love. Now will someone come over here and let me grovel?”

“God, I wish I was recording this.” Tony buried his face in his hand. 

Crouching next to you, Stephen studied your face with a hardened expression. You bit your lip and traced the back of your hand over his cheek.

“You were an asshole,” he said.

“Mhmm.”

“We just wanted to help.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know you are.” He narrowed his eyes. “But why won’t you let us help?”

“Tony’s right.”

“What was that?” Tony snickered down by your feet. “You were right, Tony. We should always listen to you, Tony. You’re the best we’ve ever had in bed and the smartest of us all”

“Heh, it’s a good thing he’s pretty,” you whispered to Stephen. “You know, he bought me a drink once. I don’t think he **—** AH!”

Tony yanked off one of your shoes, using enough force to bring your sock with it.

“Sorry! Just trying to get you comfortable…wait, you have a tattoo?”

“Tattoo?” Stephen looked at him. 

“How did I not know this?”

Tony squinted at the heel of your foot. Three letters were written in a monospace typeface as if imprinted by a typewriter.

QED

“Probably because you’re more concerned with…” With one shoe on, you rolled on your side with a yawn. “Y’know, the rest of me.”

Stephen examined your ink and cocked an eyebrow. But they redirected their gazes to you as you murmured yourself to sleep.

“That which was to be demonstrated…my love for you.”

You woke up to—

“Ow.”

Spinning. Or was it slanted? The world was not aligned properly.

But your skull felt like it would split open when your phone started screaming at you.

“Scott?” 

“What did you do with Luis?”

“I need a donut.”

“You coded a complete, commercially ready firewall software. And apparently it’s HIPAA compliant too.”

“Well, if you knew the answer, why did you ask? And you’re wrong. I don’t, I didn’t do that. It’s a bunch of gibberish right?”

“It runs perfectly and the loading screen is a few ants crawling across it.”

“That must’ve been you.”

“Can you really help us with the rest of this job?”

But you looked upward to see Tony and Stephen standing in the doorway.

“Gotta go, Scottie. Warden’s here.”

Tossing your phone on the nightstand, you plopped your back to the mattress. Tony slid into bed next to you.

“You look like shit.” He bit his lip and grinned. 

“I feel worse.”

Stephen snorted a chuckle.

“Okay,” you groaned. “I deserved that.”

You dragged your hands down your face with a sigh.

“I’m sorry. To both of you. I was a total dick. I don’t even think Scott would have gone apartment hunting with me. But you guys were still willing to help me.”

“Scott’s not having sex with you,” Stephen said.

“Oh, but apparently they do kiss.” 

“One time! It was an accident.”

Stephen furrowed his brow. “How do you accidentally kiss someone?”

“I want a donut,” you whined. 

“I’ll get you a donut, Trinity. If you tell me about your ink.”

“What?”

Tony gestured to your foot.

“Oh, it’s an abbreviation.”

“Knew that.”

“Stands for quod erat demonstrandum.”

“Knew that.”

“You put it at the end of a math proof. It means that which was to be demonstrated. Modernized version is an open square though.”

“Knew that.”

“Then why did you ask?”

“Why’d you get it and who did you get it with?”

“Just, um, just me. After I finished my dissertation.”

“Hm. Sure thing.” He patted your leg and got out of bed. “Let’s go get you that donut.”

“No, I’m, I’m not going anywhere.”

He put a pair of sunglasses on you and wrapped his hand along the side of your face. 

“If you want that donut, you will.”

Tony strutted past Stephen and waved his keys in the air. 

“I’m driving!”

You whimpered to get out of bed and put on your discarded sock and shoe. Crossing his arms, Stephen leaned in the doorway and watched you struggle. 

“You’re a sadist,” you muttered. 

“How long have I known you?”

“About…what? Six months it’s been? You tell me, timelord.”

With your shoe securely in place, you rose to your feet and met him in the doorway. But before you could follow after Tony, Stephen rested his hand on your hip.

Gaze transfixed on you, he slowly raised Tony’s sunglasses so they were resting on top of your head.

“Are you in love with him? With Stark?”

“What? Why would you ask me that? Are you?”

“That’s not…” He cleared his throat. “Nevermind.”

“Okay.”

You shrugged and left to follow Tony. But two steps away, you turned around and placed your palm to Stephen’s chest.

Glancing down, you drew in a breath.

“Do you forgive me? For…being an asshole and then babysitting my drunk ass? I swear, I never get that drunk anymore.”

You slowly raised your gaze to his. Studying your expression, Stephen’s face softened as the slightest smile crept across his lips.

“Yes, I do.”

“Better get used to saying that, Stephen Strange. Just for Tony.”

Your hand trailed upward and into his hair, inviting him into a kiss that he graciously accepted. Stephen had to admit, remorse was a good look on you.

Tony marched back to the doorway.

“That…” He pointed to Stephen with his keys in hand. “Is not a donut.”

“But he tastes even better,” you murmured onto Stephen’s lips.

“Oh, really?” 

Tony strutted over and latched his palms to the sides of Stephen’s face. With a smirk, he leaned in and pressed his lips to Stephen’s to test your theory for himself.

A true scientist, Tony studied the inner workings of the doctor’s mouth. He collected data on the sensation of his tongue, the texture of his teeth, and the way his skin clung to his.

But, having all that he needed for this particular conclusion, Tony withdrew with an even bigger grin.

“We’ll just have to agree to disagree. Now, c’mon. You two can make out in the car.”


	22. I Hate Myself for Loving You

“Okay, when I said I’d drive, this is _not_ what I had in mind.”

Testing the bounds of physics, Tony hurdled around a corner. You smacked your palm to the passenger window.

“Tony!”

“Calm down, Stark. If I get in another accident because of you…”

“You’ll what? Go on a spiritual pilgrimage and become a superhero?”

Adjusting your knees on either side of Stephen’s hips, you grabbed his shoulders for leverage. Your hand slid up his neck and into his hair as your heart rate quickened, riding him in the passenger seat of Tony’s car.

“If we get pulled over,” Tony grumbled, “you’re going to have to talk yourselves out of this.”

“Fine.”

“Maybe they’ll join us,” Stephen snickered.

“Hey! That’s my job!” Tony gripped the steering wheel even tighter. 

“Don’t tempt him. I’m pretty sure he’s dying for us to call him Officer Stark.”

You leaned in to offer Stephen a kiss as you rocked your hips to a satisfying rhythm, trailing your hands underneath his t-shirt with a pleased hum.

“Your street clothes are way more convenient,” you panted.

“For you.”

“For us.”

“For this.” He smirked.

Stephen steadied his hands on your hips, offering as much support as he could as you rode him without abandon. When you reconfigured the angle of your hips and direction of your strokes, he leaned his head back with a satisfied groan.

“Ugh, you’re fogging up my windows! FRIDAY!”

The windows opened a crack and rammed a gust of air in your face.

“Tony!” You dug your nails into the seat. “I was so, God...fuck you!”

“Oh! I know how I can make this fun for myself.” He slammed on the accelerator. “What’s more effective? My mouth or Stephen’s dick?”

You pressed your forehead to Stephen’s as your breath mingled in the tender space between you. His hands trailed to your ass with a grateful squeeze. 

“Ignore him,” Stephen murmured.

Tony snickered to himself as you increased your pace.

“I think you should live with one of us until you find your own place.”

“What?!” You whipped your head around. 

With a grunt, Stephen dug his nails into your skin to deepen his contact. But Tony shook his head and smirked. 

“You’re going to have to try harder than that, man.”

Stephen reached over to smack Tony’s face. But his fingers barely grazed his cheek as Tony jerked his head to the side.

“Dude, keep your hands to yourself. You’re going to get us in an accident.”

“Will you…” Stephen closed his eyes and swallowed. “Shut the fuck up?”

“I mean, we can trade-off. Take his place one week and mine the next.”

“I’m not something you get shared custody—”

Stephen brought your lips to his, effectively silencing your protests. Sliding his hand between your legs, he traced delicate circles over you with a cautious touch. But your pleasure was short-lived when Tony opened his goddamn mouth again.

“You know what we need? Some music.”

He rammed his index finger to the sound system. When lively bluegrass blasted through the speakers, you collapsed your head to Stephen’s chest with a laugh.

“Oh my God, Stephen. I’m so sorry. I-I can’t. I just can’t.”

“Tony,” he whined.

“Alright, alright, but only because you’re so damn pathetic.”

Tony changed the musical selection to _Shake It Off_ by Taylor Swift. He opened his mouth for additional commentary as you resumed fucking Stephen. But the sorcerer held up a finger and glared at him.

“There’s a decent blowjob in your future if you shut the hell up.”

“Two if you change the goddamn music!” you added.

“You know, Stephen, some things are more important than sex. Even to me.”

“She can live with you this week.”

“Stephen! You can’t bargain me away!”

“Of course he will, Trinity.” Tony swerved around a corner, barely gripping the road. “It’s kinda his thing.”

He put his hand to his mouth and mimicked talking into a walkie talkie.

“Er, Tony Stark, I’ve come to bargain.”

“That’s not how…” Stephen shifted his weight and groaned. “That’s not how it happened.”

“More like bargaining to come,” you snickered.

He gritted his teeth. “Don’t encourage him.”

You placed your hand on Stephen’s chest and threw your head back. But as the song changed to _Love Story_ , you slammed your eyes closed and whimpered.

“Tony, I am begging you. Let me have this and I’ll answer one personal question for you.”

“Oh, really?” He raised his eyebrows. “You mean that?”

“Yes, you’re so desperate to get to know me and I’m desperate to get off. So will you please shut the fuck up, turn on some decent music, and let me fuck your boyfriend!”

Grinning ear to ear, Tony pulled into an alley. With the engine still running, he turned on _I Hate Myself for Loving You_ by Joan Jett & The Blackhearts. Tony rested his elbow along the side of his door and turned to appreciate the view.

“I think I like begging over bargaining.”

But your hand was already wrapped along the side of Stephen’s face. You brought him into a kiss, gliding your tongue across his and accelerating the rate of your thrusts. Pulling on his hair, you trailed your lips down his jawline and neck.

“I agree,” Stephen hummed.

Tony’s eyes widened as your ass rocked over Stephen’s jeans. He had to admit the Wizard looked damn good in street clothes; especially when you unbuttoned them to free his cock moments ago.

But, eager to exploit your desperation once again, Tony slumped back in the driver’s seat and started tapping the steering wheel with his index fingers.

Tugging on fistfuls of your shirt, Stephen pulled you closer. You pressed your forehead to his as you exchanged the air between your lips with ragged pants.

Looking into his eyes, your grip around his hair tightened and he barely gave you a nod. After three intentional tilts of your hips, you threw your head back with a gasp.

With sweat adorning your neck, you rode him through your orgasm. Your body shuddered and twitched on top of him without rhythm. Stephen tightened his hold on you and finished with a shameless groan. Tony, for one, appreciated the sound. 

Panting, you slammed your hand to the seat behind Stephen.

“You two are stupid for owning sportscars in New York City.”

“But I thought you wanted a donut?” Tony snickered.

“I do!”

“Which one of us would you marry? If you _had_ to?”

“Is that seriously how you want to waste your one question?”

“Nope, you’re right.”

Tony tore onto the street as you looked at Stephen.

“I have no idea how we’re going to do this.” You gulped. 

“Me neither.”

“If you two jizz up my upholstery, I swear.”

“You’re going to what? Lick it clean?” You smirked.

“Hey, you know what? Fuck you.” Tony’s jaw twitched. “And maybe.”

He parked in front of the bakery and turned off the engine. Throwing on his sunglasses, Tony opened the door and exited the car. 

“When I get back, you better have your own seat.”

He pointed at you. But just as you opened your mouth, Tony poked his head back within view. 

“And NOT the driver’s.”

You wiggled your eyebrows at Stephen. 

“I can’t drive.” He shook his head.

“But we can defile every seat in this car.”

“Animals,” Tony grumbled before slamming the door closed. 

  
That evening, you sat on Tony’s kitchen counter with your feet dangling over the edge. You sipped your wine and smiled as Stephen stood behind him.

“Use a firm grip,” Stephen instructed. “But don’t crush anything.”

Cocking an eyebrow, Tony cautiously rolled the edge of the sushi mat. He followed Stephen’s instructions. But, biting his lip, he glanced backward and drew in a breath.

“Check my pressure, Doc?”

After a hard swallow, Stephen carefully placed his hands over Tony’s. He could feel Tony release an exhale when the trembles of his hands steadied.

“You’re doing great.”

“Hold up.” Tony spun around and grinned. “Did you just compliment me?”

Stephen could only glance upward with a groan.

“Sounded like a compliment to me.” You smirked.

“Is this what you do?” Stephen raised his eyebrows at Tony. “Avoid intimacy with humor?”

“Only according to my shrink.” Tony nodded to you. “Hey, Trinity. Whatchu got there?”

With a grin, you handed him a radish in the shape of a flower.

“I’ve got a few more.”

“Damn, you weren’t kidding when you said you know how to use a knife.”

“Not my first time making sushi.”

“Is that so?”

You took a sip of wine and shrugged.

With a sigh, Tony looked at Stephen and the slightest smile tugged at the corner of his lip. He took a bite of the radish and swallowed.

“I like a little zest.”

Stephen huffed an exhale and took your glass of wine. After a sip, he leaned against the counter next to you and Tony resumed his work.

“Confession time, Trinity.”

You raised your eyebrows.

“When did I buy you a drink?” 

“What?”

“When did I buy you a drink? I don’t remember you.”

“Well, that’s just flattering. But you don’t remember because it never happened.”

“Oh c’mon. I heard you whisper sweet nothings into Stephen’s ear.”

“When I was drunk?”

Tony nodded and you drew in a breath.

“A few years ago, I was at a bar and a guy approached me. Said he was Tony Stark and that he was looking for a brilliant mind to dazzle his, well, not his mind.

“He thought there were more numbers between 0 and 2 than between 0 and 1. When I said that wasn’t true, he told me I was wrong. So I asked him to prove it. And to do so, he quoted _The Fault in Our Stars._

“So I wrote him a correct proof to show him that there are infinite numbers between 0 and 1 and there are infinite numbers between 0 and 2. Therefore there are an equal number between both sets and that’s when the conversation ended.

“It’s basic math. So he clearly wasn’t you.”

“God, you are a nerd.” Tony took the glass from Stephen and downed the rest of your wine. “You know, Carl Friedrich Gauss said ‘mathematics is the queen of the sciences and—”

“Number theory is the queen of mathematics.” You beamed at him. “Your sciences would be nothing without the work of mathematicians.”

“And what does that make me without you?”

Stephen covered his mouth with a chuckle. You hopped down from the counter to refill the empty glass. 

“So you worked at a prison?” Stephen cocked an eyebrow. 

“Yeah. A few.”

“Just what were you doing there?”

“Did anyone make sriracha mayo?” you asked. “I’ll get on that.”

As you strode to the fridge, Stephen and Tony exchanged a glance. Tony rested his hand on your shoulder as you examined the barren contents of his refrigerator. 

“Would you like to stay here tonight?” he asked.

Closing the door, you bolted upright and turned around.

“Um, sure. But I’m not moving here.”

“Just for the night. Let you reset from that kiss with Lang. Or maybe I should say...recover?”

“Alright, fine,” you laughed.

“Stephen?”

“I need to get back to the Sanctum. But...” He cleared his throat. “Thank you.”

“Sure thing.” Tony gripped his shoulder with a firm shake. He raised his eyebrows at you. “Let’s see if he’ll give me food poisoning?”

Stephen rolled his eyes. “I didn’t even touch any of the food.”

“No, but you did find a smooth excuse to put your hands all over me.”

Tony winked at him before slicing and serving the rolls of sushi. Crossing your arms and leaning against the counter, you sipped your wine and wondered...

Where were you going to live?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I tend to get possessed by a writer gremlin and pump out a bunch of chapters at once then hibernate for a week or two. But rest assured an update will come. I'm super curious what your thoughts are on where everyone is on the feel-o-meter. So if you've got thoughts on how everyone is feeling towards each other, comment below! It's always amazing to hear your perspective :)


	23. It's a Wonderful Life

One morning, you continued your ritualistic reading of the newspaper at the kitchen island of the New York Sanctum. Scanning the headlines, you took a sip of coffee and passed the mug to Stephen.

He cocked an eyebrow and accepted.

“You’ve been here for three weeks,” he recounted.

“Luis said he’s got a few options to show me. But they won’t be available to tour until next week.”

You flipped the page without looking up.

“No,” Stephen swallowed. “I have no issue with you staying here. I’m just...nevermind.”

“What, Stephen?”

You glanced at him and tilted your head to the side. But he only pursed his lips and shook his head. With a shrug, you resumed reading; fascinated by a particular article on the newfound success of Professor Jim Moriarty (the non-fictional edition).

“You paid off my loans,” Stephen said.

“Hm?”

“I called the collection agency and they said everything was paid by an anonymous donor.”

“Probably Tony. He’s into charity cases.”

The corner of your lip upturned in the slightest smirk as you continued studying the article, ignoring the ache in your chest.

“It wasn’t Tony.”

“And how did you deduce that?”

“Will you just let me get to the thank you part of this conversation?”

But Stephen had to wait for your answer when Wong entered the kitchen. Your gazed bolted upright as you smiled at the sorcerer.

“Wong. I’ve been meaning to ask your opinion on something.”

“No, I don’t think it’s strange you have your own room. Why you decided to voluntarily spend so much time with—”

“I wasn’t going to ask you about my living arrangement.”

“Oh.” Wong furrowed his brow. “And you want my opinion?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, go on.”

Glancing between you, Stephen narrowed his eyes. Wong was overtly vocal with his opinion to him. But the two of you seemed curiously indifferent to each other. At least, in your three weeks of residency at the Sanctum.

Scott said it was fine if you stayed at his place until Luis presented some additional options. But you kindly declined; neither of you willing to admit your mutual relief.

It took four large cardboard boxes to pack up all of your belongings. Other than your (still) alarmingly large number of briefcases, of course. 

On the day of your move, Tony put his hands on his hips and glanced around your barren bedroom.

“You sure this is it?”

“Yup.”

“There’s not a secret stash of jewels under the floorboards?”

“No, just the rotting corpse of the guy I killed.”

“That’s a terrible disposal method.” Stephen wrinkled his nose.

“You’re never going to tell us where all this money came from, are you?”

“I don’t know, Tony. Where did you get your family fortune?”

Hands on his hips, Tony looked down and shook his head. But Stephen opened a portal to your temporary bedroom and, with a flick of his wrist, your boxes and briefcases were on the other side. 

“You could start a moving company.” You grinned. “That might take care of your medical debt. Since you won’t accept my money.”

“Or mine.”

“But you’re forgetting, Tony.” You held up a finger. “He does get his pride.”

“You know, I can bring the boxes back here in an instant.”

“Then you’ll just have to check out my biceps as I carry them.” Tony shrugged.

Stephen bit the inside of his cheek as he stared at Tony. With a laugh, you draped your arm across Tony’s shoulders and grinned.

“Get us tickets to your next workout?”

“You were both there...last night.”

“Will you just…” Stephen stammered. “Get in your room.”

“Yes, sir.” You raised your hands in defense. “No wait, that’s Tony’s line.”

Snickering to yourself, you hopped across the mystical threshold and began unpacking. Tony wrapped his hands around Stephen’s waist and drew him close.

“You’re going to—”

“Take care of her,” Stephen groaned. “Of course.”

“No, I was going to say take care of yourself.”

“I can take care of myself just fine. It’s you—”

“Ah, ah, we’re not talking about me right now.”

“But it’s one of your favorite topics.”

“Unfortunately for you, someone else is climbing up that list.”

Stephen glanced down and swallowed before returning his gaze to Tony.

“Yes, I-I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll take it, Doc.”

As Tony leaned in and kissed him, Stephen wondered, how he wondered, what else his ego robbed him of over the years. Because if a man like Tony Stark could have such concern for him, Doctor Stephen Strange, mere speck within the indifferent multiverse, who else had he brushed aside in the name of assumption?

He certainly wouldn’t have looked in your direction either.

Tongue laden with regret, Stephen inhaled Tony’s kiss as if his position within the fabric of time depended on it. Because if he were to let go, he might ricochet back into the comforts of the narcissism that used to protect him so fiercely. And he couldn’t afford to lose his place in this precious timeline.

Not for anything.

Upon receiving the sorcerer’s touch, Tony’s heart filled with a cocktail of equal parts surprise, gratitude, and relief. But before he could explore the emotional repercussions of this particular kiss—it felt different from the others for whatever reason—he withdrew with a gentle inhale.

“I’ve gotta, um, get back to work. But you, you’ll help her out?”

“Yes, I will.”

Stephen swallowed and gave him a nod.

“Trinity, you got this?” Tony called into the open portal.

“Yeah.” You looked up from a box. “I do. Thanks for your help.”

“It took, what? An hour to pack your stuff. Maybe you can tell us about that guy you killed tonight.”

“Bye, Tony.”

“Worth a shot. Every damn time.”

He winked at you before patting Stephen on the shoulder and leaving Scott’s place.

Now, as he studied your expression at the kitchen island, Stephen still didn’t know why you chose to live with him. Surely it was to avoid the glow of Tony’s limelight? That had to be it.

With Wong’s full attention, you clasped your hands over the newspaper and leaned forward.

“Do you think it’s a little fucked up that the Sorcerer Supreme is a white guy?”

Wong tilted his head to the side. Of all the questions that could have come out of your mouth, he wasn't expecting this.

“I mean…” You shrugged. “He’s using magic that was surely sourced and discovered by indigenous people. It’s all in Sanskrit, right? And now he’s supposed to be the pinnacle of mystical power on the planet as a white man and the former picture of privilege?”

Wong raised his eyebrows. “Finally.”

“What?” Stephen snipped.

“Someone had to say it.”

Wong grimaced and took the rest of the coffee in the French press.

“Something to think about.” You hopped off the barstool and swiped the paper from the island. “I’ll be, um, I have to meet with Scott at the office today.”

“You left something at his place?”

“What? No. For his business.”

“What are you doing for his business? Evaluating his clients?”

You rolled your eyes. “His clients aren’t unstable criminals, Stephen. For the most part. No, I’m just helping him with some...stuff.”

“Stuff? That’s the best you can do?”

“Bye, Stephen. Have fun with the multiverse.”

“We gave up on the block schedule,” Wong said before a sip of coffee.

Stephen narrowed his eyes at you. “Is something wrong?”

“No, I just...I’ll be back later. Don’t wait for me for dinner or anything.”

Pursing his lips, Stephen watched you strut out of the kitchen with the paper in hand. But he snapped out of his trance when Wong slammed his mug to the table.

“When did the coffee get this good?”

“She, uh, she started buying it.”

He resumed staring at the empty doorway.

Four hours and forty-two minutes later, Stephen’s eyes drifted across a few papers on his desk. He certainly wasn’t adding this character with spontaneously erupting tentacles to his watchlist.

Shoving the papers away, Stephen drew in a breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. His eyes wandered to the bottom left hand drawer. But before he could consider opening it, his phone started ringing.

“If this is about Grey's Anatomy—”

“Don’t hate!” Tony panted. “But no, I just—”

“If you want a decent medical show, you should watch House. There’s no way the guy could have an active medical license. But he’s essentially a medical Sherlock.”

“I like Conan Doyle.”

“I know.” Stephen smirked. “Hugh Laurie spoke with an American accent for the whole—”

“GUYS! Not the...Mark VII...I’m actually attached to that...one.”

Stephen furrowed his brow upon the sound of glass shattering and shouting in a language he couldn’t recognize. At least, not without better audio quality. 

“Tony...why did you call me?”

“She’s with you? Please tell me she’s with you.”

“No, she said she’s with what’s-his-name today. What’s wrong?”

“I’ve got two pissed off Norse Gods who could really use some family thera—fuck it, I’ll call Lang.”

Tony hung up, leaving Stephen to stare at his phone.

At the X-Con NYC HQ, Scott shook out his shoulders with a smirk. 

“You gotta loosen up, man. You’re too stiff.”

“I know.” Luis threw his head back. “It’s just with the suit and the notecards…”

“I know. But if you come off like a robot, I don’t think they’re gonna feel too comfortable. We gotta get them cozy if they’re going to trust us. Know, like, and trust is very important for a new business.”

“Do you think, one day, we could get robots to do this for us? Maybe we can get Doc to ask Mr. Stark to—”

“Hang on. Sorry.” Scott dug into his pocket as his phone started ringing. He furrowed his brow at the caller ID and flashed the screen to Luis.

“Or you could ask him now!”

“I’m never working with Tony Stark.”

Recalibrating his expression, Scott answered the phone with a grin. 

“Hey! Tony! How can I help you?”

He mouthed ‘shut up’ to Luis’ raised brow.

“I need to speak to her.”

“Who? Doc? She’s not here.”

“Stephen said she was with you.”

“Sounds to me like you got some misinformation.”

“Where the hell is she?!”

“I mean, you could call her and—”

“Don’t you think I did that!” More glass breaking. “BOYS, USE YOUR WORDS NOT YOUR FISTS...OR KNIVES...OR...HEY! PUT THAT DOWN!”

Scott put his hand on his hip and smirked. “You don’t know what day it is.”

“November twelfth. Is it her birthday?”

“No. But it looks like you don’t know everything after all, Tony Stark.”

Scott hung up. 

“Maybe you should have told him…” Luis set aside his notecards. 

“No, man. He doesn’t get to know.”

“I mean, he’s just going to find her and—”

“Confidentiality, Luis. If she wanted him to know anything, she would have told him. Told both of them.”

He swiped the notecards from the desk and handed them back to Luis. 

“Besides,” Scott said, “we don’t even know where she is anyway. Or what this about. But this is the one day of the year where she’s always—”

“Alone. I gotcha, Scottie.”

“Alright, let’s try it from the top.”

Sitting in the top row of the empty movie theater, you slumped in your seat. Your eyes vacantly gazed upon the black and white screen, unable to tear them away but equally unable to fully watch the film.

However, your trance was broken when someone took a seat next to you.

“Little early for the Christmas spirit,” Tony said. “It’s a Wonderful Life?”

“How the hell did you find me?”

“You rented this whole theater in cash.”

“Yes, which should make it even harder to find.”

“Not unless you know what you’re looking for.”

You stared at Tony as the glow of the screen illuminated his face. But after holding your breath for a moment too long, you shook your head.

“What do you want?”

“Did you ever do family sessions?”

“I’m not working today, Tony.”

“And what are you doing here?”

Clenching your jaw, you tore your gaze away from him and resumed not watching the movie. As George Bailey dove into freezing waters to rescue an angel, Tony narrowed his eyes and studied your face. 

The hollow look in your eyes.

The shallowness of your breath.

The tightness of your muscles that you certainly weren’t aware of.

“Who did you lose?” he asked.

Sucking in a breath, you glanced down and picked at your nails. Of course, Tony fucking Stark would find you on this day. This day of all days. He readjusted in his seat to inch closer to you.

“I hate the holidays too.” He swallowed. “But someone, someone loved this movie.”

Your jaw ticked. “Tony…”

“Look, you don’t have to tell me anything. I can respect that. But you don’t, you don’t have to be alone. Not today.”

With a pained heart, you slowly raised your gaze to meet his.

“I just...I really miss my dad. So...fucking much.”

“Don’t tell anyone this, Trinity. But I, I do too.”


	24. The Great Sherlock Debacle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry. I could not help myself.

Tony sat with you in silence as you didn’t watch the movie together. 

Throughout the next ninety-six minutes, you were a more interesting specimen than anything on the screen. But even dismissing the more-than-occasional glance from him, you had to admit that being alone wasn’t the worst.

When the final credits rolled, you drew in a breath and bore your eyes into the seat in front of you.

“What do you need help with?” 

“They’ve been like this for hundreds of years. They can survive another day.”

“Thank you...You know, for staying.”

“We’re not done yet.” He patted your knee and rose to his feet. “C’mon.”

“Tony...no. I just—”

“I got you.” He extended his hand.

Eyes flickering from Tony’s open palm to his face, you bit your lip. But ignoring decades-worth of tradition, you placed your hand over his and stood upright. 

“Alright, show me what you’ve got.”

After a completely silent car ride, Tony took you to the 2-spot parking lot of a crumbling building. The cracks in the outer walls spidered across the darkened neon sign that announced a single word.

_Hamburgers_

“Is this payback for the food poisoning?” You tilted your head back.

Tony smirked. “Oh, ye of little faith.”

He leaped out of the car, spinning around before closing the door.

“Be right back.”

As you waited for Tony, you traced circles over your knee; remembering the day you heard that Howard and Maria Stark died in an untimely car accident. Although your father suspected that perhaps the timing was just perfect for someone else.

Having saved Howard Stark’s life twice—he always made sure you knew it was _only_ twice—without the man knowing, your father was certain Stark’s hubris would catch up to him. It’s exactly why he refused to join S.H.I.E.L.D even upon the insistence of Agent Carter.

Well, that and he preferred to have full autonomy over his work. He refused to be restrained to the confines of government watchdogs. Even if his own father, your grandfather, worked with Alan Turing to change the landscape of cryptology.

But perhaps, that was exactly the reason why your father never trusted any government to, not just protect, but to take care of its people.

He agonized for days over whether he should reach out to Tony after his parents died. While the kid was a few years older than you, he was practically the same age as your best friend. 

If the circumstances were reversed, he hoped that someone would be willing to do the same for either of you. Even if Howard Stark would never have been able to set aside their differences and be that person.

Shit, he shouldn’t talk ill of the dead. He knew better than that.

But your father’s uncertainty melted into focus when his cancer diagnosis eclipsed the death of Tony’s parents. There was so much he had to teach you, to tell you, to give you in those numbered months. 

God, how he insisted on maintaining a cautiously optimistic, but still practical sense of time. 

Even as time gnawed away at his lingering existence on Earth, your father knew you would be in good hands. You had the Higashiharas to look after you. But Tony...who did he have? Who did he have to not just look after, but to take care of him?

As your father’s breath grew ragged and his appetite disappeared, he always wondered if he should have let the kid pay for the sins of his father. 

But he silently took these doubts to the grave, choosing to instead impart his blessing to your best friend and listen to your dreams for the future of his company. Never allowing yourself for a moment to believe it would be a future without him.

“Heads up, Trin.”

Tony threw the door open and tossed you a burger. 

“Did you just give my nickname a nickname?”

“Yeah,” he chuckled, setting a milkshake on the dash. “Nick-ception. You won’t even remember your real name.”

“Or you won’t.”

“That’s okay. You’ll remind me on our marriage license.”

“More like divorce papers.”

“Trinity. Do you really think so little of me?”

“Yes, I do.”

Before Tony could reply, you threw your head back after your first bite.

“Goddamn. That is...wow. I was wrong.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard you properly. You just said you were…”

“Wrong, Tony. I was wrong. I won’t be signing divorce papers with you because I’m going to marry this burger.”

“Stephen will be thrilled you chose a piece of dead meat over his marriage proposal.”

“But he still has you.”

With an undeniable grin spreading across his lips, Tony glanced at you and snickered.

“Yeah, I don’t know if he’s too thrilled about that.”

“Stephen believes there’s something to be gained by being nonchalant. Which is understandable and protective. But ultimately robs him of some of the greatest joys and depths that love has to offer.”

You took a sip of the shake and set it back on the dash with a shrug.

“He’ll figure it out. I have full faith in that.”

“Do you mean that?” Tony narrowed his eyes.

“Sure. It might look different than he expected but—”

“No, I mean the part about...about not attaching yourself? Robbing you?”

With a twisting sensation in your chest, you looked into Tony’s eyes and drew in a breath. And he tried, how he tried, to tell you everything that he would not dare say aloud with a single look.

“Yes,” you swallowed. “Of course I do.”

Tony released a pained exhale and dragged his hand down his face. He stared at the broken sign and shook his head. That damn neon hadn’t worked since he actually couldn’t remember the names of the people he slept with.

“I’m going to scare him off,” he whispered.

“It’s not your job to make him comfortable, Tony.”

“Then what is my job?”

“To be expressed. Authentically. However that may look.”

“And what is your authentic expression?”

“Don’t ask me,” you snickered. “I’m not your shrink.” 

Tony took a bite of his burger and smirked.

“Lucky you.”

“Lucky both of us. Or I couldn’t have sex with you. It would be highly unethical.”

Biting his lip, he readjusted in his seat. 

“So do you, um, do you want to talk about it?”

“My dad was a great man, Tony. He was compassionate, generous, and beloved by, well, almost everyone who met him. He cared. He deeply cared about people.”

“That makes sense.”

“What do you mean?”

“Nevermind. Keep going.”

With a smirk, you looked out the window before returning your attention to Tony.

“It wasn’t until a few years after his death that I realized he wasn’t a perfect man. But a man nonetheless. And I don’t know, it was like when the image I had of him shattered, I felt like I lost him all over again.”

“How old were you? When he, you know...”

“Seventeen.”

“Oh, Trinity.” 

“I mean, we knew it was happening. So, in theory, we had plenty of time to prepare. But I just..it still came as a shock.”

“Well, you just answered a question I always wondered.”

“Tony, I’ll tell you now. Our stories are more akin than you may ever know.”

“If that’s true, well, I’m really sorry for that.”

“Me too, Tony. Me too.”

Tony slumped in his seat and stared at the ceiling. He tapped his fingers along the steering wheel and snickered.

“You think Mommy and Daddy Strange are still kicking?”

“Are you eager to meet the parents?”

“You’re a shrink and you haven’t wondered what they’re like?”

You shook your head with a laugh. “I mean, you don’t get that perfectionistic without some serious mommy issues. But who knows. Stephen could surprise you.”

“And your mom?”

“Um, left before I could even talk.”

After a sharp exhale, Tony hung his head. “Trinity, I am so sorry.”

“For?”

“Everyone knows my life. I’ve been making headlines since I was a kid. So I forget that isn’t normal for other people. I’m just, I’m sorry for always prying.”

“Thank you, Tony. Just...thank you.”

“But if, and I know this is a big ‘if’, if you ever want to talk about, well...anything, you've got me.”

He propped himself upright and raised his eyebrows. As Tony leaned closer to you, you unconsciously mirrored the gesture; cautiously being bound together as if an invisible thread wrapped around you.

“You’re a talkative man, Tony Stark.”

“Contrary to popular belief, I am capable of shutting up just long enough to listen.”

“It’s not just a belief, it’s a known fact.”

As the heat of his breath grazed your lips, you could sense his hand hovering closer, closer, closer to your face. But before he could make contact of any kind, your back magnetized to your seat.

“You know I saw you talk at Bern 2000?”

“Is that so?” He rubbed the back of his neck and swallowed. “You must have been what? Like...twelve?”

“Oh, stop. I was old enough to have the real Tony Stark legally buy me a drink. Barely...”

“You would not have liked me then.”

“No, I did not.”

“And now?”

You tilted your head to the side. “Are you in love with Stephen Strange?”

“Jesus, Trinity. You’re going to give me conversational whiplash.”

“Well?”

“Is there anything else you need to do today?”

“No...I don’t usually have anyone else with me.”

Barely suppressing his grin, Tony discarded the remnants of your meal in the parking lot trash can. He started the engine and pulled back onto the street.

“So Thanksgiving…” He glanced at you.

“I usually eat my weight in pie. Alone.”

“And Christmas?”

“We are not roleplaying anything related to—”

“Wait. A. Second.” He held up a finger. “My genius inspiration for all of my—”

“You wanted to do doctor, nurse, and patient. But Stephen couldn’t stop correcting your improper medical terminology.”

“Using anatomically appropriate language is not a sexy look.”

“I agree. But you’re the one who got Stephen started on his lecture about the anatomical structure of a penis...in graphic detail. And we weren’t even allowed to touch each other!”

“He was a neurosurgeon! Not a eurologist. I didn’t think the lesson would last two hours!”

“Tony! Two words. Photographic. Memory.”

“Okay, but isn’t that more his fault than—”

“And then there was magician, assistant, and rabbit.”

“Bunny.”

“I’m never wearing that much glitter again.”

“Fine. What about Captain America and Winter Soldier?” He winked at you.

“Stephen didn’t talk to you for three days after those words left your lips.”

“But we sure had some fun.”

“Oh my god.” You dragged your hand down your face. “I still hate you for that. There are certain things you just can’t unsee.”

“Or unhear.”

You rolled your eyes with a groan.

“Let’s not forget the Sherlock debacle of, what was supposed to be, take out night.”

“Alright, I admit that got a little out of hand.”

“A little?! Tony, I couldn’t tell if you were casting a play or planning a sex party!”

“That CIA agent gives me John Watson vibes. I can’t help it!”

“We are not involving more people in this mess. And we are definitely not getting Loki to be James Moriarty!”

“So you two haven’t had sex?” He raised his eyebrows.

“Not the point! That is just too many dicks for me to handle. And I’m not talking about Stephen’s lecture on anatomy.”

“To be fair, I did suggest we call Christine Palmer. She would make a great Irene.”

“Stephen looked like he was going to strangle you.”

“We have not gotten into that...yet.”

“I’m supposed to be grieving my dead dad today. How did we get here?”

“A really good burger?”

Crossing your arms, you slumped back in your seat and shook your head. 

“Do you do anything? For your parents?”

“No,” Tony gulped. “But who knows. Maybe this year will be different.”

“Honestly, Tony, I hope it is for you. In many ways.”


	25. Paging Doctor Sexy

Tony dutifully returned you to your living quarters, entertaining you as best he could with updates on his current projects. He was certain you weren’t listening as you stared out the window. 

But your occasional grunt and sigh of acknowledgment were better than silence or any musical selection either of you could have chosen. 

He parked in front of the Sanctum and cleared his throat.

“Well, thanks for letting me crash your death day.”

You furrowed your brow. “Why don’t you use an amorphous metal to coat the wiring? The kind they use in pacemakers?”

“What? You mean the ones from HaraTech?”

“Yeah, most pacemakers use a type of titanium alloy. But they developed a liquified metal a number of years ago that’s—”

“Implant-safe, MRI-safe, and capable of wireless charging...Goddamn. You're right.”

You shrugged and threw the door open. But when Tony didn’t turn off the engine you raised your eyebrows. 

“You’re coming in, right?”

“Am I allowed to?”

“Against Stephen’s wishes, I got a TV for my room. Wanna see?”

In a matter of seconds, the car was off and Tony was at your side. 

“Do you have to get up and change the knobs manually?” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“What? No!”

You rolled your eyes and entered the Sanctum.

“Just how big are the antennas?”

“Non-existent.”

“It’s going to cook my eyes. Please tell me it’s going to cook my eyes.”

Stephen strode into the foyer and groaned, “It’s a fifty-five-inch flatscreen. Sorry to disappoint.”

He pecked Tony on the cheek and nodded to you.

“How did he get caught up in…uh, your work?”

“I wasn't with Scott today.”

“I figured that much.”

“It’s actually the anniversary of my dad’s death.”

“Oh, I’m...sorry?”

“Happened decades ago. I usually mope by myself but after our meeting of the dead parents club, I’m feeling fine. Well, fine enough.”

Tony raised his eyebrows. “And your parents are…”

“You don’t want to meet them.” Stephen shook his head. “And we’re never talking about them again.”

“If Trinity has a new TV that won’t give me radiation poisoning, I’ve got an idea.”

Stephen scowled at him “No, we are done with your—”

“But I promise this one is different.”

Biting his lip, Tony raised his eyebrows and looked at you. Upon Stephen’s deadpan expression, you looked between the two of them and jerked your head back.

“How is this suddenly on me?”

“Indulge me?” Tony put his hand over his chest.

“Fine,” Stephen grumbled.

“What if we roleplay as civilians tonight?”

“Stephen just needs to change and we’ve basically got that covered.”

“No, no. I’m suggesting we fully commit to the role. No magic, no suits, no saving the city from killer bees or running companies. Just watching TV together and then, get this, we go to bed at a painfully respectable bedtime.”

“Like midnight?” You cocked an eyebrow.

“So beautiful but such little imagination.” Tony shook his head. “No, like nine.”

“And then we what?” Stephen furrowed his brow.

“We wake up at six and complain about how terrible morning traffic is going to be.”

“And fight over who gets to use the shower first?” you asked.

“And check the weather to see if we need to wear a light jacket or a heavier coat?”

Tony beamed at you. “Now you two are thinking like plain, damn ordinary people!”

“And we can check the stock market and say ‘damn the DOW really dropped today’.” You smirked.

“Well, actually my portfolio is—”

“Tony.”

“Right, right.”

“I could have my 401K back,” Stephen snickered.

“If you really miss your retirement fund that much, I’ll just—”

But Tony snapped his jaw shut at Stephen’s scathing gaze. Eyes darting between you and Stephen, Tony shrugged.

“So…”

“This is your best idea yet.” You beamed at him.

Stephen grinned. “I’m getting ice cream.” 

Committing to the part, he strode past you and walked to the kitchen. Tony furrowed his brow at the staircase.

“Damn, I can’t remember ever walking up these.”

“Come along, Tony. Let me show you to my room.”

In your bedroom, you and Tony leaned against your headboard and sat on either side of Stephen. You glanced down to see an assortment of Ben and Jerry’s along with the Cloak of Levitation curled up at the foot of your bed.

“It’s a...dog?” Tony cocked an eyebrow.

It hissed. He swore he heard it hiss. That thing never makes noise. 

“Cat,” you corrected.

The Cloak approvingly tightened into itself.

As you picked up the remote—yes, Tony was shocked you had one—he opened a pint of Stark Raving Hazelnuts.

“Man, must suck to be that guy.”

“So much responsibility.” You raised your eyebrows.

“And so much money.” Stephen smirked. “I mean, you can’t take it all with you.”

Tony pierced the ice cream with a spoon. “Damn, we’re doing so well.”

“What will it be tonight boys?”

“Wait.” Stephen readjusted to sit further upright. “Do we get to sleep in the same bed? Because I don’t think—”

Spoon still in his mouth, Tony shook his head. “Geez, I’m not taking us back to the stone age.”

Stephen leaned his head against the headboard and sighed. With a light chuckle, you rested your head on his shoulder and looked at Tony.

“Do you want to—”

“No.” Stephen glared at you. “We’re not watching Grey’s Anatomy.”

“I was going to suggest no such thing!”

“I was,” Tony snickered. “But I’ll spare you, honey bee.”

“Honey bee?” Stephen laughed.

“What? She gets a nickname. I’m trying out new ones for you. That one doesn’t really work after the murder bees, does it?”

Pursing your lips, you shook your head.

Stephen drew in a breath and opened his mouth to speak. But before the words could leave his lips, Wong strode by your open door and peered inside.

“What are you three doing?”

“Playing civilians,” Tony replied, licking another spoonful of ice cream clean.

Wong looked at Stephen. “Is this another sex thing?”

“Yes,” Tony called out. “It very much is.”

Shaking his head, Wong walked down the hallway.

“Weirdos,” he muttered under his breath, dragging a severed bildgesnipe head behind him. With a flick of his wrist, the door slammed closed and a silencing charm was cast around your room.

“Supernatural,” you suggested.

“I hate those guys.” Stephen rolled his eyes. 

“Criminal Minds.” Tony poked him in the side. 

“No, there hasn’t been a good crime show since, well, ever.”

“Too bad there isn’t a film adaptation of Sherlock Holmes.” You shrugged.

“Yeah.” Tony furrowed his brow. “Someone should get on that.”

“I hate to say it...but we could go the DC route tonight.” You looked at Stephen.

“NO.” Tony pointed his spoon at you. “I still want to sue them. But Pepper won’t—”

Stephen cocked an eyebrow. “Do you know how expensive it is to hire a lawyer, dear ordinary civilian?” 

“Billionaire with a fancy suit whose parents were murdered by a mentally unstable...oh, forget it.”

Tony stabbed the ice cream and scowled at it, deeply offended by its stubbornly solid form.

“Santa Clarita Diet?” You raised the remote.

As Stephen drew in a breath, Tony yanked the remote from you and slammed the play button. 

“We’ll never be able to please you.”

“What?” Stephen tilted his head back. “I actually like Timothy Olyphant.”

“He’s got great hair.” You shrugged.

“Yup,” they replied.

With a flick of Stephen’s wrist, all melting dairy products were back in the Sanctum freezer.

“Hey…” Tony narrowed his eyes.

“You’re not going to be able to eat while we...”

He gestured to the TV as Sheila Hammond threw body parts in a blender.

“Right.” Tony leaned over and pressed his lips to Stephen's. “Thanks, sugar bear. No more cheating.”

“Can’t you just use the names you already gave me?”

“No can do, Doctor Sexy.” Tony whipped his head around to stare at you. “Hey, isn’t that the name of the—”

“Doctor in the Grey’s Anatomy parody on Supernatural? Yes.”

“I’m not even a medical doctor anymore.” Stephen dragged his hand down his face. 

You nestled closer to him with a smirk. “Oh, so now he’s only got a PhD.” 

With a grin, Tony pointed to you. “You can be McDreamy and he gets McSteamy.”

“Between the two of us, I was the actual neurosurgeon!”

“So you have seen Grey’s Anatomy!” 

Tony nudged Stephen. But the former neurosurgeon jutted his hand to the TV.

“There’s an undead cannibal on screen. Can we just…” 

“Alright, Stephen.” You patted his chest. “Let’s watch Drew Barrymore eat some Nazis.”

“I wonder if Cap’s seen this.” Tony grinned.

Three episodes later, you were practically asleep on Stephen’s shoulder. Tony muted the TV and raised his eyebrows. 

‘Are you tired?’ he mouthed.

Stephen shook his head.

You grumbled yourself awake and rubbed your eyes.

“I, uh, Imma call it. I’ll just sleep in Stephen’s bed. Come get me when the sex part is done.”

With a yawn, you fumbled out of your bed and slunk down the hallway. 

Stephen readjusted to wrap his arm around Tony’s shoulder. He kissed the top of his head, drawing in a breath to murmur into his hair.

“Are you okay?”

“Ten. I fully believe we can fall asleep by ten.”

“No, about…” Stephen sighed. “I know that grief can be…”

Tony propped himself upright and tilted his head to the side.

“You too?”

“My sister.”

“How did we all…”

“I think the term is trauma bonding? I might be misusing it. But I’m sure she’s got some painfully accurate but unnecessary insights.”

“You? Misusing medical terminology?”

“Well, it’s not really medical as much as it’s…”

With a smirk, Tony wrapped his hand along the nape of Stephen’s neck. He drew in a breath and gave him a single nod.

“Stephen, I...I appreciate you.”

Yes, those were the right words.

“I, uh, you too.” Stephen swallowed and held his breath.

You woke up the next morning to a completely empty bed. Limbs tangled in the sheets—Stephen’s were more comfortable than Tony’s, not that anyone would admit it—you patted the surface of the mattress.

But upon the cool temperature reading, you propped yourself upright and groaned.

“Stephen.”

Covers wrapped around your shoulders, you strode to the bathroom and peered through the open doorway.

“Tony?”

No one was passed out on the floor or in the tub.

Peculiar.

You shuffled down the hallway to your room, determined to find a bed with familiar bodies. But when you cracked the door open, you squinted at the equally empty bed.

“Stephen? Tony?”

You made your way back down the hallway and to the staircase. But, foot tangled in ample sheet, you tripped and started careening to the stairs; only to be saved by the Cloak of Levitation.

“Thank you.” 

It propped you upright. 

“Are they, are they in the kitchen?”

The Cloak shook its collar.

“It’s too early for this.” You slammed your eyes closed and swallowed. “Where are they?”

It gestured to your room.

“No, I was just—”

But the Cloak ended your disagreement by grabbing your wrist and dragging you back up the stairs. 

Knocking a broom handle from his face, Stephen wrinkled his nose and sat upright from the linoleum beneath him. 

Linoleum.

He was lying on fucking linoleum.

Facedown, Tony grumbled and started to tilt upward.

“Don’t touch that.” Stephen shoved Tony’s shoulders to roll him over.

With a groan, Tony pressed his palm to his forehead. “How much did we drink? My head…” 

“We didn’t drink anything. We watched an episode of Blue Planet II and...”

“Aw, damn. We didn’t even make it to your bed. She says the funniest things in her sleep.”

"She recites trig identities and math proofs. I now know how to prove the existence of an imaginary number."

"See? Funny."

“Tony…” Stephen glanced around the supply closet. “How did we get to Metro-General?”

“Why are you asking me?”

“You seem like you end up in situations like this more often than I do.”

Stephen rose to his feet, furrowing his brow at the piles of medical supplies upon the metal shelves. He swung the door open and poked his head through. But after a quick glance, he slammed it shut and spun around.

“We’re not at Metro-General.”

In his robes, thank God he was at least in his damn robes, he slid on his sling ring. But as Stephen traced circles through the air, his eyes widened as nothing changed within the fabric of reality.

Tony rubbed the back of his neck. “You got, um, got a problem there?”

“Don’t. Talk.” 

Stephen gritted his teeth. But no matter what he did, he couldn’t conjure a portal. He glanced around to confirm that the Cloak wasn’t anywhere in sight.

After a hard swallow, Stephen readied himself in a fighting stance. But the Ruby Rings of Raggadorr refused to manifest.

He could feel his heart rate increasing. But he had to stay focused. Surely this was just a...well, he wasn't sure what this was. But his experiment wasn't finished yet. Stephen placed his hands in front of the Eye of Agamotto. Yet...

...He

...Could

...Not

...Open it.

Stephen snapped his gaze to Tony.

“I, I can’t use magic.”

“Is this some sort of perfor—”

“Don’t.”

He held up a trembling finger.

“Looks like we’re doing this the old fashioned way.”

Tony patted his shoulder and threw the door open. But, like Stephen, after poking his head through the crack, he slammed the door shut and spun around.

Pressing his back to the door, Tony stared at Stephen with wide eyes.

“That, that was…”

Stephen furrowed his brow as Tony’s mouth hung open.

“Words, Tony. Use your damn words.”

“That’s Jackson Avery!”

“Who?”

“On the phone. That was…”

Tony threw open the door and poked his head through. After confirming his eyes didn’t get fried by your television, he closed the door and raised his eyebrows at Stephen.

“Jackson Avery is on the phone down the hall.”

“Who the...Is that your ex?” Stephen scowled at him.

“No, no, Doctor Sexy.” He squeezed Stephen’s face between his hands. “We may not be at Metro-General. But we are at Seattle Grace.”

“From Grey’s Anatomy?”

Grinning ear to ear, Tony furiously nodded his head. 

Stephen latched his palms to Tony’s wrists and removed his hands from his face. 

“Tony. We are stuck in a TV show. I have no idea how this happened and, even more importantly, I can’t get us out of here.”

“Do you think we could get away with pretending to be surgeons?”

“TONY!”

“Right, right. You know the lingo. I just don’t think you should cut into anyone. Even if they are fictional.”

Tony reached for the door handle. But Stephen skidded in front of the door. 

“We are staying here until we figure out—”

“Alright, but this is more common around here than you might thi—”

“TONY! Zip up your fucking pants!” 

“What are we supposed to figure out from in here?” Tony threw out his hands. “We’re stuck in a goddamn TV show. You can’t use your magic. And my suit is in another freakin' dimension.”

“I don’t know how that would even help us.”

“One, hurtful. Two, our only hope, unless we find something beyond this closet, is Trinity and Wong. Which, as far as rescue teams go, well, we could definitely do worse. Much worse...”

Stephen’s hands tightened around Tony’s shoulders. When did they get there? And damn, he was holding onto him with a painful grip.

Begrudgingly, Stephen’s fingers unfurled from Tony. 

“I’m sorry.”

“One of us has to stay level-headed and since Trinity’s not here, I guess it’s my job.”

He gave Stephen’s shoulder a firm shake. But, looking the sorcerer up and down, he shook his head.

“Man, you’re going to get some looks.” Tony threw the door open. “C’mon, Doctor. It’s a beautiful day to save lives.”

"You're still going to help me find a way out of this place.”

“Of course. But if I can touch Derek Shepherd’s hair, I’m not passing that up.”

Stephen gave him a deadpan expression.

“Oh, don’t get jealous.” Tony smirked. “You can have Hunt.”

“Let’s just get out of here.” Stephen strutted past him and into the hallway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic started as a crack one shot (ch 2) and here we are now xD. Don't worry if you haven't seen Grey's. You should still get most of what happens next.


	26. Stuck in a Dimension with You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode used for this is S6 E24 of Grey's Anatomy.

As Tony and Stephen strutted through the hallway of the ER, a nurse stopped them. She looked Stephen up and down and tilted her head to the side.

“Are you two...lost?”

“Nah.” Tony wrapped his arms around Stephen with a squeeze. “Just picked this one up at the airport. He thought we were doing a LARPing thi—”

“I apologize. We’re visiting my sister." Stephen elbowed him with a grunt. "She should be in post-op. But he led us down the wrong hallway. I told you the elevator is that way!”

He jutted his hand toward the end of the hall.

“Actually, it’s to the right,” the nurse corrected.

“Thank you.” Tony put his hand over his chest and leaned forward. “C’mon, honey. Let’s go check out that elevator.”

Stephen rolled his eyes as Tony grabbed his hand and led him down the hallway. At the elevator, Stephen crossed his arms and grumbled.

“Where are you going?”

“I dunno.” Tony pressed the up button. “Looking for some massive sparkling portal that might lead us back to our girlfriend.”

“Oh my God.” Stephen rolled his eyes.

“What? When else am I going to get to say it?”

“We are not going to talk about our relationship status when we are trapped in anoth—”

The doors opened.

Leaving Tony and Stephen’s mouths hanging open to see Alex Karev on the elevator floor...

...With blood pooling around him.

“Aw, shit,” Tony whispered.

Stephen leaped into the elevator and started examining Alex. Identifying the source of the bleed, he pressed his palm to the wound and looked at Tony.

“I need you to apply pressure here. I-I can’t, not with my—”

“Who...the fuck...are you?” Alex groaned. “Get your hands off me...you...God...what are you...wearing?”

As the elevator doors started closing, Tony rammed his elbow to the doors to pry them back open.

“We have to get out of here. NOW,” he demanded.

“He’s bleeding out! I need you to help me or get some help. We’re in a hospital for fuck’s sake!”

“Stephen. I need you to get out of the damn elevator. There is a shooter in this hospital and I don’t want to find out the hard way that you’re not bulletproof in this dimension. Let’s GO.”

“I can’t, I can’t just leave him here.”

“He is a fictional character. Right now, the only advantage we have is that I know exactly what happens in this episode. Sloan and Lexi are supposed to find him any second. The more that we mess with this, the more likely we’re going to alter the outcome.”

“Lexi…” Alex’s eyelids fluttered.

“Yeah, yeah. Hold her while you can, Evil Spawn. Now, Stephen, pookie. It’s time to get the fuck out of here.”

“I am still a doctor. I can’t—”

“Believe this is happening to me. Look, we’re already finishing each other’s sentences.”

Tony leaped into the elevator. He replaced Stephen’s hands with his own to apply pressure to Alex’s gunshot wound. 

“There’s no exit wound,” Tony said. “He needs a chest tube and an IV.”

“Since when did you—”

“I may not have a photographic memory. But I have seen this episode a thousand times. And why does everyone seem to forget that I actually possess enough medical knowledge to, I don’t know, prevent shrapnel from stabbing my heart in a damn terrorist cell.”

“Episode?” Alex wrinkled his nose. “Oh God. You two...you two got outta psych, didn’t...didn’t you?”

Tony rolled his eyes. “The shooter just waltzed into the ER to enact vengeance on his brain-dead wife. He shoots Alex, Derek, and two of the Mercy-West transfers die.”

“Serves them right,” Alex grumbled.

“Dude! I can’t even say that’s too soon because one of them isn’t even dead yet!”

“So you can, like, you think you can...see the future?” Alex blinked firmly. “That’s what got you...locked up in here?”

“Well actually, it’s his—”

“You can’t even bring a gun into an ER!” Stephen shouted. “That’s what they have metal detectors for. What kind of a hospital is this?”

“A fictional one! Remember?”

“Help,” Alex groaned. “I’m trapped with the psycho...stranger than fiction guys...I can’t...I’m not going out like this.”

“Tony…”

“Yes, sugar bear?”

“What happens when the episode ends?”

“This one is a two-part season finale.”

“But what happens when this ends? What happens to us? Are we going to be stuck here?”

“I don’t know, SORCERER SUPREME! What mystical acid trip did you send us on?”

“Our entire fate is in the hands of a woman who uses us as her personal sex toys and...Wong.”

“Oh, c’mon. I think you can give Trinity a little more credit.”

“I forgot to get mustard on his sandwich last week.” Stephen stained Alex’s blood on his face as he pressed his palm to his forehead. “Is that enough for him to trap me inside of Grey’s Anatomy for all eternity?”

“Was it like...the good deli spicy mustard?”

With a gulp, Stephen nodded.

Tony grimaced. “We’re screwed.”

“Tony...I—”

But Stephen snapped his jaw shut as the elevator started moving upward. They glanced up as the sound of a palm eagerly smacking the doors became louder and louder.

“That’s Sloan,” Tony said.

And, as if on cue, the doors opened to reveal the horrified faces of Mark Sloan and Lexi Grey.

“We’re just here...visiting his sister.” Tony shrugged and nodded to Stephen. “But don’t worry. He’s a surgeon.”

  
  


At the New York Sanctum, you stared at the Cloak of Levitation as it pointed to your television. 

“You want to...watch TV together?”

Facepalm.

It just gave you a facepalm.

But it started wiggling as you reached for the remote. 

“I don’t know what this is about. But I hope that—Oh my God!”

The remote clattered to the floor as you tilted your head to the side. Furrowing your brow, you took a step forward and pressed your fingertips to the screen. 

“Stephen? Tony?”

On screen, Tony helped Mark throw Alex’s body onto a conference table. Stephen pressed the heels of his palms to his forehead and grimaced. 

Mouth hanging open, you turned to the Cloak.

“They can’t hear me can they?”

It shook its collar.

“WONG!”

You dashed out of your room.

In the (televised) conference room, Lexi set the medical supplies aside and shook her head. 

“The shooter could come back at any minute. We have to get him out of here.”

“He’s not coming back,” Tony grumbled.

She glared at him. “You don’t know that!” 

“Yes…” Alex gasped. “They can...they can see the...future...they’re nut jobs.”

Mark examined him, unable to find an exit wound. Alex whined in agony as Mark flipped him over.

“The bullet is still in him,” Mark said to Lexi. “Start an IV while I set up a chest tube.”

She stroked the side of Alex’s face. “You’re going to be okay.”

“You two injured?” Mark called out. “Or will you be? If your psychic visions are accurate.”

“We’re good!” Tony crossed his arms and retreated to the other side of the room with Stephen. 

Stephen gulped and leaned over. “Do I even want to know what happens next?”

“Well, he puts a chest tube into Evil Spawn and Lexi goes to get blood. But that’s the you-know-what finds her and—”

Alex started screaming as Mark cut into this side.

As Lexi tried to keep him quiet, Mark continued putting the chest tube in Alex. But, sensing a new presence, Mark slowly looked toward the door. Tony and Stephen followed his line of sight.

“No,” Tony whispered. “He’s supposed to be with…”

“We altered the timeline.” Stephen grabbed his hand, taking a step forward.

With the barrel of his gun pointed at Mark, the gunman shook his head.

“Stop. Operating. On him.”

“Mark,” Lexi whimpered.

“Please.” He shook his head. “You don’t have to—”

“He’s not a surgeon!” Tony blurted out.

Pure panic written across his face, Stephen whipped his head around. “Ton—”

“He only, only shoots surgeons,” Tony whispered then redirected his attention to the gunman. “He’s, um, from dermatology. Probably going to kill this du—”

Stephen shoved Tony out of the way just as the gun aimed and fired. Their bodies collapsed to the floor with a pained thud just as the gunman drifted away from the doorway in search of Derek Shepherd. 

“I was wrong,” Tony grunted. “You’ll never hear me say it again but—Stephen.”

Tony’s eyes blew wide open as Stephen pressed a violently shaking hand to his bleeding shoulder.

“I’ll be fine,” Stephen gasped, trying to lean upright. “Guy has terrible aim.”

He collapsed back to the floor with a cough.

“Oh my God.” Lexi rushed over. But she stopped in her tracks when Tony pointed his finger and glared at her.

“Don’t you dare come near him! You are a baby surgeon and I will not let you touch him!” He started rifling through the available medical supplies. “Calm, calm, calm. I just have to STAY CALM!”

“Lexi, he’s losing a lot of blood,” Mark redirected the baby surgeon’s attention to Alex.

Stephen slammed his eyes closed and groaned as Tony cut through his robes to expose the gunshot wound. He pressed his palm to his forehead and shook his head.

“Oh God. I’m going to have to remove this bullet from you. I can’t, I don’t know how to…”

“Tony, love. You play operation...on your own damn heart. You can...remove a bullet from my shoulder.”

“No, no, no. You just used a genuine term of endearment.” Tony threw his hands into his hair. “You really are dying. Don’t die on me. Not yet, not until—”

“I love you but will you just hand me the damn pliers and I’ll take it out myself.”

“Hold up! You what?”

“I NEED TO REMOVE THIS BULLET FROM MY SHOULDER!”

“Right, right, right, right.”

Stephen gritted his teeth as Tony started to dig into his shoulder. But the two gasped sighs of relief as their faces illuminated with a familiar orange glow.

“STEPHEN!” you shrieked and leaped to the other side.

Tony yanked the bullet from Stephen’s shoulder and tossed the pliers aside.

“You really gotta work on your timing, Trinity.”

“I had to literally run to the deli because...oh, forget it.”

You threw Stephen’s good arm over your shoulder and dragged him through the portal, Tony right on your heels. Just as Wong closed the dimensional rift, Mark and Lexi looked at each other with gaping mouths.

“Did they just…” Mark furrowed his brow.

“Not psych patients?” 

“Not psych patients.”


	27. Three Words, Eight Letters

Sitting on the edge of your bed, Stephen groaned and pressed his palm to his open wound. Grumbling to himself, he gave you a nod.

“I assume even you can stitch up a superficial GSW.”

“Stephen, we need to get you to the hospital.”

He sighed and manifested a bottle of scotch and suture kit. Well, at least his magic was doing its damn job. As his hand struggled to begin a steady pour over his shoulder, you yanked the bottle from his hand.

“We are not using my bedroom as a chop shop. I’m getting Wong to take you to the hospital.”

But the Cloak of Levitation grabbed your wrist and spun you around.

“It would just be a waste of their time and resources,” Stephen said. “I’ve been through worse.”

As he reached for the bottle, Tony swiped it from your hand.

“I’ve got this.” He gave you a nod.

“At least use actual rubbing alcohol,” you groaned.

Tony took a swig of the scotch and gasped. 

“On it.”

He traded the bottle with one that Stephen already conjured. You crossed your arms and held your breath as Tony started cleansing Stephen’s wound.

“So…” Tony quirked an eyebrow. “You said some things back there.”

Stephen hissed when the alcohol met his skin. 

Yes, he had faced a life-altering car accident, his entire reality folded inside out (quite literally), and he died countless times on the whim of an interdimensional dark demon.

But this...this conversation.

Nothing prepared him for this.

“Yeah, I had to yell at you. I-I’m sorry.”

In the middle of Stephen’s sutures, Tony paused and looked him in the eyes.

“Oh my God.”

“What?” Stephen snorted. “Forgot how to—”

“You would rather _apologize_ to me than…”

“Than criticize your suture technique?”

“Stephen.”

“Tony.”

You furrowed your brow as they stared at each other. Stephen was desperate to look away. But, stubbornness working against him (or was it for?), he was unable to break eye contact as his heart raced faster and faster.

“Three words,” Tony whispered. “Eight letters.”

Stephen drew in a breath. He barely opened his mouth before pursing his lips and shaking his head.

“I am Groot.”

“WHOA!” you and Tony protested.

“God, you’re filthy.” Tony wrinkled his nose and resumed stitching him up. “He’s kissed both of us with that mouth.”

“So we...we all took that Udemy course from Thor?” You cocked an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” Tony snickered. “He’s moving it to Masterclass next year. I don’t know if they’re going to let him take _that_ portion with him.”

He gestured to Stephen’s smug expression.

“Sorry about your TV, Trinity.”

“How was I supposed to know the thing was cursed? I got it from one of Luis’ buddies.”

“You have fifty million dollars under your mattress and you got a used television? I thought you said that thing was new.”

“New to me.”

“God, it’s a good thing you’re both pretty.”

Tony shook his head and finished Stephen’s stitches. He nodded to the Cloak of Levitation.

“So how does this work? Since he’s only got one good shoulder?”

It dutifully placed itself over Stephen’s uninjured shoulder, the other half of the collar tucking behind his back. Tony raised his eyebrows as the Cloak readjusted to provide a sling for the sorcerer.

“That works.”

“Aside from the obvious,” you gulped, “are you both okay?”

Tony rose to his feet. “Yeah, I’m good. No, wait.”

He spun around, gingerly placing his palms to either side of Stephen’s face and drawing him into a kiss. Stephen steadied his hand on Tony’s forearm.

With a smirk, Tony withdrew and decorated Stephen’s lips with one more quick peck.

“I love you.”

“I-I love you too.”

“Apparently I’m worth taking a bullet for.”

“Don’t let it get to your head.”

“Too late.”

Tony pressed a kiss to the top of Stephen’s head. He spun around and held out his hands.

“I know better than to try that with you.”

You quirked an eyebrow. “Yes, you do.”

“Careful, Trinity. We are loveable as hell. Just proved it.”

“If you love your boyfriend so much, why won’t you let him answer my question?”

“I’m fine,” Stephen said. “I’ve been through worse.”

You took a step toward him, tracing your palm over the nape of his neck. 

“You are going to exploit the hell out of this, aren’t you?”

“Well, if I wasn’t, then you’d actually have to be worried.”

He smirked as you leaned in and gave him a kiss. Threading your fingers through his hair, you gently massaged his scalp and smiled.

“Taking a bullet for someone is pretty damn heroic.” You smirked. “And totally hot.”

Popping upright, you threw one arm around Tony and placed your palm to his chest. 

“We’re going to take good care of him, aren’t we?”

“I’ll show you the best damn bedside manner you’ve ever seen.”

Tony wiggled his eyebrows and gave you a kiss. 

“Why don’t you just move in here?” He traced his thumb over your cheekbone.

“Because this isn’t even your place to invite me to live in.” You untangled yourself from him with a laugh. “Luis should have a few places to show me soon. I’ll be fine.”

“We’re coming with you,” Stephen said.

“What? No, I don’t need—”

“Yes, you do. If he’s the one selecting places for you, you’re going to need someone with decent standards to talk some sense into you.”

“Make that two. Two someones with decent standards and highly vocal opinions,” Tony chimed in.

You threw your head back and groaned. But Stephen rose to his feet with a grunt. 

“If we’re ever going to visit you at this place, it can’t be disgusting.”

“Who said I’d ever have you over?”

They looked at each other, paused for a moment, then laughed.

They fucking laughed.

“Good luck with that, Trinity.” 

Tony patted your shoulder as you crossed your arms and rolled your eyes.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” Stephen snickered.

“You two being an item is going to be hell for me.”

Tony grinned. “Yes, we struggle to express our feelings and we will absolutely make it your fucking problem.”

“Alright.” You strutted to your desk and withdrew your prescription pad. “Do you have any allergies I should know about? Previous bad reactions?”

Stephen shook his head.

You scribbled a note and handed the prescription to Tony.

“I’ll stay with him while you go on a drug run.”

“Yes, Doctor.” He gave you each a quick peck before rushing out the door.

You helped recline Stephen on your bed.

“How’s your pain?”

“I’m fine.”

“You are a terrible liar.”

“But at least I’m pretty.”

“Yes,” you laughed. “That you are.”

“Promise me something?” He grabbed your hand.

“Depends on what. As I recall, I tend to make promises I can’t keep.”

“Don’t give me any Jello.”

“Now, that, I can do.” You kissed his forehead. “But I am going to get you some water and something to eat.”

“Okay,” he grumbled.

From the doorway, you smiled at him.

“I’ll be back before you can say ‘I love you’.”

Just as he opened his mouth to speak, you gave him a wink and dashed down the hallway. 

Because that was a promise you knew you could keep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus head canon if she got a dog [on Tumblr.](https://melanoms.tumblr.com/post/637047012557225984/trinity-drags-tony-and-stephen-to-the-humane)


End file.
